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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My mom walked in on me [17f] and my bf [20m] having sex, now she won't talk to me
POST: I haven't seen my boyfriend for a couple weeks, so when he came over we started watching a movie, things heated up and we started having sex.
Now my mom knows we've had sex, but my bf and I often get away with it before anyone walks in (I'm not allowed to lock my door and it's easily able to be unlocked anyway).
So anyway we were going at it and my mom suddenly opened the door (she doesn't knock), she saw what we were doing and closed the door. Bf and I decided to stop right after and when I went to ask my mom if dinner was ready (I didn't know she was the one who walked in at the time) she seemed upset. I asked her why and I think she said "You know." but I didn't hear her clearly. She's also been sick the past few days.
I'm really close to my mom and I feel like I hurt her feelings. How do I fix this?
TL;DR: | Mom walked in on me and bf having sex, I feel like I hurt her and I want to know how to fix it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Accidentally set off sprinkler system in college
POST: Hi, I'm a first-year student at a four year university in America. Yesterday, I accidentally set off the sprinkler system in my dorm room closet. I have occasionally had to hand wash and hang dry clothes. I don't have anywhere to hang dry, so I would hang it on the edge of the sprinkler located in my closet because it was a convenient place. I'm not familiar with how these sprinklers work, but while taking my clothes down yesterday, I bumped into a tiny red latch of some sort on it and the entire system exploded with high pressurized water. It sprayed for about 20 minutes before the fire department could shut it off. This flooded my first floor room and outside and into the hallway. Damages haven't been assessed yet, but they seem fairly minimal. It destroyed two ceiling tiles in my closet, kind of fried some electrical equipment above the tiles, and made the carpet wet in the hallway, but I acted fast with some other students and was able to save all electronic equipment from my room and that of my hallmates. My closet items got it the worst but I was able to salvage most of them. Stupid accident, I wasn't aware it could happen, but there were no warning labels or information provided to me about the system beforehand. It's worth noting that this exact same situation has occurred here before. I was honest with the police and university about hanging my shirts, as they questioned me minutes after the incident ended while I was still pretty frazzled.
I'm waiting to hear from the university and my family is waiting to hear from our homeowners insurance. We're unfamiliar with these processes and it would likely wreck our finances. The only reason I'm able to attend is because of my scholarship, and we wouldn't be able to pay thousands out of pocket. We have homeowners insurance, and apparently there is a clause that's covered damage like this before for other students, but even the deductible on that would be a huge hit.
Our property insurance policy basically states that the coverage protects against physical loss or damage to university property. The coverage has a $25k deductible, which means "the University self-insures for losses below 25k."
Any help or advice would be appreciated.
TL;DR: | Accidentally set off sprinkler system, caused damage, this has happened before at my university, have homeowners through State Farm, not sure what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me 29 F with my 31 M 4 months, does past experiences dictate future behavior?
POST: Hello, I am in a great relationship with a man who really cares about me, but I'm afraid I'm going to sabotage it with my anxiety about his past.
In his past, my boyfriend has fluctuated between periods of being in a relationship and periods of casual sex, probably more time being spent on the latter. I, on the other hand, have only had sex in the context of a relationship.
I'm pretty into psychology and I was reading about sociosexual orientation, which is willingness to engage in casual sex. Based on his past, I feel that he is much higher on the sociosexual spectrum than I am. I have been reading that this is correlated with a lot of negative things, like lower commitment and cheating.
I'm scared that we are incompatible in this way, although we have discussed and I know he wants an exclusive romantic relationship with me. Is his past a red flag, or am I wrong to use statistical correlation to make conclusions about an individual?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend has been more casual in the past than I have, and I'm worried this means that we are fundamentally different in how we ultimately view relationships. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My sister [25] is refusing to speak to me [22] over how I responded to a comment she made.
POST: Last week I went out to a show with my sister and a couple of friends. After the show we went to a restaurant but at this point I was really tired and in a slightly bad mood because of this. She made a comment about me not finishing my drink and my exact response was "Yea..and?" This was a snobby response for sure, but being as tired as I was I didn't think anything of it. For the rest of the evening she was being really short and very aggressive towards me, which I just ignored because I really didn't think it would be a big deal.
The next morning as soon as I woke up and saw her she started yelling at me about it, and I told her I was sorry and I was really tired and in a bad mood so I didn't think it was that bad of a thing to say. She was still really angry and asked me if I thought that gave me a right to be a snobby bitch to her, which I responded with "No, I'm sorry. I didn't think it was that bad." I thought that was the end of it so I walked away.
This was about a week ago and she refuses to speak to me or acknowledge my presence or anything I say to her. I know I was being kind of snobby because I was tired, and I don't think walking away from her when she was angry at me helped either, but because she won't acknowledge me or talk to me I can't even speak to her without her closing her door in my face or interrupting what I'm saying by talking to her dog.
This is the first time this has ever happened between us and I have no idea what to do to fix this situation. She's taking this situation and making it into a way bigger deal than I think it should be, and because of this I have no idea what to do to make it better or how to even apologize to her. I want to talk to my sister again and for things to be okay but I really don't understand how it got this bad. Because she's ignoring me I can't apologize by saying anything to her.
TL;DR: | I responded to my sister in a snobby way while tired, she got mad at me and now she's not speaking to me. How do I apologize to her without talking to her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [19M] girlfriend [18F] have been dating for over 2 years and she admitted two weeks ago to cheating on me a week before that.
POST: What happened was I was at a party, she was hanging with her friends somewhere else and they were bored so I invited them to the party. After a while my girlfriend and I head upstairs to do the deed but we were interrupted mid thrust by a couple drunk people.
She didn't seem phased but I stopped right then and we just hung out until the party finished. She left with her friends and later that night gave one of the guys [18M] a bj but refused sex. She was the DD so she wasn't drunk. She apparently felt awful and told me as soon as she could face to face.
I told her i was really mad and wasnt sure what we should do but i told her to block and break all contact with that guy. Later that week I took a glance at her phone and saw she had snapchatted that same guy. It was a harmless snap, I saw her take it and to be fair she sent that snap to like 10 other people. I later searched her phone and found she had deleted her normal texts to that guy. She said she had done that because she didn't want to upset me but that she also hadn't texted him since that night.
I told her we were going to take a week long break and I'm nearing the end of that week, what do I do? I love her so much and I want to keep us going but I don't know how to trust her again.
While this is not an excuse, it's worth mentioning that her dad was caught cheating on her mom a few weeks before that incident.
TL;DR: | girlfriend cheated but admitted it to me as soon as she could and only gave a bj but we're long distance what do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: Sick puppy - advice needed
POST: About 3 weeks ago, my husband brought home a cuddly, sweet, dirty little stray dog.
We took him to the vet the following day to find he had sarcoptic mange. He received his first round of vaccines, an ivermectin injection, and temeril-p for itching and inflammation. We have taken him to the vet weekly for ivermectin injections. She estimated him to be about 8 weeks at that time.
Last week, after his third ivermectin shot, he broke out into a rash on his stomach and began itching again even though he was still on the antihistamine. So we returned to the vet 2 days after this began to be told it was probably a yeast infection from an antibiotic he was put on the week prior to clear up some of the pustules still hanging around. Poor puppy's been on more meds than I've been on my whole life!
Vet decided to stop the antibiotic and try a probiotic and some athletes foot powder for the rash. She also went ahead and gave him his second round of vaccines.
So here we are, two days later, and while the rash is clearing up, he has HORRIBLE congestion. Runny nose, red runny eyes, and his jowls are puffy, red, and have some crust forming. He whines when we go to wipe it off. He has been sleeping more than usual, but we aren't sure if that's from getting the go ahead to allow him to play some with our other dog and wearing him out, or from his new illness.
Now I'm worried it could be distemper, and wondering whether or not we should quarantine him away from the other dog again.
Does anyone have any insight into what could be going on? We will be taking him back to the vet tomorrow... They know us by name there now.
TL;DR: | puppy treated for mange ends up with a yeast infection from antibiotics and now has something resembling a cold with crusty lips. Worried it could be distemper. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I[20M] fresh in a relationship worry over becoming dull in relationship with girlfriend[21F]
POST: Hello lads,
I am somewhat of an anxious guy deep inside, but never try to show it outside. I have known a girl for a while, and after months of being too scared to make a move, I eventually dared myself to kiss her. We talked, and she said I was the first guy she actually liked, and eventually, we got together.
Now I tend to not be overly needy with her, overly pushy, or invasive. I value some sense of personal freedom, and will talk with her when we both are on comfort level. We have talked about so many things, and I feel as if I know her extremely well on so many different front, truth be told, I sometimes find it hard to think of things to talk about. This does not really make matters bad, but... I am not sure whether it could damage the romance.
I have had no experience whatsoever with females before, so I don't know how to be 'flirty' or anything. We joke, we laugh, and once in a while, I give her an honest-to-god meaningful compliment. I overthink every detail, because I like her so much, and because I don't want her to stop liking me back. But I feel like it could all become old soon enough, and that eventually it will end in a caring but unromantic relationship between the two of us; this is not something I want. We go on interesting dates, but there are only so many ideas I can think of before it boils down to just hanging, and she really seems to enjoy spending her time with me on these dates.
My question is, how did you guys get over this paranoia of letting the relationship become stale? Should I take it easy, and stop worrying so much about it, or is this supposed to be part of the relationship? I see her as 'out of my league', and therefor believe the situation to end in a way that she might find someone more 'exciting'.
TL;DR: | I feel like the fun and nice relationship we have at the moment could lose its romantic edge, for no apparent reason but losing conversation topics to talk about. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My father passed away recently, was a decorated officer in the USAF, but he rarely talked about it. How do I identify his medals and learn more?
POST: First, I think this is the appropriate sub-reddit. If not, please let me know where I should inquire.
My father passed away from diabetes-related heart disease a couple of weeks ago. I would describe him as a badass but also intellectual. He also balanced that out with appropriate reddit-like affection for Stark Trek: TNG, Dr. Who, and other Sci-Fi interests.
But one of things he rarely spoke about was his time in Vietnam. From what I've been able to glean from various brief discussions usually over drinks, was that he served in the USAF, running intelligence while stationed alongside the Special Forces (Green Berets?). He told me he was wounded twice, once from shrapnel from a bomb that exploded in his camp, and the second was bullet wound he sustained after being shot down. Of his three children, I was the only one he told these stories to. Not sure why. After the funeral, I was given his medals.
* His medals/awards:
A few outstanding questions that I'd like to find the answers to. I'm obviously not expecting answers to all of these questions, but more so how can I find the answers:
* How could he have fought alongside the Special Forces if he was in the Air Force?
* What are these medals?
* What did he do to earn them?
For background, this is my dad and I taking a nap in 1980:
Thanks, Reddit. I'm sure some other Vietnam vet's kids will ask the same questions. Hopefully this help them in the future, too.
TL;DR: | Dad didn't talk much about Vietnam. What did he do to receive these medals? How can I learn more? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: My (28m) gf (26f) cheated on me and we worked through it. Need help dealing with the residual effects.
POST: I'm going to post here under the assumption that a lot of people have dealt with a similar situation to what I am experiencing now (this may or may not be the case, so let me know). For some background I have been in a LDR for 6 months now, and while it's been extremely difficult, I believe that my relationship now is very strong and that both my girlfriend and I love each other very, very much. That being said, let me explain a few things: After 5 months apart my girlfriend cheated on me with a friend. In retrospect I'm not entirely surprised that it happened, and I've forgiven her and we've moved on. Don't get me wrong, I know she will do probably cheat on me again at some point, and I can't say that I particularly care so long as she still loves me (sex is just sex). We've come up with rules for our relationship to help with this eventuality, so this isn't where my issues come from. The problem here is that the act of her cheating on me has caused me to become sensitive to my own insecurities. Right now I don't feel particularly attractive (although I am, physically) to my girlfriend or to women in general. I have a very strong desire at the moment to try to have sex with other women for self-validation, even though that's not supposed to be where self-confidence comes from (I shouldn't have to depend on the opinion of other people in order to feel good about myself).
1) Should I mention how I feel to my girlfriend? (I don't think that the discussion would ruin our relationship, but she would feel extremely guilty at causing me to become insecure, or at least that's how she'd see it)
2) Has anyone else had similar feelings in the past and managed to deal with them in a more positive manner than just banging everyone you can?
TL;DR: | I no longer feel that I'm attractive, and feel a strong urge to sleep with other women besides my girlfriend in order to validate myself. How can I feel better about myself without resorting to unhealthy behavior? |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: List of foods by calorie density
POST: I just thought I would share this spreadsheet I put together. It's fairly simple. All I wanted was a list of foods by calorie density and I could not find a decent one anywhere^1, so I grabbed [this list] and added some simple calculations to display the number of calories per 100 grams of food, thereby allowing me to compare the number of calories in different foods on a one-to-one scale (at least in relation to weight).
It also shows the amount of fat, carbs, protein, cholesterol & saturated fat as well. That means you can add filters to find food with low calories and high protein, or high fat and high protein and low carbs, or whatever you are looking for.
Right now it's sorted by calorie density and is color coded. If you want to change how it's sorted or add filters you will have to download the spreadsheet and then you can do whatever you want with it *(File > Download As)*.
Anyway, I hope you find it useful or at least get some data-nerd pleasure from it. Did you know raw spinach has more protein than sour cream? I didn't!
------
^1 ^- ^
TL;DR: | ^version: ^This ^article ^has ^a ^decent ^summary ^of ^food ^groups ^and ^their ^calorie ^density ^ranges ^at ^the ^bottom: ^ |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I (F22) tell an oblivious roommate (F22) that she is gross?
POST: Not sure if this is the right place to post. My roommate just moved in a few weeks ago and I am having trouble...
I already told her directly "Let's please make sure all the food is rinsed off the dishes and utensils before we put them in the rack." and "I cleaned the counters today, so let's clean up after ourselves every time we cook so we can maintain it."
But every day there is meat juice, pieces of chicken, food on the dish drying towel, food all over the dish rack and counters. There is coffee grounds EVERYWHERE. It takes me 25 minutes to clean the counters/stove/dishes before I can make my food because the dishes and counters are so dirty I can't use them.
How can someone be so messy? Did her parents just always clean up after her or is her home even worse?
Also, she moved to the US when she was 16 (she's 22 now) and her English is not the best, but she understands like 95% of what we say (she's Vietnamese-German).
How else can I get through to her? I don't want to clean up every single day and I can't just leave it cuz then it becomes a health hazard (raw chicken on counters and dishes) and she won't clean it.I don't know how else to phrase this.
TL;DR: | My roommate leaves food on everything. Already told her to keep things clean and it didn't work. How else can I get through to her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: I cummed in my girlfriend
POST: Hey everyone thanks for taking the time to look at this, I was hoping to get some advice on what to do for my girlfriend.
First off, my girlfriend is on Implanon and has been for almost exactly a year now. Second, we always have unprotected sex but I pull out and finish on her stomach (except for this most recent time).
So we were at our new apartment and I have been calling people back and forth all day for apartmenty stuff when I finally get a break, cable guy just left, parents weren't coming over for 2 hours. So my girlfriend just looks at me as soon as I finish on the phone and gives me a look then says "I want to have sex".
So we get down to business and she is into it WAY more than usual, I almost forgot I was fucking her because of how much she is moaning and grabbing me so I was just so focused on that and I felt like I needed to come but she was so happy getting fucked that I just couldn't tell myself to finish yet and well yea I did despite not wanting to.
She immediately gives me the most "my life is fucked" face I have ever seen, it tore my heart in half the instant I saw it. She had her hands over her head and was shaking, then she started crying and went to the bathroom. Every time I saw her face it killed me inside because of the despair in her eyes. I went and got a plan b pill to help ease her mind but she didn't sleep with me yesterday and has been really distant and doesn't want to talk.
Basically I am not worried about her getting pregnant, I am confident 2 birth controls will take care of that. But I feel like I betrayed her trust and that is worse to me and most likely her. I just don't know what to do to make her feel better or if she won't until she has a period. Even then I don't want this to ruin our relationship.
TL;DR: | Betrayed girlfriends trust by cumming in her instead of on stomach, she has BC and we used plan b. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Parenting
TITLE: Fully potty trained 3.5 y.o. son has gone back to wetting the bed nightly. Seems like we've tried everything. Advice?
POST: Our three and a half year old has been fully potty trained since before he was three and has not had any issues with wetting the bed up until a month ago.
We've tried making sure he has had no drinks after dinner; he has to use the potty before bed even if he doesn't want to; tried putting him in pull-ups to discourage him since he hates "wearing diapers like a baby"; we've given him beach towels to use as blankets as a hopeful deterrent; we've tried both positive and negative reinforcement to see what will help.
Part of why we're trying to "dissuade" him is that we don't believe they are all quite accidental. He has also wet himself a number of times while awake and then won't alert us to the problem, and he even once pooped in his sister's bed, yet took the time to go grab toilet paper to wipe and left it on his sister's table.
We are at a loss here. Last night even, he went to bed about three hours later than usual, had nothing to drink after a normal-timed dinner, and used the potty right before crawling in bed. And he still peed.
Any advice?
TL;DR: | Son has been wetting the bed consistently for past month, and nothing we do seems to work and we can't figure out why he's doing it. Please help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Long distance- Am I asking too much?(x-post from r/relationships)
POST: I am a 19 year old girl and I live in Minnesota but go to school in Wisconsin. Last semester I met a guy, and we really hit it off. But at the end of the semester he decided to transfer back to his home state California.
Ever since we call and text each other constantly. We skype every night, and sometimes even fall asleep together and wake up and skype some more. I am seriously falling for this guy. He says he is falling for me too. I want to be able to call him my boyfriend at the end of the day. I don't see anyone else when I'm with him.
We have talks of visiting each other but no set plans yet, just that he's coming this summer and I'll go when I have the money.
He says that he can't call me his girlfriend because of the distance and he wants me to keep my options open and he wants to keep his open too, even though he says that he can't think of being with anyone else but me.
Is it too much to ask for commitment? I'm committed and he says he is too, so wouldn't that be enough to be able to call each other boyfriend and girlfriend?
TL;DR: | If we are both saying we're committed to one another, is it too much to ask to be able to call each other boyfriend and girlfriend even though we're far away from each other? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: In a relationship with a great guy, but I'm erratically insecure.
POST: We're both in our early twenties and have been dating for a few months. I've always had problems with paranoia/insecurity in my relationships. My boyfriend is someone who's generally warm and gregarious when it comes to people. We've had a few brief hiccups regarding my insecurities about other girls, but were able to move on from those rationally. He's been patient, accepting, and reassures me of how much he loves me each time.
The one issue that I still can't shake or resolve, however, is with his ex-girlfriend. They dated for two years at the end of high school and beginning of college before breaking up due to distance. They've been broken up for more than two years now. The problem is that they still consider each other one of their best friends and stay in contact regularly. He's planning on taking a road trip over the summer, one of the purposes of which is to see her. He's said that if they were ever in the same city and both single that he wouldn't be against dating her again. He's also admitted before that it's sometimes difficult to not have feelings for her given their continued closeness, but that he's capable of compartmentalizing those emotions and that the person he's dating would always take priority.
I've talked to him about this before and explained why I feel threatened by her. He maintains that they've both moved on and that even if they did end up in the same city that he would still love me and continue to be with me, and that she's incapable of stealing his heart from me. He treats me like a princess and is madly in love with me, yet a part of me is persistently worried that I'm only a placeholder until he can be with the love of his life again. Rationally, I feel like this is probably silly, given that at this point we've shared things with each other that neither has shared with anyone before, and I should only expect us to grow closer and for that to assuage my fears. But is there anything I can do in the meantime? I hate always being so insecure, and I know it makes him sad each time it becomes apparent that I don't fully believe how much he says he loves me.
TL;DR: | Insecure generally, but especially about boyfriend's gorgeous and brilliant ex-girlfriend who he's still very close with. Need advice on how to cope. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Boyfriend [22M] has suddenly become with drawn from me [22F]
POST: My boyfriend and I have seen each other almost daily since we started dating two years ago. We spend most nights together, and usually eat dinner together.
Recently, he suggested we move in together for the summer since we will be interning at the same office. I was a hesitant because I don't really feel ready for that, but eventually agreed. About a week later, he goes off on me about how he thinks moving in together is a terrible idea and how we aren't ready for it and how he doesn't know why I would suggest it (it wasn't my idea, in fact I was feeling very apprehensive about it and had told him that already).
We talked it out, and things seemed to be back to normal for a few days. But now, he's completely avoiding and ignoring me. It's been two weeks, and he hasn't attempted to initiate any conversation or contact, and he actively avoids talking to me. He has come by my place about twice a week for the past three weeks for dinner (which is weird for us, because we usually rotate between our apartments and spend every night together). When he comes over, he acts like his usual self, laughing, talking and being super sweet, except for one thing: sex. We normally have sex at least once a day, usually initiated by him. Now, he will push me off if I try and gets irritated. I'm feeling very hurt and unsure of whats going on, since this flip seemed to happen over night.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend suggested we move in, changed his mind and blamed me, now he's avoiding me, but acting super nice when he does see me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [M33] think she [F33] pumped the brakes hard after I revealed I don't have a car
POST: Met a girl at a bar a couple weeks ago and we really hit it off. Went on our first date last weekend and had a really good time, I slept over at her place. It's been awhile honestly since a girl has shown this much interest in me. From the beginning she revealed how attracted to me she was and how much she liked talking to me. I also enjoy talking to her and she's quite attractive. Seemed like it could be a fun thing for awhile at least. We even setup a second date this weekend, no problems up until that point. We would text every few days and the convos would go on for a long time and when it ended she'd sign off, basically. "Hey, gotta go to bed! Looking forward to seeing you!" etc etc.
But this week I told her that I didn't drive or have a car and she pretty much slowed down the texts to a crawl but not canceling the date. I asked if she wanted to go to a certain restaurant and she said "Let's keep it casual and get drinks." I haven't yet told her that the reason I don't have a car is because I was in an accident and felt that I was going to die, so I stopped driving for awhile and eventually felt it just worked better for me not to drive.
The thing is, I kind of just want to cancel the date. If she's already pulling away, I don't want to waste my time and go on an awkward date. It's not a big deal either because it's only been two weeks and one date (even if we did sleep together) but it's just really bugging me. I feel offended. Am I overreacting though? Should I go and have a drink and whatever whatever or is it gonna be awkward because I'm clearly making it awkward?
TL;DR: | Revealed I didn't have a car before second date, she went cold, now I don't want to even talk to her again but maybe I'm overreacting. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Update: There is a football game at my (20/M) university on Friday. Is going there a good way to make friends?
POST: So apparently football games are on Saturday not friday...
I got that wrong. I found out because I heard a lot of music coming from outside and I followed the music today...
I think I found all the tailgate parties...and it didn't really turn out well. I just got back.
So I followed the music to the parking lot and when I got there it was...very loud music that kind of made my head hurt. There were a bunch of people standing around drinking and talking to each other but I didn't know anyone and everyone was in like their own groups and I didn't want to bother anyone. I was very confused on what to do and just sat around until the music started to make my head hurt and then as my head hurt more I got nervous because of all the people even though no-one talked to me.
So I came back to my room...I can still hear the music though it's really loud...I have to study for calculus anyway.
TL;DR: | I went to tailgate and stood around for a bit and then left. I'm not going to the game if its like that. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Traditional IRA over Roth IRA contributions to get into lower tax bracket, are they worth it?
POST: I just recently realized that I am close to the line between the 15% and the 25% tax brackets for 2012. I am contributing to my 401k up to my employer's maximum match, and I'm on track to max out my $5k of IRA space for 2012 by April.
I've already contributed about $2k to my Roth IRA, and I was planning on putting the whole $5k for 2012 in Roth. But when I prepared my federal taxes, I realized that if I put the remaining $3k of IRA contributions into a traditional, the tax deduction would get me into the 15% bracket and save me about $700 in taxes this year.
Does the lowered tax bracket now make the tax-deferred Traditional IRA contributions more desirable than the tax-free growth of Roth contributions?
Another concern of mine is that I hope to get raises over the course of my career, and may want to use the 'backdoor Roth' in the future. Will the backdoor be problematic if I already have a Traditional IRA?
If I had realized this last year, I would have just increased my 401k contributions to get into the lower bracket, but it's too late for that now.
TL;DR: | If I can make a Traditional IRA contribution to get into a lower tax backet and save $700 in taxes, is it worth it, or should I stick to Roth contributions? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What is the craziest thing you have heard someone do after a night of drinking then "going to sleep." I'll start.
POST: So I went on a date with this girl on Sunday. We go to a museum then a nice dinner and then after dinner drinks. The girl proceeds to get HAMMERED (1 margarita, 2 bourbons, 2 white wines 3 vodka martinis, 1 beer). We go back to my place where I offer my bed because I am such a gentlemen. She then says she wants to go home so I escort her to get a cab. Once a cab comes (20 mins later) she decides that she actually wants to stay. I allow this to transpire. We got to bed (where she takes me favorite pillow and my side of the bed) and we fall asleep around midnight.
The next thing I know my phone is ringing and I see an unknown number around 3:30am. I answer it to find it is the girl (who is now not in bed with me). She explains that she is home and has lost all of her things, including and not limited to, her purse, SHOES, Cell phone and Jacket. I offer to drop off her things in the morning so we set a time and a place.
After providing her with her estranged belongings she sheepishly informs me that she needs to tell me something and I must not judge her.
She remvoes a jacket from her bag and proceeds to explain to me that in her drunken stupor she left my apartment and into one of my neighbor's, steals a jacket, wallet AND shoes. Then uses this money to get home. Now I am left with having to return these items to a neighbors and she has no clue which one (still trying to figure this one out, there is about $200 in the wallet).
TL;DR: | Date got really drunk, lost her purse and stuff then burglarizes my neighbor to get home and doesn't remember doing it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What's your worst experience with road rage?
POST: So I was returning to school after Thanksgiving break when I was stuck behind a red minivan. He was going about 12mph slower than I and 75% of other people drive. So when we came to a passing lane I was going to pass him, but he stayed in the left lane. Now I know it's not SOP, but he wasn't moving over, so I passed him on the right.
Right away, he pulls right on my ass and stays there, and then as the 2 lanes are merging together again he flies up to my right and tries to force me into oncoming traffic.
He then proceeds to ride my ass 20 more miles until I turn, where he mockingly waves and proceeds to follow me. I decide enough is enough and floor it, passing the two cars in front of me to try and lose him. (Incidentally, as I was doing this, going about 88mph, I pass a cop... somehow I didn't get pulled over for doing 33 over, THANK GOD)
Anyway, he follows me for the next 100 miles, always passing people right behind me, often cutting people off and putting himself and other drivers in danger quite often. He once again tried to kill me when I passed another car; he zoomed out behind me, and cut back into the lane in front of the car I was passing before I did, and sped up to try and keep me out of the lane. I had to floor it and get to about 90 before I could get in front of him. Narrowly missed a head-on collision with oncoming traffic.
I finally lost him once we got to a town with some traffic lights; I snagged the tail end of a yellow light and zipped into a parking lot. I will say I did not deviate from my typical driving habits, with the exception of the first attempt where I saw the cop and nearly got busted. I know he was following me because he made every turn I did, and wouldn't pass me when I slowed way down. He also did a crazy, taunting wave every time we were stopped or slowed down. I didn't stop anywhere since I decided I wanted to avoid a confrontation and unnecessary conflict.
TL;DR: | I passed a guy, he recklessly tailgated me for over 120 miles and tried to force me into oncoming traffic twice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Hello RA, I turn to you today...
POST: Hello Relationship Advice, I have been lurking Reddit for ages but I have never had anything worth sharing anywhere. The reason I turn to you is because at this istant I'm drowning in self pity.
Background:
I live in a mining town far away from major cities, my previous relationship collapsed due to the distance element, but the job is too good to give up and returning home was not an option. I recovered from that shitty break up, it was painful since I had to choose between a promising career or the girl I loved and lived with for the last 5 years, and met another girl at work. The girl from work is not like anyone I've met before, I was (I am) smitten, so I told her how I felt, she reciprocated. Subsequently we went on several dates, had multiple make out sessions and it was flipping awesome.
The Problem:
Last night I was ready to ask her is she'd like to be part of my life as my gf. So I did, she said I didn't know her enough to be asking her that, then proceded to make out with another dude right in from of me. Needless to say I was ( I am) crushed.
Advice?
Do I still pursue her? do I just get over it and re instate the fact that I'm crazy about her? Do I stop being such a retard and move the fuck on?
Thanks for reading,
TL;DR: | I like a girl, girl says she likes me back, everything is going well, I ask her to be my gf, she makes out with another dude, my jimmies get rustled. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Need help on something-over-utp display problem
POST: Hello fine gentlemen and ladies of reddit, I need some help with the following problem:
For my local sportsclub I set up a pc with a hdmi-over-utp device to some bigAss" tv. This worked great, but after a few days the device just stopped working (turns out after a reboot). I bought a new hdmi-over-utp device from another creator (they are actually quite expensive), but this didn't fix my problem. I still could not boot the machine and have hdmi-over-utp working.
After a while I found out that the hdmi-over-utp only worked when I first booted the pc with a direct hdmi device. Of course, this is of no use to me. I am not sure if it's a basic problem of hdmi-over-utp, or that it's just a stupid error in my version.
So now, I can boot it up bringing my own tv to the building, booting it with a hdmi direct cable, then after it booted, switch the hdmi cable into the hdmi-over-utp box.
So this is a temp fix for now, but i do have a problem, since I don't live near the place, and sooner or later some bloke will reboot my machine.
I hope to keep the hdmi, since it's such a bigAss" tv, but the machine is already rebooted 3 times, and I really just want it to work. I am even willing on downgrading to a vga-over-utp (I was initially trying to get this thread going on about my best options for that).
(btw: I have tried all settings in windows which i could find, and i can't seem to get it to work in current setup. I think the hdmi-over-utp box doesn't send out the initial tv-hdmi signals, so the pc can't understand what kind of screen is connected. I noticed that once I used my own tv to boot it, the bigAss" tv resolution settings on windows was limited to my own tv's resolutions)
TL;DR: | can't get hdmi-over-utp to work. Need info on what you think my options are. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: I have traffic court tomorrow to pay a ticket. I'm not sure if i should plead not guilty
POST: I'm from New Orleans Louisiana. A month ago I got into an accident. The person infront of me came to an abrupt stop and I couldn't stop in time. I was a good distance away and I feel like it was my old cars crappy breaks that couldn't stop in time. I ended up hittting the other persons car and breaking their back windsheild, but not much else. was charged with failure to yeild and driving to close. I know I followed my drivers ed rule (always drive at least 2 whole seconds away from a car) but I was charged with driving to close. The ticket is $445 which isn't that bad but I'm 19 and can't really make that right now.
So is it worth it to plead not guilty or should I just ask for a payment plan or get a loan?
TL;DR: | Got into an accident because my old car couldn't handle being break checked. Charged with driving to close and faliure to yeild. Should I plead not guilty? Do they allow me an extension? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20M] want to date my FWB [18F] but there's a problem
POST: 2 weeks into knowing and having consistent sex/hanging out with my FWB [18F], I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said she didn't want a boyfriend. I thought it would end then but has only got better and have now been seeing her for over 4 months with very little being said about the idea since. I am having problems with the idea of her fucking other guys (haven't asked so can't confirm she has).
Not sure if I should bring it up again and give her an ultimatum or just continue as we are and hope she changes her mind. Any advice is really appreciated, thanks!
TL;DR: | Asked FWB out 2 weeks into knowing her, got denied, 4 months later and we're still seeing each other but not officially together, should I give an ultimatum or stop being a little bitch? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23 M] am dating this amazing girl [22 F] for a little over a month but she is moving a little less than 2 hours away for work
POST: Hi Reddit, so a little bit of background. I have known this girl for about 2 years now, and last semester we started working together. We are both graduate students, she is graduating this semester; I still have 2 semesters left. (Can also graduate in 1 semester if I get a job for spring.)
A month and a bit ago we started dating and we have both fallen for each other. We are very busy during the week since she is taking classes, student teaching (she is studying education) and working 16 hours a week with me as a graduate assistant. I am also a graduate assistant but we have no shifts together this semester and the only times we can see each other are Thursday nights sometimes Fridays and over the weekends.
Our relationship is going very well and we really love each other. Now, the sad part is, she is graduating in May and most likely getting a job about 2 hours away from where I am. She wants to make it work, as do I, but I have anxiety about this long distance relationship (I know it is not terribly far); Even during the times I don't see her I sometimes get anxious. I really love this girl and I don't know what actions to take. We text each other daily and always tell each other good morning/goodnight and always talk about our day. I am scared that once she moves, I won't always be able to be there when things get tough for her, as she won't be able to be there for me, and she might try to find consolation in another guy.
TL;DR: | Am dating this amazing girl that is graduating this semester. I still have 1 or 2 semester left and she is moving about 2 hours away for work. We both want to make it work but I have anxiety about the future. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My brother [29 M] is getting married [26 F] this fall. They strongly disagree on having children. Should I talk to them?
POST: My brother is marrying his long-term girlfriend (they have been together for 10 years). They are very close, and for the past eight years they have shared house, car, dog and friends. It is very difficult for me (and them) to picture their lives apart at this point.
Knowing both of them pretty well, I see a problem in that they strongly disagree on the subject of having children. My brother is adamantly opposed to the point of actually believing that everyone who has children regret it (and lie to themselves and others about the "special magic bond of happiness" that appears between parent and child), while his fiancee appears to think children are the only path to happiness in life. Obviously both expect the other person to change their mind as soon as they are married, and just as obviously (to me), they are not going to. They have talked about it, and always end up agreeing to disagree ... Which I think is just agreeing to continue trying to convince the other that having a child / not having a child is the obvious best choice for both of them.
Now, I don't want to be the person to potentially break up a marriage before it happens by pointing out this fact to them. I know I don't have privileged access to the "truth" of their relationship, being an outsider, and that I shouldn't make assumptions on their behalf. But I also feel I have a bit of an obligation, particularly towards my brother, to help him reflect on this issue a bit more thoroughly.
I think the main problem is that they have very much "grown together", and that separating seems an impossibly large change in their lives. They are constantly bickering and, to me, seem less than happy most of the time.
I would very much appreciate input on how to be a good brother in this case, and how to support my brother if their relationship should fail. -My- main problem is probably that I think I know best. It's their lives, so perhaps I should just smile, congratulate them and let them work it out?
TL;DR: | Brother thinks babies are the antichrist incarnate, his fiancee think they represent ultimate happiness. They both believe the other will change their mind. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Stupidly read some of my boyfriend's journal
POST: So my boyfriend of a year (24m) left his journal at my (22f) house and I peeked.
Big, big mistake. I know I betrayed his trust and feel absolutely horrible. I knew it was a mistake from 3 pages in and forced myself to shut it, and leave it.
Those three pages were absolutely horrible. How he feels I'm a burden, and my parents really "fucked me up". How my depression was like a physical weight on him and how I'm so smart but never have any idea what I'm talking about. How he's been having doubts for months, and feels obligated to me.
The whole of those three pages, three separate entries from months apart, were ripping me a new one. Not in a "it's been a bad day and I'm venting", but true and honest analysis of every negative trait I ever even suspected I had.
Now, two dilemmas. First, the moral dilemma. I did this to myself, put myself in this situation the second I opened that cover. Do I even have the right to be hurt?
Second, I had not even an inkling of any of these "doubts" of his. He has not communicated, or even HINTED at anything being wrong. He is introverted and self-sufficient and isn't very good at expression, but these seemed to be major obstacles and I wish he would tell me them.
What do I do?
TL;DR: | Read part of boyfriend's journal, consistent negative entries beyond "she was kind of a bitch today". Had no idea anything was wrong, feel awful about the whole situation. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Do people still ask a girl's dad before popping the question? What if he says no?
POST: My girlfriend and I have been talking about marriage a lot lately.
She wants me to ask her dad before I ask her.
I hate to say it, but that whole thing sounds incredibly archaic to me.
I feel like, if I have to ask permission from someone who's decision this is not:
* What kind of respectable man am I?
* How many acres of land and/or cattle do I offer him?
When we talked about it, I asked her why she wants me to do this so badly. She said she doesn't know, It's just tradition, and that she'll say no if I ask her without having asked daddy.
I would feel stupid asking him considering I barely even know the man. (His choice, not mine. He is very racist.)
Should I let the prejudice of a man I hardly know decide the path of my life? (and that of a grown woman?)
TL;DR: | Girlfriend wants me to ask her dad before asking her to marry me. Dad is white/racist, I am mulatto. What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27 M] with my gf [24 F] She's preggers with ex's baby from before we met...
POST: She recently broke up with her husband because he was cheating on her for 4 years, we met and became friends before he admitted this and began a relationship after. The other woman exposed him to HIV. She thought she got an HIV + result on a test but turns out she's preggers and the HIV result was actually negative. She hates him and told me she was getting an abortion today. Instead she talked to her mom and decided to keep it and move to Atlanta ( I live in Los Angeles.) I love her verrrrry much, she is perfect for and she has enough finances to care for the baby without me. Am I crazy if I stay with her? Does anyone have experience with a new relationship with a pregnant woman and one raising an infant? What about raising someone elses baby? Does anyone have any thoughts?
TL;DR: | Started a relationship with a woman after she left her husband for cheating; now she found out she's preggers with his child. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Females of Reddit: Did you feel that having a kid ruined your life and body or is it a worthwhile risk?
POST: (Throwaway Account) I am just wondering because my childbearing years are fast coming to an end and I never got the "baby fever" that I've seen all my friends go through. But in reality, even my younger cousin is settling down and making babies. She's 6 years younger.
In my 20s, I thought to myself, "How lucky I am not having kids. I can do what I want, I can travel (and I did), and I have plenty of time." Now I'm starting to wonder if I messed up. I am married to a guy who wants to have kids, and I thought I did too, but I'm not sure if it is worth all the horrible changes that will come with it. It seems that the more I read about having kids, the less appealing any of it sounds. My research has left me with the impression is that you lose control of your body, there are tons of risks for you and the baby, and potentially your relationship and sex life are ruined. Not to mention the expenses associated with raising the kid.
So I'm left wondering if it is really worth it in the end. I haven't maintained friendships with my female friends who had kids. Some were rude to me or criticized me for not being a mother. Others quit talking to me because we didn't have anything in common anymore. At this point, I have no female friends for a support system and it has been too long to just call them up and ask how they feel about having a family.
TL;DR: | I'm past my 20s, married, and wonder if having a baby is worth it. Are all the changes to your body and relationship worth it? Is it better to just live a comfortable life instead? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [18 M] girlfriend [16 F] wants me to wait for her until she can move on from her ex.
POST: I've known this girl for a year now. I always saw her as a potential girlfriend but being her friend was fine with me since she was with her boyfriend when we met. She broke it off with him a few months back after like 1.5-2 years together. She would always come to me about advice during their relationship and we grew really close. I asked her out three weeks ago and she agreed. Things were great, I could tell she was genuinely interested in me and I was falling for her more and more.
Then out of nowhere just a few days ago she told me that she still missed her ex. I know we're young and he was her first serious relationship so it would be hard for her to get over him. But I seriously thought I helped her move on. I'm hurt and have no idea what to do next. I still like her a lot but I feel like she's not attracted to me anymore. Her excuse for this was that her ex is clouding her mind and she needs some time to herself to get over her ex. Do I wait for her to move on or should I just move on now to avoid getting hurt later?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend still misses ex. Wants to take a break until she sorts her thoughts out. Not sure whether to wait for her in fear that she'll lose feelings for me or to move on now. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24F] can be really into someone in theory, but as soon as they show interest in return I panic and withdraw
POST: I've had a massive crush on this guy [28M] for over a year. We've been flirting, e-mailing, etc and it's been fine. I've fantasized about all kinds of scenarios, sexual and otherwise. I've thought about a relationship with him.
So, tonight in an e-mail he asked me to get coffee so we could "talk". It isn't even a date. It's not even a sign that he's into me. It's possible that it's nothing! But, the idea has me panicked. The thought of, I'm not sure, being tied to someone in any way makes me physically ill. Though, in theory, yesterday, that thought didn't upset me.
This has happened before. Lots. I can't explain it very well. I don't know what to do or what's wrong with me. Help?
TL;DR: | In theory I really like people, I want a relationship, I want it all! In practice, I panic and run away. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22F] with my husband [27M] of 3 years, and I never got to "sow my oats"..... Now I want to.
POST: First off, I love my husband. I'm not going to go into this, but I want it said.
I lost every virginity I had to my husband when we met when I was 19. Not because I was saving myself, just because he was the first guy to persistently try to go all the way. My husband, on the other hand, was a huge partier and has slept with many women. Long story short, what was a fling turned into a marriage and now we've been married 3 years.
And here I am. I go out with my friends frequently on the weekend and crave their single lifestyle. I got my sophomore year of college, so I never had a real college experience. I want to kiss strangers and experiment with girls and stay up until 4AM at some random guy's apartment. Lately, I've been flirting more and more because it's so fun, and last weekend, I got 2 guys numbers. We haven't done anything (just hang out in group settings), but I want to SO BAD that it's indescribable.
But I also don't want to disappoint my husband or leave him.
It's at the point where I just want to tell him and see how he reacts. He's brought up having an open relationship in the past jokingly, but I've heard countless times on here that now is not the time to do an open relationship.
So what can I do? You hear so often, 'your twenties is the time for you to really live'....'sow your wild oats'....'you'll most regret the things you *didn't* do'.... Help me not regret my youth.
TL;DR: | I was a virgin when I met my husband and now I have an overwhelming desire to experience being a single college girl (without losing my husband). |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30 M] with my Ex-Gf [30 F] 10 months, Began to Reestablish Friendship, Screwed it All Up Saturday UPDATE: She Responded and I did Screw it Up
POST: Here is a link to the [original post](
Basically I screwed a lot of stuff up on Saturday night and pushed my hand. Sent some apologies, she responded 48 hours later:
*It's okay, I was pretty mad but I'm over it. I'm also sorry. I don't think it would be a good idea for us to date again. I'm really not in the kind of place to date anyone right now. I really wasn't trying to make you jealous or hit on anyone in front of you or anything, I honestly could care less about any guy romantically right now ... I'm far too busy. I really don't want to hurt you, and it may have been selfish because I know how you feel but I just really like spending time with you, I have a lot of fun with you... With the exception of last time, for obvious reasons;)*
Me: *I don't think either of us are in a place to date right now, but I'm guessing you don't mean just right now. I understand. I have such a good time with you too. There's something there between us but the timing, once again, isn't right. Where do we go from here?*
Her: *I don't know, I guess we shouldn't do anything, just try and keep in contact and not kill each other while we get our shit together?*
Me: *I just laughed out loud in the library. That sounds fair to me. Don't be a stranger. Good luck with your exams :)*
Her: *Haha:) thanks!! I'll be really stoked when this week is over
TL;DR: | Established friendship with ex, got drunk at her place of work (bar) and got jealous. Left, texted apologies. She just responded. Question answered - Yes I did screw things up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I (23F) overcome rumors about my past with a particular person (33M)?
POST: So I have a 5 month (on and off) sexual history with a man I'll call Nick. Nick works at and co-runs an organization where I have many acquaintances due to a few-month-long volunteer stint there. I would like for them to be more than acquaintances though. No one there dislikes me, but I don't feel like any of them really know me. I take a while to come out of my shell and gain confidence around new people, but once I do, I am very well liked. The place is a hub of extremely intelligent and creative people. They work on new revolutionary and innovative projects - the goal of all of which being to help people in need. They are great role models and the place is a perfect example of the sort of thing I want to do with my life and the sort of people I want to surround myself with. The place also provides great networking and lots of potential to learn.
While it was fun and he and I are friends, I have no interest in maintaining any kind of sexual or romantic relationship with Nick. However, he is my main tie to the place and I don't exactly have any other business showing up there as of now. Also, it is unfortunately common knowledge among these people that he and I have a history. Which I admittedly am a bit embarrassed of. I want to spend time there and immerse myself in the organizational culture without there being any suspicion that I'm still involved with, or that I'm only there for Nick.
TL;DR: | I (23F) don't want to be romantically associated with someone (33M) I have a 5 month long sexual history with, but I'd like to associate myself with his place of work and his co workers. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24/F] with this guy I've been seeing [28/M]- better to confront him and ask what happened or just ignore and move on?
POST: So I've been talking to this guy for a while now and we've been on a few dates. The other day I went to his place and we had sex. I thought everything went great and I texted him a few days later saying that I had a great time the other day but he never responded. Now I know he just wants sex but I am so mad at myself and mad at him. I keep thinking about how stupid I was. I have all these feelings that I need to get out. Would it be better to message him in a few days saying what's on my mind and if I could have an explanation or to just ignore him and cut off all contact to move on? Thanks in advance!
TL;DR: | Had sex with a guy I was seeing, has not responded to me or contacted me after. Should I confront him or ignore the situation? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me 25/F with my Ex 27 M 3 Years, Broke up and heartbroken.
POST: So this is your generic break up post. We were been going out 3 years on and off (he broke up with me twice, once for 1 month and then for 3 months). We reconnected after a night out. We moved in together January 2015. Before this we were actually doing well.
On to the break up. Things had been tense for a long time. The fights were lasting longer, up to 3 days with him leaving the house and me having no way to contact him (he would straight out ignore me). We never seemed to be able to resolve anything and went to a couples counselor. Despite our best efforts things completely disintegrated at Christmas. After a particularly bad fight on the 26th I had to move out. During this fight I was told he no longer cared for me and that I was a bad person (and my friends thought I was too). I moved straight out that day as I knew the cycle we were in (he would leave, come back after about 2 days but the fighting would still continue despite my best efforts). Things were really really bad but we tried. I tried my best but it never seemed good enough and he seemed to hate me by the end.
Here I am now about 6 weeks single and I still feel like absolute shit. I was fine at the start but now I am a mess. I miss him so so so much. I am convinced I am depressed at the moment. I know everyone goes through this and some people go through alot worse but I just cant get out of my own head. I am doing everything I can that is supposed to make me feel better and move on but it doesnt seem to be working. I miss him so so so much with every part of me and I know that is meant to happen.
This is someone I put so much love, time and care into. It kills me we can never be again. All I want is for him to reach out to me but deep in my heart I know he is happier without me. I just wish I could feel the same. I feel like I am in physical pain over.
TL;DR: | How do you move past someone that you loved with everything but had to end because the fight was too much. What made you feel better and how long do I have to wait to feel human again. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I just used super magic hearing... Reddit,when do you feel you have superpowers?
POST: I was lying in bed just now and could every so often hear a pair of *plink* noises. I'd been doing some alcohol, however little, recently as well, so I figured maybe I was making them up. They persisted ever so faintly again about five minutes later so I got up to investigate. I opened my bedroom door and they grew louder. So I went down the stairs through the corridor and into the kitchen where I found the sink dripping ever so slightly onto a spoon. That's what was making the noise. I felt like fucking Daredevil.
When do you feel like you've achieved something superhuman?
TL;DR: | I heard something that was making the tiniest noise through two doors and up a flight of stairs, and it made me feel awesome. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[21] Girlfriends[23] mother[40?] is very toxic and manipulative and I'm having a tough time handling it.
POST: I'm having a very tough time handling myself in this situation. We have been together for 2 years. My Girlfriends mother is very manipulative, and just overall has a toxic relationship with my girlfriend. She was oblivious at first and after a year and a half of sticking it through with her, I have finally showed her how horrible her mother is. In jest my girlfriend has been supporting her mother and brother (he hasnt help at all and contributes to the drama) since she was 14, working full time and going to school. Her mother says horrible things to her all the time and is always trying to ruin our relationship by plots and schemes to break us up. Really I swear this is out of a movie its so unreal and frustrating.
I finally helped her get the bravery to move out of state with me and start our life. But guess who followed and lives down the street... She doesn't give us or respect our space. The recent deal is we adopted a puppy and they wanted to see it. I work early and she gets home around 9 so we are always to tired for company. When we said no to the visit, she became toxic and sent her rude texts. When she couldn't go to church this morning for Easter (because she had to work) they met her at her work and gave her grief for it and has her all frustrated this morning.
I realllly want to help her get through this, but I dont know how to react. I was getting better by telling her mom no, its not a good time, but we are going over tonight for Easter dinner and I dont know what to do. Her mom is saying I'm dictating her life and I'm not welcomed, and her moms boyfriends wants to have some man talk with me. I really want to put my foot down and be a man and say no, we dont need you in our lives and you dont respect us. But I'm not sure how to do that tonight.My legs tremble and I get stupid nervous thinking about it. I really just need help, and suggestions of what to do.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend is in a toxic relationship with her mother, but doesnt have the strength to keep going, how can I be the man she deserves and defend her honor? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My apartment was just robbed. What are the chances they will be caught?
POST: Last night I came home at about one in the morning drunk and fell asleep. At three in the morning I was woken up by one of my roommates which had just gotten home. He was freaking out because out TV was missing.
We went through the apartment and could only find that the TV and my other roommates laptop were missing. We called the cops and filed a report.
This morning I find out that they also took my roommates iPod, $100 cash, and debit card and have been using it around town. We told the cops and are in the process of giving them the bank information/sales that were made.
The robbers used the card at a couple fast food places and two gas stations, both for gas purchases so I assume there would be a license plate caught on camera.
What are the chances that they will actually be caught?
TL;DR: | Got robbed in my sleep and they stole and used my roommates debit card at various locations. How likely is it they will be found? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU and watched 'Gone Girl' high. The same day my ex girlfriend of two years contacts me!.
POST: So TIFU, by getting really high and going to watch 'Gone Girl'. This movie creeped me out, send me into a bad wig! anxiety is kicking in. So out of the blue my Ex GF of 1 year messages me today, asking to come over and see her new dog. my thoughts are to just be polite and kindly decline any offer to go catch up.. soo that happens the conversation eventually comes to a stagnate point... later on in the day im told gone girl is an amazing film i have no idea whats it about, and rufused to watch the trailer (they give away the whole story/plot or funny lines) Long story short I just came out of the cinema 2.5 hours later, high scared out of my mind that my ex gf is a lunatic, who is trying to mind fuck me..!! this is bad!
TL;DR: | Ex Gf messaged me in the morning out of the blue (1year ex) - went to see gone girl and got really high... freaking out, im going to die/my ex if trying to mind fuck me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Old boss is purposely not filling out my unemployment papers. What do?
POST: So basically a few weeks ago I got fired from my job at a pizza shop. A friend of mine that I worked with got fired a week before me for stealing from the store. He stole about three hundred dollars over the course of four or five months. Regardless of that fool the next week after a shift my boss sat my down and told me I was fired because basically I was friends with the thief and they felt "a lot of animosity" from me in the past, and they weren't comfortable keeping me. I asked him to cite specifics but he would give me a bunch of rigamarole. Afterwards he specifically told me if you need unemployment that is fine as well as if anyone asked if he thought I was stealing he would say no way(He's a very monotone guy but he made those two things very clear). I got a call from my unemployment representative the other day saying that my boss said I was fired for suspicion of stealing. So that really sucked but I found out last night from an inside source that he is purposely not signing my papers. Or signing some but not all of them. What can I do about this? I'm not sure how to approach it because it's a friend who works with my boss who gave me the inside info about him dodging my papers. I'm very close to being completely broke and I'm not sure how to get this fucker to do his shit.
TL;DR: | Old boss specifically told me he didn't think I was stealing and I could get unemployment. Told unemployment dude I was suspected of stealing and is purposely not filling out my paper work. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Can I log into someone's email to remove their use of my address as their backup contact?
POST: Someone is using my wife's email address as their Yahoo mail backup contact address. It is of the form firstname@firstname.org. We occasionally get password change notifications because of it.
Am I legally allowed to log into their account, using the 'forgot password' option, and remove it myself? After all, we 100% own our email address and they choose to use it. Yahoo requires me to replace it with another backup email, so I'd have to make one up (bad idea) or set up a free throwaway account somewhere and use that. I'm nervous about doing that in particular.
I've asked abuse@yahoo.com to remove it ages ago, and they said they did, but it's still in use. I would have emailed the user himself but if he ignored me, or said no, and I fix it myself, I don't want retribution against my wife since he obviously will know who did it...
TL;DR: | Is it legal to log into someone's email account to remove their mistaken use of my own address as their backup email? May result in them being blocked out of their account. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By calling my adopted friend an Orphan
POST: ----- = her name
++++ = my name
In College class, I have this very pretty latina with such a great body, great personality, and beautiful eyes.
[How I kind of felt with talking to her or being in her presence]
(
This girl is really cute, hazel eyes, goody two shoes, and smart. She is adopted (age 19), and still lives with her parents for the time being before going to graduate school. Anyways, we were in the class we have together and her friend is like "oooo ---- is checking you out!" and I am like "oh well then you are pretty pervy aren't ya -----". ----- says "No i am not! ++++, I wouldn't check out a guy like you! I have higher standards than that"
*I thought at this point, shit i got rekt first time i have heard you talk back after all i had this kind of mean talk-back personality with her, not good i feel like a jerk*
I reply with "Oh its okay, I didn't like you anyways", this is when the^mess^up^begins
I still hate myself internally for it.
I literally see some sort of hurt emotion or anger in her eye. ----- says "what? what is your problem, that was not even apart of the conversation!" and I respond with "No I like you! But not as in we relationship wise", ----- says "Oh okay, I understand I do not like you either, you are lame anyways loser!" and she smiles.
I reply with "Same, I do not like orphans".... I do not know why this came out honestly; I just remember recalling orphan jokes that i thought were funny on /r/meanjokes... and jesus I feel a total jerk. She does not talk to me anymore, but sometimes smiles to me. I am pretty sure she is sad about that, but not only did I mess up, I am positive that I cockblocked myself too. She hangs out with her friends, but i know i have to apologize.
TL;DR: | Told hot adopted girl I don't like orphans because of mean jokes that I recalled during class. Now she will not talk to me at all. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [32F] have a relationship with a [25M] man for 5 months. I can't help but feel guilty about it.
POST: First of all, sorry about my english.
I got married when I was 28, but got a divorce 2 years ago. Luckily we had no children, and I don't feel bad about that anymore.
Some months ago, I met a senior female coworker's son, who is 7 years younger than me (he's 25). We talked for a few weeks, and I felt in love with him before I could realise, and we started a formal relationship 5 months ago.
He was so responsible and caring for his age, that sometimes I forgot he was younger than me. He makes me feel protected and loved like never before. I know I can look bad when I say so, but I have to confess that I crave his caresses, his kisses, I crave his eyes when he looks into my soul, his body holding mine. This is the first time I say that, nobody knows other than him.
I feel guilty about this. Her mother (my coworker) doesn't know about it, and I'm afraid of what she'll think when she finds out. We always met in his own appartment but she'll eventually know. He knows how I feel about, and he's comforting me and keeping it as a secret for me, telling that there's nothing wrong. I think he's right, and I know I'd never leave him for such a reason.
But I still feel guilty. I feel bad for enjoying sex with him so much. I'm afraid my neighbours think I'm a cougar or something like that, because I stay in shape and my bf is much younger than me. And sometimes I even think they're right too.
What would you think if you saw a woman my age with a younger man? Is that wrong in your opinion?
TL;DR: | I'm divorced, and currently in a secret relationship with a younger man. I love him, but I feel guilty. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: When I know a girl likes me (16M) I put defects on her... why?!
POST: It's something that makes me quite angry at myself... and I can't seem to find other explanation than me being dumb.
Once one of my girl (space) friends has officially admitted she likes me, the way I look at her changes. I start putting defects on her and try to avoid her, I'll go far enough to feel (I'm so stupid...) nasty about them, what the hell??
I'm 100% sure I'm straight, I do feel like I wouldn't be able to be on a relationship though. It takes too much time and all the messages and cuddling part doesn't feel good to me.
Could it be that when a girl I REALLY like likes me back, I'll get rid of that stupid trait?
Still, it's not cool to start putting defects on girls that are interested in you and I'd like to know if anyone relates and where the feelings come from.
Please, present me with a serious answer and respect the fact that this is how I feel in the situation, as idiot as it can seem...
TL;DR: | When I know a girl likes me I put defects on her and even feel uncomfortable with her, feeling like avoiding her presence. I'd like to know where that feeling comes from. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Should I become an Entrepreneur?
POST: In short I am confident I can get a good job in a graduate scheme in a bank/law firm or whatever (good grades, top university and good resume).
Everyone is telling me and its kind of expected that I just go and get a good well paying job somewhere, but I am not sure that is what I want. I think i have a lot of good ideas for some startups, I often find myself thinking of new ideas or developing these ones further when I am supposed to be working on other things.
A lot of my ideas require some heavy IT (which i have no experience in but i can hire for that right?) and I have obviously never run a business before but I kind of feel like i should try because I am sure if I don't do these ideas they will definitely be around in 5 years time through someone else and i'll regret it.
So basically wondering has anyone else taken this decision to stay away from the regular job route and start a company - would you reccommend it? Is it too young to start my own company with no business knowledge? Should i just stick with the normal, secure route of a corporate job in a big company? Is it possible to do both, or will having an actualy job just result in a failed start-up?
TL;DR: | Could go the corporate route and get a nice high paying secure job or should I start a company with no real business experience or expertise, just good ideas. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 F] with my fiance [25 M] together 3 yrs, how do we pull off multiple international weddings?
POST: Hey hey! Me and my awesome fiance are getting married next month (yay! exciting!) but since we're international, it will be one of two (or possibly even 3) weddings.
This wedding is primarily for us—to keep us together legally in the same country. The timing is right now, we're jazzed about it, etc. Only my mom, dad and siblings are attending because we want it to be private. We don't have the time or money to arrange a big wedding with tons of friends and family at the moment, but this is something we'd like to do down the road.
So, we're going to dress up all weddingy for this wedding, take pictures, probably update the Facebook, yada yada. And we're sending out emails/messages to all friends and family saying, "hey, we're getting married on X date privately. Stay tuned for details on a larger celebration for our family and friends!"
I know this is not the traditional route to go and I'm a bit nervous right now.
Is that enough? Will people understand what we're doing and be supportive? Does it seem like all the specialness of the occasion will be gone because we'll have already been legally married for a year when we do our bigger wedding?
Does it seem self-indulgent or extravagant to have another wedding after we've already gotten dressed up, gotten married and taken pictures once?
I'd love some thoughts on this!
TL;DR: | Getting married on short notice for visa reasons (we've been engaged for 7 mo and are totally psyched to do this!) now wondering how people will take the idea of another wedding next year. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by losing my company's car keys on a farm
POST: Background: I work as a farm broadcaster at a radio station in middle of nowhere Wisconsin. Each month, we interview a farmer for the "Farm of the Month" segment we broadcast. I drove out today to this farm about 20 miles out from the station with the station vehicle. The farmer and I walked around the farm while we did the interview. He showed me all the stables, milkhouses, farm stuff, etc. We did a lot of walking around. We finished the interview and I get ready to get into the car and go. Check my pockets. No keys.
I look around the farm and everywhere we walked around and no luck. Apparently, the one spare key my boss has is nowhere to be found and we have to get a new one made from the dealer. So I walked around this farm in every place imaginable for about two hours until a coworker finally had the decency to pick me up. So now our station is getting some good advertising from this farmer on this random country road until we pick up the new key and car tomorrow.
TL;DR: | Drove out to interview a farmer with company car. Lost car keys. Now a farmer has a free station car. Keys may be currently being digested in the 5th stomach of a cow. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27F] with my boyfriend [27M] of 6 weeks just broke up. I didn't see it coming. Help?
POST: I have been in a relationship with my (now ex)-boyfriend for 6 weeks. Last night he broke up with me, it was very unexpected. The previous night we bumped into his friend in the supermarket and he didn't introduce me. When I asked him who his friend was, he explained it was a childhood friend and he didn't introduce me since it was a quick conversation. We had just been to a party. He was acting a bit off. All of the other couples were being affectionate and he wasn't. His body language was closed off and part way through the night he moved to the other side of the room.
When we were walking home I asked him about it, in a light hearted manner. I just said "Are you not into public displays of affection?" since this was our first time out in a group setting as a couple. We got to his place. And he's in the kitchen, and he's staring out of the window, I asked him what was wrong and he said for the last week he has wanted to be alone. He wants more space and freedom. He doesn't like people knowing what he's doing, where he's going. We meet up 2-3 evenings a week, so I didn't think I was demanding too much attention. He said he broke up with his previous girlfriend because he just prefers being alone and doesn't see himself being with anyone. He wants to break up. It's not working for him. He promises there is no one else.
This is just out of the blue for me, with only the not introducing me part being my only indicator until the party. I know the relationship wasn't long, but I really liked him and thought it was going places. It felt to me like we had something special. I feel like a bus has hit me. Reddit please advice me how to handle the situation. How do move on when you get an unexpected break up? I work in the same building as him and have to attend the same meetings as him.
He has been rather cold about the situation and I just can't stop crying. I feel like I really misjudged him, my feelings and feel like I've been lied to.
TL;DR: | Thought my new relationship was going well, felt special, he breaks up with me and is being cold about everything. Have to work in the same building. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [M21] best friend [F21] of 4 years and I had a fight about how I go too far and cross lines.
POST: So, lately my best friend has been getting upset over things I say that she feels are "inappropriate" or embarrassing. Apparently I say these kinds of things a lot, but she's the only person that has ever said anything to me about it. None of my other friends seem to think that I do this. There have been a couple of times where I said something and immediately regretted it because I knew it went to far. But for the most part, I don't see how what I say offends her. And, even when I've asked her to, she doesn't clearly lay out what bugs her so I can avoid it, because I love her and don't want to say anything that hurts her. And this has really only started in the last 6 months. It never seemed to happen before.
How can I know what topics are going to bug her? And how can I teach myself to filter what I'm saying? I feel like I'm losing my best friend over this and it's really making me upset and afraid.
TL;DR: | Friend and I are fighting over apparently embarrassing/offensive things I say but I don't see how they are offensive or embarrassing and she won't tell me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Any generous/ informed Loseit members willing to help out a Binge Eater in her efforts to reform?
POST: I have been dealing with binge eating for as long as I can remember. In the past few months, it has really begun to flare up, and I am feeling more out of control than ever. I am wondering what it will take to change me now that at least 2 out of every 3 days I have an episode that has to be detrimental to my weight and health. I am 18 and female, with a normal BMI (but rapidly gaining weight). It would change my life for someone to help me in my journey out of this. If anyone knows of any healthy diet plans, ways to get help without consuming massive amounts of time, or ways to influence myself away from this problem psychologically, I will appreciate it greatly.
TL;DR: | If you're up to it, please help a binge eater that is in too deep. The help would be seriously appreciated. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Need help asking for money...
POST: I'm going to start this off by saying that I'm a college student. Not just any college student, but one that is currently broke. Now, onto the story...
A few days ago one of my fraternity brothers and I were around our stereo, enjoying some music coming from my iPad. My brother grabs the iPad to change the music, changes the music and then accidentally drops the iPad onto the concrete floor, which causes some bad cracking on the bezel and noticeable cracking n the screen. He offered to pay for it, and I accepted, but neither of us really knew how much an iPad replacement cost. I looked it up and it's around $250... How should I go about bringing up that subject in a way that doesn't make me look like some kind of asshole?
Keep in mind that, previous to this, my iPad was in perfect condition.
TL;DR: | Friend drops my iPad and breaks it. Says he'll pay for it, expecting it to be $170-200 less than he expected. How do I go about asking him for $250 without being seen as a whiny ass? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (27m) desire to have sex with my gf (23f) has significantly decreased despite an otherwise happy relationship.
POST: My girlfriend and I have been together for over two years. We live about an hour and a half away from each other but I often travel to visit her for weekends or when I am in town for work (my company has an office in her city as well as where I live) and she regularly comes to visit me when she has time off from the college she attends.
We have, in my opinion, a very healthy and positive relationship. It's not perfect, but we have only ever had one real fight (as in verbal, not physical) and when we do have disagreements, they are normally small and we are good at talking them out and resolving them in the moment.
Now I'll get to what I came to ask about: We used to have a lot of sex, very passionate and exciting. My sex drive has always been high, and it still is, but lately I find myself desiring her sexually less and less. I am still very much in love with her but I just don't get aroused by her nearly as often.
This past weekend, she was here from Friday until Monday morning and we only had sex twice the entire weekend. In the past, it would have been 6-10 times in that time frame.
The sex is still very good when we do have it, but I am worried about a couple things:
1) Will my desire for her continue to decrease or am I just in a lull?
2) Am I not satisfying her due to my lower sex drive? Is it making her feel unattractive or self-conscious?
3) Most importantly, what can I do to spice things up a bit and get back my previous energy and desire for her?
Admittedly I do still have a very high sex drive when it comes to other girls. I am faithful to her but am definitely tempted by desires for other women- though I would never act on them.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend and I used to bang like the world was about to end, lately I haven't wanted to have sex with her as much. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my GF [20] 3 mo, not sure where to draw the line.
POST: My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 3 months, but have been friends for a bit longer. We have both had prior relationships in which we have had sex. Both of us feel like that was too far, though. We both grew up in Christian backgrounds, but it wasn't really until after our prior relationships that we've really taken it as our own things.
As of now we've stuck to just kissing and such, nothing really more than spooning. We both really want to take things further, but also know that we don't want to go all the way. We just aren't really sure where to draw the line.
Part of the problem is that we feel as if the Bible is rather vague on the topic. We can see that it clearly says to abstain from pre-marital sex. And it also talks about avoiding sexual immorality. But it's just hard to know what exactly that means. Some things we've read point to it being any sort of sexual relations, others seem to suggest that it's only about keeping sexual relations to committed relationships.
So, basically, we know a few things that we don't want to do. We've said no actual sex for sure. And we also know we can't be naked together, because that would be too much of a temptation. We have a few other things we know we don't want to do, but other than that are pretty lost on where to draw the line.
Any and all advice will be appreciated. We will try to answer any questions you may have.
Also, before anyone asks, this question comes from both of us, not just me. She's sitting next to me, reading it as I post it.
TL;DR: | Both of us have had sexy times in past relationships. Both want to have sexy times, but also don't want to take things to far. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Guy chasing payment, advice (it's not as heinous as it sounds...probably)
POST: A while back, an ex-friend (it'll get obvious why later on) and I were driving, and were involved in an accident. Fortunately, there were no injuries of any sorts, just car issues. Long story short (and also because I have no idea what I was thinking), I reported myself as the driver instead of this ex-friend. This may be important...both of us are international students in the US, I'm still going through college while the other party has returned to their country.
Now, said ex-friend has returned to their country (different from mine) for a few months. Recently, ex-friend contacted me, saying that their previous car insurance company denied a claim, and requires them to pay a certain amount of money. (I'm not sure about the details, but there was something about deductibles) This ex-friend is pretty much forcing me to cough up the full amount because I'm registered as the driver of the accident, which sounds pretty insane to me. I say no, and he assured me that in no uncertain terms that if this issue is brought up in court, I will definitely lose. There were no witnesses at the scene of the accident when it occured, and it doesn't help that I'm not a law student, but this ex-friend is.
The way I see it, there's no legitimate way out of this for me. However, is there any way that I can "ghost" this ex-friend? They only have my cell phone number (which can be easily changed) and my Facebook account (definitely not a problem, lol), and I was considering the possibility of transferring schools so that it's impossible for them to track me. Any other suggestions may also be helpful.
TL;DR: | dumbass me volunteered to be the driver of an accident with no other injuries or witnesses, asshole ex-friend wants me to "reimburse", I obviously do not want to. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 F] with my Boyfriend [27 M] of 10 years
POST: Hello,
I've been with my boyfriend since I was 14/15. I love him. He is calm and steady. But sometimes I feel like I want to move on.
I think he has depression. He is very vacant. He answers most questions with "I don't know". He has no inflection in his voice. Sometimes I have a surreal experience when I realise he is actually 'real'. It is hard to explain.
He plays xbox in his free time non stop. He is in the top 10 for achievement points in the country. He has no interest in traveling or doing anything adventurous. If I try to do something with him, it isn't fun because I know it doesn't interest him.
He has/shows no emotion.
I am scared to lose someone I'm attached to. Who I sleep in bed with each night. I have almost grown up with this person.
But I wish I got attached to a different person :-(
I'm only interested in men who are extremely intelligent- less than 1% of the population. He is borderline genius, but what is the use when he converses and interacts in a lifeless way.
TL;DR: | In summary, I am conflicted between my long term attachment and comfort, and my longing for something else. Will you please give me your outsiders perspective on my situation? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24F] with my SO [25M] 1 year, would you be upset if your SO didn't say I love you back about four times in five days, after they had said it back every time for a while?
POST: Even if your SO still says it to you throughout the day? Over the past few days my SO has not said "I love you" back to me a number of times but has said it throughout the day on his own accord. I'm not sure if bringing this up is the right way to go, but if he's doing it intentionally then my feelings would be beyond hurt.
He's never not said it back before, or not told me he loves me before bed. This has happened a few times now and I don't want to seem like I'm over analyzing his word usage, but I've noticed. I feel like maybe I'm insecure right now and it should be my issue to deal with and unfair to bring this up to him. Would you be alarmed?
TL;DR: | would you be upset if your SO didn't say I love you back a few times and this was abnormal for them? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (F, 22) was broken up with out of the blue. Something feels off and how do I go on?
POST: Throwaway because my ex and friends know my main account and I also don't really want this tied to my main anyways.
So, I was seeing James (name changed)(M, 21) for about 4 months. We really hit it off and had a great time together. We had great sex, knew each other's family and friends, and things were going on great. There was no indication to James ever breaking up with me (or, at least in the foreseeable future.)
Then, James comes over to my house and proceeds to break up with me. This comes as a shock, as we just hung out a few days prior and nothing seemed to be wrong. He had a good time and he told me how much he liked me and enjoyed my company, as he has every day before. He says that he doesn't feel like spark between us and I understand that. I don't agree with it, but I understand. You can't make someone have feelings for you when they don't, that's just not how things work and I get that.
Here's what kind of feels off to me, James was sobbing to no end while telling me he doesn't feel anything for me. Something between what he was saying, his actions, and what he has said to me every single day in the past doesn't feel right to me. I could really use some help interpreting this because it doesn't sit right. I feel like he's saying he doesn't feel the spark anymore, but also feeling something. I could also be putting something where there's nothing, which is likely possibility.
But, I also feel kind of lost. I haven't been single for a while (before James, I was in a long-term relationship that ended poorly) and I don't know how to be single. How do you bounce back from something like this when you still have feelings for the person you broke up with?
TL;DR: | I was broke up with out of the blue. Something feels fishy and I need some advice from the people of r/relationships. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Dear Reddit-Landia (Redditia?), what is the story of how you came to find reddit? Who, what, where,when,why and how were you first introduced?? AKA: When exactly did your social life and work efficiency begin its demise due to reddit?
POST: For myself, I was visiting back home from real-world land with, jobs and whatnot. So, while watching a tennis match with my life-long friends and their family, my friend Tyler and his brother begin discussing all things awesome from the internets. I am of course listening intently as they go from topic to topic of awesomeness that I had never even seen or heard of! It was like they had some secret intrawebs that I had never found and theirs was awesome! It got so bad that even my friends' little sister joined in on the conversation of awesome netses and I was even more left in the dust of glory! So finally after being regaled with stories of cats, idiots and whores to my hearts content I finally muster up the question... Hey so uh where did all this shit come from anyway?!? They all simultaneously turn to me with wide eyes and say with incredulity, "Don't you have reddit?!?" To which I of course reply with the classic save face answer whenever friends are undoubtedly cooler than you, "Um ya i think I heard of that from my friend this one time, good shit." And from there the conversation turns as I hurriedly download the reddit app, join in on the fun, and subsequently ruin my work efficiency and social abilities..
Now your turn!!
TL;DR: | Had no idea what reddit was when friends, and even their little sister were hip to the jive, subsequently lied about lack of cool knowledge to save face and immediately fixed error in said lack... |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: [17M] Need help striking a conversation up with an introvert
POST: So there's this really cute girl in one of my classes, however the problem is she is an introvert (but not shy). I have seen her every day on my bus last year but have never had the nerve to strike up a conversation with her because she was going out with someone. Though, this year also on my bus and now in one of my classes (and single), I thought it would be a good idea to talk to her. I've never had a problem talking with other girls before but I guess I'm just nervous because I really like this girl and don't want to blow my one chance to talk to her. Though for the 1.3 years that I've known her I have never said hi to her once.
We often meet eye to eye and I catch her staring but I don't think this is a sign of her showing interest in me. Reason being is that she is largely an introvert. In class she sits on the left most side and positions herself facing away from the class and never looks up, just kinda stares down at her paper the entire time. On occasion of when she does look up she pretty much looks to the side of her with her head and uses her eyes to further look behind her to see me. But I feel like she is just analyzing me as most introverts do. She uses her phone A LOT as far as I can tell so she isn't lonely as she appears.
TL;DR: | want to talk to a cute girl ive seen every day for 1.3 years but too much of a wuss to do so. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: I am scared for college. Plain and simple, I don't know what Im getting into.
POST: I live in the Northern US and am trying to make a choice about going to a college in the South. I have a backup plan but want to try this one college first. I am currently 18 and have a truck, a job, and a stable family right now so I am in good standing. I am just terrified of my past school history and am worried if I am prepared enough for college.
To explain, the first two years of highschool I was in a JROTC, and that distracted me from doing any work and I never took into the severity of it until my Senior Army Instructor for our batallion and I were talking about my grades. I failed so many classes those two years.
I decided to move to a choice technical school in my area that has been voted the best in my state for a couple years now, and surprisingly im doing okay I am going to graduate on time but *barely*. I havent failed a class yet at this school because I have worked hard, I also took 16 credits worth of local tech college classes and got around a B average in them these passed two years. I also have a history in being well over provifient in standardized state testing and got a 24 on the ACT. So im not stupid, I just have a history of slacking off.
Essentially I am worried, terrified really of me going down to college away from my family (I have my best friend down there) and out on my own. There have been times where I really haven't been responsible, with my schoolwork, my money, some of my basic responsibilities (Though I do have a very great record for it at my job). Is there anything I should know or any advice that you guys have learned when going through college that could help me?
TL;DR: | Im afraid of failing because of my school history when going to a college in a different state, very far away from where I live now. Should I be that worried? Any advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Got caught cheating on my college math test... screwed?
POST: Basically, I've had a really tough semester. This is my first year in college, and my dad has been diagnosed with cancer, my mother has passed away, my ADHD is in full swing which is combined with major depression (now)....I'm emotionally just a trainwreck.
Out of desperation, I googled two questions on my math test, and got caught. I went to my professors office, owned up, didn't make any excuses, apologized, and told her that I'm willing to face whatever consequences she sees fit. She told me that she was going to follow procedure and give me a 0 on the test, which essentially gives me a failing grade in the class (even though I have an A from a different university that I haven't transferred). I'm attending the school on full scholarship, and I must keep a certain GPA to keep it... I won't get it. She told me that since I have a lot on my plate right now, she advised that I withdraw from my university and get help. The dean, my advisor, the provost... essentially everyone was to receive a copy of my test which I cheated on, and I'm going to basically be blacklisted for the rest of my life, right? She also said I could appeal... but I really don't see that going in my favor.
Okay, so, I have the opportunity to move in with my grandparents in New York. They would pay for my community college while I obtained residence, and then later would send me to a state school. I would not transfer any of my credits from this school... I would just start over. Still unsure whether it would be best to do at semester or at the end of the year. I mean, if I did it at the end of the year, I would just be wasting everyone's money and time, right?
TL;DR: | Got caught cheating on a math test, feel like it will negatively impact me for...ever, and I think moving away and "running away from the issue" will give me a fresh start. What do you think? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Why should a man feel entitled to be able to make decisions on the abortion/anti-abortion issue?
POST: It's a legit question that I've been trying to answer, and this seems like a place where I can get some sensible/popular perspectives.
It irritates me greatly to see my male friends take up the cause of PRO-LIFE so significantly in their lives that they're everywhere, all over facebook, posting links to promote their anti-abortion views.
I believe that everyone is allowed to have an opinion on things, but abortion is a woman's concern! The issue has so many aspects -- unsafe sex or rape? mother healthy and able to carry or not? family able to support the kid or not? -- all kinds of issues which really come down to the mother. Then how can a man think he is in a position to tell the entire population of women that they can't choose to not have a baby?
I honestly want to know what guys think about this... Like, if I were to have an opinion on treatment of prostrate cancer, and I thought I were entitled to decide it for men, it would be unfair imo.
TL;DR: | abortion is a woman's business (for the most part). How does a man rationalize having the power to decide it for women whether or not she should be able to get an abortion? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Girl[15F] I have HUGE crush on suddenly stopped talking to me[15M] and I don't know what to do.
POST: First off, sorry if this comes of as stupid teenage angst.
So there's this girl I met on the bus that I've had a bit of a crush on for a while and we were talking. We always sat together, asked how each others day went, etc. and we hit off pretty well when all of a sudden our friends noticed us together. They immediately went on to make things awkward as possible saying they ship us, why haven't I asked her already, etc. and eventually seemed to shut down the relationship entirely In a ridiculous climax when they were all chanting in the back for me to ask her. This obviously killed the conversation entirely and made things ridiculously awkward.
So then after that, she's been actively avoiding me. After weeks of sitting together and talking she all of a sudden stopped talking and actively avoids our usual seat. This has been tearing me up for the last few days because I really felt we had a chance since she was dropping hints that she liked me too, and now we haven't talked in a week.
So my question is this, what should I do? Is she just embarrassed with our friend's reactions, or should I just give up, I don't know. Any and all advice would be great.
TL;DR: | Met a girl of interest that just seemingly forgot about me after our friends made an ass of themselves embarrassing us. Dont know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [26/f] my boyfriend [28/m] and I are very different, I'm less attracted to him.
POST: We've been together 4 months. We adore each other, he's sweet and makes me really happy etc etc, but lately I've been noticing how different we are and I'm becoming less attracted to him.
He does drugs recreationally and smokes. I don't, I hate smoking.
He has a history of being fired/quitting jobs. I've had stable work.
He is very disorganised and unmotivated. I am organised and motivated.
He walks away from me at parties, leaving me on my own, where I don't know anyone. I like to hang out together at parties.
He is all about having a good time. I'm all about being productive.
His friends are like him (drugs, smoking, under employed). My friends are like me (no drugs, no smoking, lawyers), but I've just moved cities so not being able to see them is making things worse.
He wants to move in together. All our differences are making me have second thoughts.
He isn't reliable (2 hours late for dinner because he's been at the pub, forgot to post a form, didn't go to the bank). I am very reliable (anal).
He accepts me as I am. I don't accept him as he is, I want him to have a stable job, not do drugs, not smoke (he wants these things too, but I don't know if a leopard can change his spots).
Lately when he goes out with his friends I decline to join them. Sitting at home alone studying is a better option! They're friendly, but I can't stand the smoking, I don't have heaps in common with them, and I don't do drugs. I can't see how this will work long term.
I would normally go see my friends or family when he's out, but I've moved cities for uni.
I've looked around at all my friends and family and in all the 'successful' relationships, the people are very similar to each other in values.
TL;DR: | I don't know what to do. Are there too many differences? (friends, drugs, uni, ambition). |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How long is too long for an LDR to go on, and when is it the right time to alter your dreams for love?
POST: My boyfriend and I (both 24) have been together for a little over two years and we've spent most of our time together in a long distance relationship. We met the summer before I left for graduate school and decided to go ahead to do the LDR thing to see if we could make it work. Things have been great so far, I only moved four hours away so we were able to see each other every weekend. We've never missed a night talking on the phone and this has allowed us to develop a connection unlike any other. We are very much in love.
Unfortunately, we both have career aspirations that require us to stay in certain places. He works in the gaming industry and I work on fisheries policy. I've completed my graduate studies and have been accepted to work with a great organization. However, that organization is not anywhere near his current job. We would be spending months apart. I am by no means complaining, I know many others have it worse, but this will be a new challenge for us.
We've talked about eventually settling down, but having our careers taking us two different places clearly causes a bit of a problem. And while we've been very successful at a LDR, it is getting tiresome. I would like to be able to come home from work to his smiling face. And to really be able to build a life together. So how long is too long for an LDR to go on, and when is it the right time to alter your dreams for love?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend and I have been in an LDR for years due to different career goals. When is enough, enough? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Overpaid taxes last year? 1099misc
POST: Hi Guys,
So basically last year I started working as a freelance photo assistant. The company I worked for didn't pay me around 6 months, citing a error in payroll somewhere. This caused me to leave the position. They never sent me a 1099-misc form for 2014, however, since it was my first year working as a 1099 contractor I was worried about being audited and the amount of time it would take to get processed. I was audited the previous year because of a mistake at SS with my birthday and I had to get my tax done early to get my student loans in order, so I couldn't wait. I claimed the income as misc income for 2014. I eventually got the money around February.
Today I received a 1099 misc from this company. Is there anyway to get my money back or not pay this year for money earned and paid for last year? I'm hurting as it is and paying additional tax on $1000 dollars might just screw me.
TL;DR: | I overpaid taxes last year on money i didn't receive until 2015 because of a clerical error, now I have a 1099-misc from for the same money this year. What are my options? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: I need help making a potentially life-changing decision
POST: So 2 years ago I got through to an University which is good academically and has above average placements every year. However, I got into drugs and spent a lot of time over-sleeping and following that in the hospital for treatment (for mental illness caused due to use of drugs), due to which I got debarred and consequently, several months off from University. My doctor advised me to stay at home, and study in a University at the city I'm from, which is a tier below in terms of academics compared to the University I'm enrolled in currently and has average placements.
Now, I can either go back to the University I'm enrolled in, try making new friends (because my old friends are into drugs a lot) and study in an atmosphere which has stress and drugs, or try getting into the University back home at the cost of academic excellence (albeit a minor difference), my independence (since I'll have to stay with my parents) and also lose 2 years instead of 1.
Please help, any advice is welcome.
TL;DR: | I can either choose to study in a University which has a non-conducive environment for my health or stay at home with parents and study in a University a tier below, academically |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 F] and my more than friend [24 M] of 3 months vanished for his ex.
POST: We had something ... until he disappeared for a week then sent a message saying that he wanted to try to work things out with his ex (dated for 70% of his life, broken up for about 2 months). He needs to stay away from me because of how heated things were getting between us.
How am I supposed to feel ... the connection feels too strong to let go of. Maybe I'm just stubborn. I don't stand a chance against the foundation and comfort that a relationship that is 2 years shy of a decade long but I just don't want to give up... Any third part insight is appreciated. Thanks!
TL;DR: | Want someone who is trying to rekindle with ex. I won't behave like a psycho stalker ... But how can I get over it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22 F] am divorcing my husband [21 M] of 3 years, and I've never been single before.
POST: Also planning on talking about this in r/divorce, but since I'm so much younger than a lot of divorcees, I figured I should post here too.
So, my husband and I were together since our senior prom in 2010. Before that, I was always in some kind of a relationship in high school and if I wasn't I was pretty much acting like I was. In eighth grade, I wouldn't even let myself *crush* on two people at once because I felt like that was infidelity. ಠ_ಠ
I wanted to leave my husband in the first place because I felt like he was really boxing me in and not letting me be myself, but now that I'm 'single', I see myself falling into the same patterns I used to where I'm seeking out some not-so-perfect guy to validate my feelings and give my life purpose.
I'm really depressed, and I'm lonely without someone to make me feel desirable and intelligent and worth being with, because that's all I really want to be: I just want to be somebody's world. Does anyone have tips on how I can disengage myself from this whole I-need-a-man mentality that I'm in? I'm worried that it's not going to help me in fighting my depression or creating a good life for myself out here on my own.
TL;DR: | Been in and out of relationships for my entire young life, how do I break the cycle of running back to somebody for security? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'd [16 M] hate to have feelings for her[16 M]
POST: I know, I know, it is generic. We have known each other for about 5 years now, and in that time we have become the best of friends. We've established that no matter what happens in our friendship, that we will never cuddle, kiss, or have feelings for each other. But recently we have been communicating non-stop and sometimes I just feel like I may have feelings for this person. But I am afraid to say something about it or point it out in the event that she won't continue being my friend, which is what's more important to me than dating her. We were talking the other day about what we look for in a partner, and I listed some things, (I am [trait], enjoy [verb], and have [noun].) and her response to that was basically, "But dude, I am [trait], enjoy [verb], and have [noun].", with the EXACT same things I listed. It made me pause and think that maybe she said that in the hopes I would get a mother fucking hint. But I dunno. She told me she did some stuff with this guy, and for some reason it really set me off. And now I can't stop thinking about her, but at the same time, I know I shouldn't think about her in this way. I wish I could simply tell her how I feel. It's basic Middle school bullshit, but it's driving me nuts and starting to stress me out. It's like this little guy tugging at my shirt telling me to be sad about it and stuff, telling me to not be able to live without her.
TL;DR: | I'm afraid I'm falling for my best friend, sometimes I feel like she feels the same way but if I told her how I feel, I may lose her as a friend. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by hurrying at the urinal
POST: In truth, this happened 1 and a half years ago.
A little background; I was stationed at a 'tropical' military base in Central America. It is a relatively small base with ~600 military personnel, because of this it is not unlikely to see the same people (usually higher ranking) on a daily basis. It is also a non-combat base, so the atmosphere was relatively relaxed, civilian attire is authorized, pool hours, bars, yada yada. They also have a very nice gym.
The story; I had just done a grueling gym session, followed by a nice steady run. I decided to go straight to the chow hall to get some grub. Being super hydrated, and having just came off a run, I had to go #1, badly. Get to the men's room (where there are 2 urinals, and a stall), both the stall and 1 urinal is occupied. It isn't waiting. Pull up to the open urinal, immediately proceed to pull down gym shorts and begin. Look down to realize that do to my compression shorts, I am stuck in straight downward, dressed left position, not my usual 30 degrees. I am completely missing the small urinal lip, and hitting the floor...mere inches from this mans open-toed flip flop rock kickers. Splashing ensues, strangers foot gets some (a significant some). I hastily adjust, getting a handful of urine in the process. I manage to look straight to the wall ahead of me in a feeble attempt to erase the last 4 seconds of my life. Feel the searing heat of angry eyes, slowly glance over to meet them, only to greet the chaplain Lt. Colonel. In a miraculous turn of events, I suddenly lost all need to empty my bladder, and any appetite I had, disappeared. I don't remember much of what happened after that, but I do remember awkwardly leaving, without washing my hands, while a 40 year old man was rinsing his foot in a public bathrooms sink. I didn't get chow that night.
TL;DR: | Went to gym and run, needed to pee badly. Rushed to urinal, compression shorts altered my trajectory, pissed on a holy man's foot. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: goddamn Craigslist...
POST: 28M/28F
I knew for a while that my boyfriend was interested in men. He had told me of his experimentation when he was younger and around Christmas time he confessed to having intense sexual fantasies about men.
In general, our relationship was healthy. We laughed, supported each other, and never missed the opportunity to bond with each other. We had our minor disagreements but we never fought, never yelled, and were so diligent about comforting each other. We got a house together, furniture, a dog and after almost 4 years together I thought things couldn't get any better. Yes he had fantasies about men but he had promised me he would always put our relationship first. That him and I were most important.
Today, as I'm trying to upload a picture of him and I to facebook, I stumble upon his gmail. I have never ever in the years of knowing him ever had a reason to snoop. I'm not that type of person to do it even if I did have a reason. I noticed a M4M craigslist add that he was trying to reply to.
That heart-clenching pain and the stomach drop hit me like a I've never felt before.
I confronted him when he got home and he did come clean about browsing the Casual Encounters but something switched almost immediately as he promised he'd never actually cheated on me...
I looked at him very differently. I saw someone I didn't recognize and saw someone that was almost relieved he was caught. I asked him to stay at his mother's for a while because he needs to sort through what he needs for himself. Does he want to have sexual encounters with men, or does he want our relationship?
I don't know what to do next. My dog is whining at the door waiting for him to come home, I can't stop crying long enough to call a friend to come over and chat with me. I need some level of catharsis which may be why I'm posting this.
Any similar or shared stories would be appreciated along with advice. We're not broken up but I just needed him to be somewhere else.
TL;DR: | BF was planning to gay cheat on me. I'm heartbroken. Share with me your stories of infidelity or almost infidelity. |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: Ways of dealing with physically-induced asthma?
POST: WHY YES! I ***HAVE*** read the all of the FAQs!
I'm 23 and I live in Iowa (so higher humidity than lots of places), and I've been trying to get into running since mid-summer, but I have physically-induced asthma, which is a huge workout-killer. I ***DO*** have an albuterol inhaler and I ***DO*** take decongestant allergy meds on a daily basis. I use my inhaler ***before*** I go run, it's way worse without it. Using it when I'm running does not help much, if at all.
I started out by following the couch-to-5k plan to try to get my lungs/airways adjusted, but I allotted more weeks per workout (for example, doing two weeks of Week 1, two weeks of Week 2, etc.), but it ultimately didn't help. Even now when I go out to run, I have to do run/walk intervals. Typically, when I need to slow down to a walk, it's not because my legs/body is out of shape, it's because I can't breathe. I'd like to try training for races, and have completed a few 5ks (running/walking), but I physically haven't been able to run continuously for more than 0.8 k or 4-5 min (usually at the beginning of the workout before my body's realized what I'm doing).
SOOOOO, is there anybody else who has dealt with something similar? What sorts of things/methods can I try to help alleviate the asthma symptoms and/or help to make it not as bad? I'd like to just be able to push through it, but that isn't as feasible of an option--I can't run if I can't breathe.
TL;DR: | I have an albuterol inhaler for my asthma and am trying to become a lot better at running, but my lungs like to deprive me of air, so I still suck. Any thoughts or suggestions? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19/F] am unsure how to begin dating after an abusive relationship.
POST: I was sexually abused as a child and was raised by possibly narcissistic parents, neglectful at the least. I entered my first relationship a year ago, and for six months I dated an emotionally manipulative man who joked about me being molested and thought it was "hot" old men have preyed on me in the past.
After escaping this relationship I went off of the SSRI (celexa) I had been on the duration of the relationship. I spiraled into a deep depression and started having flashbacks, dissociation, panic attacks etc., while working 30hrs a week which was a bad idea.
Now, a year since I entered the relationship I am finally feeling better since working out a proper medication regimen for my depression and anxiety (an anti-psychotic, SSRI, and an anxiety medication). I am self conscious about the fact that I am someone with anxiety and depression who has been abused, I feel as if I will be looked at as someone who is crazy and not worth dating because of the medication I am on. Would this be a deal breaker?
TL;DR: | Childhood abuse, depression, and anxiety have left me socially awkward and nervous. I am unsure how to begin dating after all of this. Unsure if I should disclose my painful past and present coping mechanisms. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by talking my boyfriend into sending me a dick pic.
POST: Here's some background: boyfriend just got a new phone, and consequentially has a Snapchat account for the first time. He's not good with technology at all.
So today I was bored at work, and since my boyfriend just got his first snapchat account yesterday, decided to ask him for a dick pic.
I was distracted by a customer for a couple minutes, then turned back to my phone to see the following two texts: "Are you serious?" and "Cause I will" and upon checking Snapchat, saw that he wasn't lying. However, upon tapping on my friends list, realized that he had also posted it as a story.
FFW through 20 minutes of trying to talk him through deleting it, finding out he had deleted the app and thus logged out, while forgetting the password to the account: we are now realizing there is no way to delete it. He must have typo'd his usual password when making the account.
Basically, there was no way to retract this, so it will have to live out its 24 hours on his profile. This ain't no Etch-a-Sketch, Juno.
I don't think a schlong is too bad of a thing to accidentally post on your snapchat story-- I mean, who hasn't seen one? But still. Poor guy. I feel for him.
TL;DR: | boyfriend just got snapchat. Talked him into sending me a dick pick. He accidentally, essentially, sent it to all of his friends. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (M37) have been in a relationship with an engaged woman(33) and I'm an idiot.
POST: We haven't been together that long, but longer than it should have gone on, she was supposed to leave the guy. But she stalled. Now almost 3 months later I'm really losing trust and thinking she always just wanted me on the side. Part of me feels guilty thinking this because when I'm with her, I believe she really wants to be with me. Then everything else doesn't add up. This is an old story right?
So we broke up. I wanted to talk but she ended up breaking it off with me in txts. Part of me wants vengeance/revenge. I hate that part of me. But I am mad she is getting away with this shit and still ends up hurting me. I don't want the guy to hurt though. But I want to tell him and her sister. I want some of my own answers too. I want the full story. What do I do? Be the better man and just walk away? Or do I talk to her sister (someone she's been having problems with lately and isn't on speaking terms with her) and her fiancé?
TL;DR: | was involved in an affair. We just broke up and part of me wants revenge to make this public or should I be the better man and walk away quietly? |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Do I really need to include ALL of my previous jobs?
POST: I am a recently graduated librarian with a background mostly in customer service in retail and libraries. I'm trying to find my first "real" job and, although I know how to fill out applications and all that good stuff, I'm a little concerned that I've been doing it wrong (no interviews yet :(). My question is, do I really have to list ALL of my previous jobs on the application for a professional position? I know my resume can include only relevant work history but most apps ask for complete work history; I'm young, so I have things in my fairly recent past like Taco Bell and a movie theater that I usually leave off of applications, but I recently read something that said employers now have ways of electronically checking to see if work history is complete. I don't want them to think I'm lying; I just omit several of the part-time jobs I had when I was in my late teens, early twenties. I don't even remember the names of some of my managers at those jobs.
TL;DR: | Will employers know or care if I leave part time jobs like "Taco Bell" and movie theater" off of my work history on an application that wants "complete work history"? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [18/F] tell my classmate [18/M] that I have a boyfriend [18/M]?
POST: So in short, there's a guy in my class who seems to be interested in me. It's mostly been casual small talk during class, with him asking me what classes I'm taking, where I live on campus, etc. But the other night he texted me asking if I wanted to go to a party with him. I responded something along the lines of "I'm actually busy tonight. Thanks for the invite though!" I wasn't sure how else to respond. It's not like I could've been like "Um, sorry, but I have a boyfriend." Then just last night, we had a group meeting, and he offered to walk me home. I declined and made up some BS excuse about how I had something to do before I went home.
I'm at a loss, because he is being super casual and hasn't made it explicitly clear that he's interested in dating me or anything. But, I do feel like if he knew I had a boyfriend, he might not be casually hitting on me the way that he is. I'm not really attracted to him at all, but he's a nice guy and I think he's not be excessively aggressive or creepy or anything. Asking to walk me home just seems courteous.
I guess my main question is, should I tell him that I have a boyfriend? And if so, how? Should I text him randomly and let him know ("Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I have a boyfriend. You're a really nice guy and I didn't want you to think that I was just being rude"), or wait until he asks me out again?
TL;DR: | Guy in class is kinda hitting on me. How do I let him know I have a boyfriend without being a jerk? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend (19F) of two years doesn't wear make up and it bothers me (19M).
POST: Let me start off by saying that the title of this post might sound really, really vain. And it kind of is, really. My girlfriend is a beautiful girl with a geek-ish personality (the bookworm type). We've been together for two years now and I've been happy throughout. But, as with any relationship, there are always small things (I bet she has a couple of issues with me too). You're supposed to work these kinks out together, but honestly I have no idea how to begin with this one.
Here's the thing – she doesn't wear make up. As far as I know, she thinks it's too much of a bother in the mornings to apply it all (can't blame her). She doesn't completely disregard her appearance though, she likes to dress up nicely every day. Just no make up. It has been this way before I came into her life as far as I know.
Why is this such a bother to me? Honestly, I'd say it if I knew. My guess is that I compare her appearance to that of other girls, especially her face. I still think she is beautiful, I just think she would look stunning with make up on. Like, actress/model good. She's probably not at that level but I'm seeing things through a different, in love, perspective.
So yeah, it bothers me for some odd reason that she doesn't wear make up. I'd love for her to do so. What is the best way for me to get this across to her? Should I just tell her up front, or leave small hints? Or should I just let it go all together because I'm being too much of a vain asshole (I'm kind of afraid of ruining the relationship in the long run if I don't get this off my chest).
If you got this far, thanks for reading and I hope to get some good advice.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend doesn't wear make up which bothers me, how do I tell her I want her to wear make up? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me friends [18 F], [19 M] wants advice after a long distance breakup and i don't know what to say
POST: My friends, (Let's call them Julie and Willie) have been dating for about 2 and a half years but have been in a long distance relationship for a year. Julie moved to Australia and comes down to New Zealand (where Willie and I live) in her school breaks when she can.
Their relationship wasn't always healthiest. They would usually argue because they just don't know what they get up to. For example, Willie actually has a lot of female friends and Julie doesn't accept them for being friends. But when they are together and in their good moods, they are the best couple.
Lately, Willie started hanging out with this very nice girl (lets name her Ellie). It looks like Willie is replacing Julie with Ellie because every time Julie and Willie argue, Willie likes Julie less, until it came a point where Willie announced he doesn't like Julie anymore and that they should just be friends.
Julie came to me for comfort, and personally i don't know what to say. I know that she can't make him change his feelings but she's very scared and paranoid. She can't believe that he left her and she is beating herself up for being a horrible girlfriend. I told her that i'm always here for her and to listen but shes just really tired of telling everyone the same thing.
What should i say/do for her ?
TL;DR: | My friends broke up a long distance relationship and the girl came to me for comfort, don't know what to say. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [22 F] boyfriend [30m] embarrasses me regularly in public. Now he proposed to me in public and humiliated me.
POST: My boyfriend of four years, knows that I am quiet and reserved, and always does things when I strictly ask him not to. Such as when we go to a restaurant for my birthday, even though I tell him not to, he has them all come out and sing.
When friends or his family are over, he is always telling them private stories that should only be for us, or frequently embarrassing anecdotes about things I did.
For a while he would watch youtube shows about pranking people, and then prank me, and film it (crap like putting sand in a sandwich or foam in a tooth paste. This has been an issue in our past that I threatened to leave him for so he has stopped the pranking at least.
Well we were at a game and then the entire stadium is focused on us when it says on the screen 'will you marry me', we are on camera and he proposed to me. I was so angry and humiliated at him I sprinted away while the entire crowd is laughing at me.
He chased me and laughed at me, and took me to the car, telling me that he knows that I 'hate it now' but that one day I will tell my grand kids about what he did and that he loves me enough to make a big public gesture.
I hate it though. I am tired of him doing things like this, and want to know what I can say for him to respect my privacy more? Could it be that we are just not as compatible as I thought?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend constantly humiliates me in public, does pranks, and now proposed to me in public. How do I get him to stop? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (22M) LDR girlfriend (24F) wants to go to a Valentines Day party, and doesn't understand why I'm upset.
POST: My girlfriend of six months goes to school in the UK, while I live in North America (she is from the same city as me originally, which is how we met). Since we have a long distance relationship, I can't go visit her until April, which means we miss out on spending valentines day together.
So, the problem here arose when she mentioned that she was invited by one of her friends (who is really into partying and is single) to a Valentines Day party that she (friend) was hosting. When my gf told me about this, I got upset because she would be spending valentines day with a bunch of single people, who are all looking to hook up and have fun.
Now, this wouldn't normally be a problem, but when my gf is drunk she tends to get really flirty and touchy with people, some of whom she might not necessarily even know. So my concern is that she's going to get drunk and start being flirty with all of these single guys on valentines day.
I trust her, and know fully that she won't ever cheat on me, but I'm still uncomfortable with the thought that she will be flirty and touchy with these random guys on such a romantic night.
Am I being unreasonable in my discomfort? Do you guys have any suggestions or help that you could offer me right now so that I/we can get over this?
TL;DR: | LDR gf wants to go to a valentines party with a bunch of single guys who she will probably drunkenly flirt with. I'm upset about the situation. Help please. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (26/m) found out why all my room mates have been avoiding me and don't know what to do now.
POST: I lived with some old friends in a big house for the past year. It started off great but eventually I began to grow tired of living with them because of how hard they partied etc. Rather than confront the issues I just would sometimes rant to other friends which isn't cool in retrospect.
So the past few months they went dark on me and stopped inviting me to things but still acted cool with me. I figured out they didn't like me after they all went on a huge camping trip and didn't tell me.
After we all moved out due to other reasons I find out from a friend of mine that they all really don't like me because they heard I was ranting. This explains why they acted the way they did and I feel pretty guilty so I message one of the guys because I was friends for years with him.
He goes on a loooong rant that he doesn't hate me but the other friends do because of my conduct. He called me two-faced which is fair despite them all talking shit about each other constantly to me. Anyway.
I feel terrible about what I did. I want to be friends with these guys and now thay we don't live together I feel like I won't be irritated by them all the time. However my one friend said they are all done with me. I want to reach out and apologize but not even sure how. I've learned my lesson about not being a sneaky asshole two face and learning that I should be upfront. How do I progress from here? I feel both guilty and crushed.
TL;DR: | Talked smack about old room mates because we didn't get along living together. they hate me how do you apologize for that. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] with my GF [23 F] are in a great 1.5-year-long relationship, but I can't help thinking about a random intercourse with others
POST: So I've been in romantic relationships ever since I was 17. Each pretty serious and long-lasting (ranging from 6 months to 2.5 years). I've never cheated on anybody and did not want to - thought that immoral. People cheated on me though, but that's in the past.
Right now I'm in my best relationships so far and my current girlfriend is great - I basically have almost nothing to wish for despite some interest differences but I'm uncertain if it matters that much.
And yet I cannot help thinking about sex with other girls - not relationships, not love, just sex, and just for a change. Every time I see a beauty out on the street or at work or online I start daydreaming about having a sexual intercourse with her.
I have tried masturbating (yeah, *furiously*) in hopes that it would provide me with the experience/emotions I seek, but it's been not much good so far.
I suppose a lot of men would consider this normal (natural polygamy and all that) but the feeling is new to me. What should I do? If I fall for it, will I be able to look her in the eyes or think about myself the same way? Perhaps I should talk to her about this? She's pretty open in this sense (we even thought of doing a threesome someday).
I thought that someone older or with more experience, someone who went through the same, could share a helpful advice with me.
TL;DR: | Great girlfriend, great relationships. Been faithful all my life. Can't help thinking about banging other girls when I see them. What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My bf (26m) doesn't think that I (26f) think he's good enough. What can I do to show him this?
POST: My bf and I have been together a year and this past week has been awful. We've been fighting and spending some time apart to make sure this relationship is what we both want.
I know it's what I want. He seems to think it's not what I want because he says that I'm never happy and I'm always disappointed. He said he doesn't feel that he's good enough for me, and even when I tell him otherwise he doesn't believe me.
I'm afraid our relationship isn't going to be able to survive this, and it's breaking my heart. How can I show him that he *is* good enough in a way that'll believe me?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend doesn't think he's good enough for me, no matter what he does, how can I show him otherwise? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: When your closest friends complain about life, how much is too much?
POST: We're both in our mid/late twenties and I've known him for at least 15 years. These days it seems that most of what he says are complaints about various things: his job, living situation, family, etc.
He's my closest friend, and I get that I need to be there for him. But this past weekend he went on for 40 minutes talking about his living arrangement (his landlord raised the rent and he fortuitously ended up moving back to his previous apartment). We had additional company that night--two other friends that we've known for about 3 years.
He tends to do this whenever we talk--30 minutes to an hour of complaining. We don't talk often or see each other every day so I would say I'm hearing this once or twice a week. This actually makes it worse because in the little time we're together, I only hear him complain.
I wonder how everyone else deals with this. What are your thresholds?
TL;DR: | My best friend complains about things for 30-60 mins at a time and I don't know when I can start telling him to shut up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [27 M] girlfriend [26 F] 4 years, has trust issues and I'm not sure what to do.
POST: I'm really lost here and need advice on whether I should continue this relationship.
My girlfriend and I have a pretty good relationship great communication and love in another a lot. she's been cheated on twice in her last and had problems trusting me in the beginning.
I have never given her reason to think I have\am cheating I've been 100% faithful. She is somewhat overprotective when If I talk to another woman and asks a bunch of questions "who was she" "what did she want" "do you know her" ect ect.
My co-worker (who is a girl) texted me and was asking if I wanted to get drinks sometime. I told her no because i have a girlfriend.
My girlfriend saw this conversation and got angry and started ignoring me for the rest of the day. I don't know how much more I can take and it really hurts that she doesn't trust me.
I really love her though and don't just want to give up but I'm not sure what to do?
TL;DR: | my girlfriend was cheated on 2 times and has a hard time trusting me except I haven't done anything to make her not trust me. I'm not sure what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [25M] first ever love [24F] of 6 years cheated on me. We were our firsts.
POST: I don't want to make you read a lot. But I've been together with her since high school, we were our firsts, she was insanely in love with me, and I was too, we were inseparable, we shared everything and never fought once.
I went to study abroad for one year, and I was perfectly OK, I never cheated, and we never had a fight, but she consistently started speaking to me less, and less, and I tried to address it, but she said she was very busy with work. Forward a bit, my best friend caught her kissing a boy at the club, I didn't believe him and even got mad at him uh... I confronted her and she said he lied, but after a while it came out. Her reasons were that I wasn't there for her as I was away...
I am so heartbroken, I thought I would be together forever. I never thought being each other firsts could end up with cheating, I even read a few studies saying it is extremely unlikely to get divorced if we were our firsts. Everything seemed so "safe".
I know this is for relationship advice, but I don't know how to pick myself up, nor how I can ever have another relationship after this.
Ask for more details if needed.
TL;DR: | My GF cheated on me while I was away for my studies. We seemed perfect, we were each other's firsts and we never fought. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How to stop my friend from generally being a dick [both of us are 23 M]
POST: Basically this guy often makes snarky or cynical comments, or tries to put me down and it's getting kind of old.
We've been friends for many years but until recently I hadn't seen too much of him, but now we both work together at the same company so I work with him every day.
A good example of some of his BS - I injured my hand at work, so he had to take on a little extra work. I busted my ass regardless (once I got back from hospital) in some serious pain and stress and he kept complaining about all the additional work he had to do because of it as though it was entirely my fault (not once being concerned for my well-being).
Another example is that he'll come up with some put down for any slight mistake I make at work (essentially total non mistakes like say, I cause a loud noise when I chuck a toolbox on the floor or whatever or something else that really doesn't matter at all), whereas he continually fucks up majorly (and he knows it) but I know he'd be really sensitive to any kind of similar return criticism.
I don't think it's that I can't take a joke - pretty much all of my other friends are genuinely lovely people and we rib on each other a lot - but they will also be encouraging and loving if the time requires it.
So it's kinda frustrating to have to deal with this. Part of his cynical edginess is what I like about him but I just wish he was a nicer person. I've just been basically ignoring him for a while and not acknowledging much he says when he's decides he wants to be an asshole.
Any ideas on how to handle people like this? It's getting to the point where I'd be happy just to cut him out of my life, but that's impossible because of the work situation (not to mention mutual friends).
TL;DR: | my friend can often be an asshole and its wearing me down, how can I stop this and help him become a nicer person? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU: Had a terrible week, and broke $1,500 worth of vases at work
POST: So this week has been horrible. I had an unavoidable car accident, which is my fault because I made the left turn, which is leaving me minus $1,000 and without a car for two weeks. Also, my fiance and I have had a huge fight which is leaving me worried.
Anyways, at work, we have a cart that we put flowers with vases in (we remove them from the tables at the end of the day). We are supposed to put them in the walk-in refrigerator, which I usually do. Last night, I accidentally put them in the freezer part, which ended up cracking and breaking all of the vases. I honestly did not remember doing this...I have no idea why I would have done that. I feel like I was just on autopilot and not thinking straight. When my boss asked if I knew who did it, I said I remember I had them but that was it. When I was thinking about it more, I got scared that maybe I did do it. I was going to talk to my boss about it, but before I could she pulled me into her office and asked if I was sure that I didn't do it, because many people at work said it was me. I told her that I was thinking about it, and maybe it was just an absent-minded mistake, though I didn't remember exactly that I did it. She then said she has to talk to her boss about what to do with me.
I am really nervous. Can I get fired? Will I have to pay for all of it? I really don't have that kind of money. She said I am responsible for breaking $1,500 worth of stuff, but they were years old, cracked, and chipped. I have been there for two years and never been in trouble before.
TL;DR: | Had a bad week, made an absent-minded mistake at work, am afraid that I will get fired or have to pay money that I don't have. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M/F] with my crush__ [18 M/F] 1 year, situation with this girl and her body
POST: Situation: I was at cross country practice with this girl I like, we've known each other for a year now and she was complaining about being hot and sweaty. I told her to take her shirt off (she had a spots bra) but she said she was basically insecure about her stomach/body, but later that day, she posted an instagram picture of her body and like a transformation from way back (my friend showed me the picture. I don't have instagram)
So my question is basicaly
Will she not show me her body cause she doesn't trust me? Or maybe she likes me and doesn't really want me to see her body? Or you guys can give your reasons, idk. Thanks though.
TL;DR: | This girl wouldn't show me her body at cross country practice, but later that day posted an Instagram picture of her body. Opinions? Does she like me? Not trust me? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My girlfriend (20/f) is still very close to two guys she used to see
POST: She has this friend, lets call him "James" that she always tries to hang out with when he's in town. I didn't really think twice about this until I heard from a mutual friend that she used to see James about a year ago, and even though nothing really happened, they were really close to sleeping with each other.
Then there's this other guy, lets call him "Mike". To make matters worse, Mike is a pretty good friend of mine, who she was seeing on the down-low while she was in a long distance relationship. At one point, Mike even asked her to leave her boyfriend at the time to be with him, just to give an idea of what kind of relationship they had (she said no).
She told me the story about Mike when we started dating without me having to ask anything, so I felt like she was done with him already, but I found it pretty shady when she told me that Mike doesn't want me knowing about their past. Although their fling happened about a year and a half ago, they still keep in contact and are actually still pretty close. I chose to give them the benefit of the doubt, especially because he is my friend.
Yes, I do trust my girlfriend (for the most part) that when she hangs out with them, its just as friends, but I'm extremely worried the more the hangs out with them, the more likely old feelings will arise. Not to mention what might happen if they go out drinking.
I have confronted her about it. She says I have nothing to worry about, and that I'm just being paranoid, but I can't shake this feeling that in a normal closed relationship, she shouldn't be this close with guys she has history with. Oh, and as a side note, she says she basically only has guy friends. When I try to justify it from her perspective, maybe she's just close with friends, who happen to be guys? I dunno
TL;DR: | girlfriend only has guy friends, and is extremely close with two guys in particular whom she's had history with, and one of which is my friend |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what's a completely random thing that's happened to you and had an unexpectedly large impact on a certain aspect of your life? I'll start
POST: last night, I got a call from someone across the state from me. Turned out to be a wrong number, the guy apologized and hung up. Whatever.
A couple hours ago, the same guy calls back, **drunk off his ass,** saying how yesterday marked his 3rd year of being sober but he "just couldn't take it, ya know?" and started telling me about his friends and his family and dumb decisions he's made and how he's a total screw up (his words, not mine, though I unfortunately agree with the poor bastard--he really is a wreck).
Then he started ~~asking me about myself~~ comparing my life with his. I let slip that I was a "student" to which his immediate response was "well look at you, makin an honest man of yerself at FSU getting your degree... you said you were doing engineering, right?"
"Uh.. yeah"
I'm 16.
but then:
"well damn bro, I like you, and my dad, you know, he's a big NASA guy or used to be or somethin and there arent a whole lot of jobs open for engineers these days, so i'll put in a good word for ya when i get a chance alright? actually i could just text you his number and stuff and you could hear it from him, he designed the shuttle thing, the arm thing that comes out of it, you know? that thing"
"oh. sure, man, i appreciate it"
Well I'm young but I do like engineering, physics, rocket science, space, etc... I mean this definitely didn't just guarantee me a trip to Mars or anything too fancy, but at the very least I get to talk to the guy that designed the Space Shuttle robot arm, and even if that doesn't happen, well, lucky me. I still made myself a new friend who I can probably help out just by talking to, and who I've probably not heard the last of anyway.
TL;DR: | guy i've never met in my life calls me, drunk, telling me about his life and offering to make connections for me at NASA |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Being denied fmla, any advice.?
POST: My employer knew my wife was having a baby when I asked for fmla papers months ago they said they didn't have the papers but not to worry cause that I only wanted one week off and they said they could accommodate me. Now baby is here. I was told I couldn't have the time off so I had to work. Then I requested the following weekend off and have been denied again. This time I demanded papers and am taking next week off. The head mgr said he would have them for me the next morning. In the morning I was given a copy of their policy and They said they need 30 days notice and if I don't show next weekend I'm fired.
TL;DR: | my employer wouldn't give me time off, wouldn't give me paperwork, now they wanna deny me request of one week fmla all together |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: A *decent* mail client?
POST: Not sure if this is the right place, but... hey, it *is* a question.
I'm a Windows user, and have been using Thunderbird for a while, much to my annoyance.
Ideally, I'd like something that can 1) run in the background (systray), 2) actually let me know when email arrives, and 3) handle IMAP accounts.
Thunderbird fails on 1 and 2. 1 was somewhat possible - but slightly buggy - until a recent update broke the relevant Extension, 2 has been highly random/buggy for as long as I can remember.
I also gave MS Outlook a try, but... blergh. Oh, and here's the kicker: that doesn't notify properly EITHER. Outlook Express and Windows Live Mail both seem to be "light" versions of outlook, which isn't too encouraging...
So, any decent-ish mail clients out there? I know it doesn't look good, but I figure that among 1.3 million AskReddit subscribers, a few of you might know of something more obscure (but obviously, less sucky) that might be worth a try.
Thanks in advance for any tips. Also, if there are more suitable places to ask, I'd like to know those, too. :)
TL;DR: | need Windows-compatible e-mail client that can handle IMAP AND basic "new mail" notifications AND can run from the system tray. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Hey Reddit! So my room mate and I have had a sort of passive 'real life RPG' running, and we're looking to expand the idea. Here it is so far...
POST: So! We've had the idea of awarding each other pointless XP and leveling up doing things like dishes, cooking dinner for both (or ordering pizza), lending money, watching LOTR extended all the way through, etc.
We were talking and we want to expand on the idea. We were thinking about making a multi-verse with all of our favorite fantasy/sci-fi worlds, like LOTR, Final Fantasy, Star Wars (IV-VI), so on and so forth.
What we have so far is this:
Different classes for each universe (ie. Dwarves, Stormtroopers, SOLDIER class) that level up according to their attributes in the game/film. We level up from the XP stated before, and with each level gain a silly medallion or something to prove it. Then we LARP fight each other to gain more XP and steal medallions.
So yea... That's all we have so far. We want to write rules and come up with an 'end game' and so much more. BUT we need help! So comment away!
TL;DR: | Making a fun multi-verse LARP with room mate and band to make everyday life easier to bear, and need help creating. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (19/F) can't make my pregnant sister's (29/F) surprise wedding, parents making me feel guilty.
POST: A few days ago my oldest sister announced to our family she is pregnant and going to have a wedding before she shows.
Normally, this would be great! Her and the SO were on this pathway anyway, but I guess little baby is a catalyst for getting it done.
The problem is that they set the wedding date on a long weekend that I know I'm going to be 8+ hours away and there is no possible way I can make it or change my plans (great opportunity, would regret if I missed it). I told her and my parents and at first my mom said it would be okay, but completely 180'd on me this morning and now it's a shit storm if I don't go.
I'm trying to have my own life and is it wrong that I have this, "once in a lifetime," thing that I don't want to give up just because my sister got pregnant and has to wed sooner than she wanted? The wedding isn't even going to be a big event, it's a small one and I'm 100% sure they'll renew their vows at some point in the future.
I know I'm not going to be able to make it, but it's going to be one hell of a fight when I get back because I couldn't make it.
TL;DR: | Should I give up something I won't have another chance to do to make it to my sister's wedding because she got herself pregnant? |
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