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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What is the definition of 'climate change' that is under contention between climate change believers and climate change deniers?
POST: Dear reddit,
I was looking for the general consensus on this question for a while and I believe it be search bar approved. I've heard the term climate change denier bounded about recently, usually in a negative fashion.
Without getting into an argument about whether climate change occurs or not. I was wondering what specific definition of climate change is that splits the population into climate change believers and deniers.
Climate change is defined as a long-term statistical change in weather patterns. Studies show that the earth's atmosphere is heating up at a consistent rate, however we're are technically still coming out of an ice age and therefore this change could be considered normal and expected.
My question is are climate change deniers refusing to believe that climate change occurs full-stop (or period for my US friends)? Or do they know the atmosphere is heating up, but believe it is normal and at an expected rate?
Conversely, are those that argue against climate change deniers just arguing that climate change occurs? Or is it that the climate is changing more rapidly than expected and needs to be quelled?
I suppose
TL;DR:
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Is the point of contention between climate change believers and climate change deniers the fact that climate change occurs at all or whether the change is outside reasonable bounds?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My bf [m27] brings up his weight often, I [24f] am not sure how to respond.
POST: We've been seeing each other for maybe 4 months now, so it's a fairly new relationship. He's 27m, I'm 24f.
In short, he makes a lot of comments about being overweight and needing to exercise and eat healthier. This bothers me because I have no idea how to respond to this. I really, really like him, more than I've liked anyone in quite a while, and frankly I want to fuck him or even just get him naked and make out as often as possible as he is. He's not obese or extremely unhealthy, just maybe 10-15lbs over 'skinny', and he's not living off of fast food or sitting on his ass all day, so I'm not very concerned about his actual health. I think it's great if he wants to get in shape or eat better or whatever, and I'm fine with being supportive or cooking healthier meal at home instead of going out. I've suggested it a few times, and we've done it here and there, or if we do go out, he'll make a fairly healthy choice from the menu (grilled salmon and walnut salad or the like), but he's not strict about it either.
So basically all is well and I'm being supportive but I just freeze whenever he's like 'My body isn't what it used to be' or 'I didn't go to the gym this week and I really should have..' or even just 'I really need to lose weight, I'm not used to looking this way, it's not how I normally look'. I'm not sure if he's trying to make sure I still like him or venting or what's going on, but what the hell do I say or do when he comes out with shit like that? I don't want to just say 'I think you're sexy' because I admire his efforts to get himself wherever it is he wants to be, and also because it doesn't really seem to do much, he just laughs it off like I'm joking.
TL;DR:
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bf keeps making comments about being fat, I think he's hot and like to get naked with him, what do I say/do when he says these things?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [26 M] GF [24 F] of 1.5 years, doesn't drive. Am I a jerk for denying rides?
POST: My GF and I are perfect for each other and very much in love. We live together, and spend most of our free time together.
She has a car, but doesn't drive it, because she doesn't want to pay for insurance. I'm lucky, and my parents pay my car insurance, to help as I repay my debts.
We share my car, and it's really starting to bug me. I work a lot, and when I get off work, I hate spending my free time playing taxi, or being stranded at my house because my GF has my car.
I've recently begun to express these concerns to her, and she seems to get where I'm coming from, but continues to take my car. It's her only option in some circumstances; if I say "no car and no ride," She wouldn't be able to get to school/work.
Am I being a selfish, stingy, jerk-face for cutting her off? What is a good way to put my foot down without making it a gigantic issue?
TL;DR:
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Girlfriend an I both need my car. Is it an expected sacrifice in a relationship, or should I be selfish for comfort and convenience?
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How is it that we all see the 'Diplomat vehicle runs down 20+' video so differently?
POST: Original Video Link:
What I saw:
Vehicle starts next to building in far left (driver pov). The marked road is 2 lanes to his right. Vehicle pushes slowly at first through crowd, until crowd members block path.
0.22, Impact from projectiles begin.
0.23, Right side of windsceen is shattered. Driver accelerates toward right hand lanes where the marked road is. Crowd opens up.
0.27, Center of windscreen is shattered. Driver veres toward crowd, (right side)
0.28, Van runs over raised concrete divider jerking it further right.
0.29, van plows through a group of people (with vehicle rear brake light on the whole time)
The drivers priority : protecting himself/ occupants of car.
0.23 > looks more like panic / flight or fight instinct than vengeful wrath.
Reckless driving, assault with a deadly weapon, manslaughter, homicide? Yes, all plausible, and he will hopefully be tried in a court one day. However, judging just his individual actions is difficult enough from this one video. How anyone can judge his intent is beyond me. Especially given the clusterf**k of crazy shit thats going on around him in this.
Action : Bad Governing
Reaction : Shit like this video.
Anger and outrage is justified, but let's please direct that at the 'cause', not just one of the consequences,again.
TL;DR:
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Your in a Van with a smashed windsreen, hundreds of pretty grumpy people are throwing heavy objects at you. What do you do. WHAT DO YOU DO!!!!
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] with my girlfriend[22/F] of two years, she want's to marry an old man and wants me to wait for her.
POST: Brief back story; we've been together for almost 2 years now, we have our ups and downs, but the most frustrating thing in our relationship is that we live in different countries.
She's the sweetest girl I've ever known and I've known a lot and I love her so much, but she has no one in this world and she's living in a poor country, the only one who cares about her now is a 60 years old man, she's been seeing him as friends only but now they want to get married. I know it's only because she wants someone to take care of her, and love her, since I'm always away and my work keeps us from seeing each others in any way possible( I won't get into details about my work but it stops us from being together and I can't quit just yet).
I talked to her, I wished her luck and happiness, and I said goodbye but she cried her eyes out, she begged me to stay and promised me once I can leave work she'll leave him, I said yes, but it hurts me seeing her with another man, it hurts me so much.
I don't want to leave her, I love her so much and she loves me to, but I can't destroy this mans life by being with her too. I don't know if she just using him for attention and money but she says she care about him and I'll always be the priority for her.
I don't know what to do, I love her, I want to wait for her because she's been waiting for me before but now I think she can't be alone much longer, I don't want to move on, but staying with her will cause me pain since I'm so jealous of anyone who comes near her.
Please tell me what should I do?
TL;DR:
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I love my girlfriend and she loves me, our situation forces her to marry an old man, we still love each others, what should I do?
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SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: (SERIOUS) I'm 25 years old and I think i have sexual performance anxiety. Does anybody have insightful help? Please read. Please help.
POST: Just to get it out of the way. I don't smoke, I don't drink, I exercise 3 times a week including running and weight lifting. I eat a healthy diet, no fast food, no soda. I don't over indulge on porn. I know my erectile dysfunction is all psychological not mechanical. I was molested at the age of 7 and have PTSD(post-traumatic stress disorder) because of the ordeal. But I am a survivor not a victim. I've managed to get over my other issues except for this last one. Please any books, articles or films that will help me. Or meditation techniques to calm my mind before sexual intercourse. I know I'm not the 1st or the last to have this complication. Please if anybody has overcame their S.P.A. help me please
TL;DR:
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I have sexual performance anxiety and am unable to get an erection to have sex. I'm 90% sure it stems from me being molested at the age of 7, I am now 25. How can I overcome this?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm in love with the guy I've been seeing but I'm pretty sure he doesn't feel the same
POST: 19(almost 20) year old girl. I've been seeing this guy(21) for almost two months. He's funny, sarcastic, arty, and just pretty much everything I look for in a guy.
The day after Christmas I realized I was in love with him. He's still bitter over his ex that cheated on him. Plus I found out he's been on Tinder still.
I want to give him more time and not rush this. Its just really difficult when I'm ready to make it official and I'm having to stay alert to make sure "I love you" doesn't slip out.
I always go to his place to hangout, but the other day he came to my house. So maybe he's more into me than I think? I just don't know. I dont want to rush it and scare him off, but I also want to share how I feel.
TL;DR:
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I'm in love with the guy I've been seeing but he's bitter over his ex. I wasn't too tell him how I feel but I'm scared.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: So I [18M] asked a girl [19F] on a movie date, and i'm scared about the outcome
POST: Like I said in my last post, I have so many feelings for this girl, but I was recommend to try and take it slow so thats what im trying!
Do you feel it would be good to see a movie that neither of us like so were paying more attention to each other? I was planning on going to see The Boy since we both like horror.
Do you think it would be more gentleman like to ask if I can hold her hand or do you feel that would make it more awkward? Do you also feel it would be appropriate to kiss her on the first date (if all goes well).
TL;DR:
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Asked a girl to go to the movies, she accepted and im trying to see if it would be appropriate to make a move on the first date.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23 M] am worried that my girlfriend [21 F] is a person who attracts/creates drama.
POST: We've been together one year. Here's a representative example of what happens: Family member of mine had a major surgery and I just needed one weekend to go back home and support my family without feeling like I was abondoning my girlfriend. She told me to go and that I could call her any time.
I called her once at about 10:30pm to tell her things were looking up and hear about her day. Not only did she not answer, but she called back about an hour later with a crisis of her own. She had gone out to a bar (I HATE when she drinks, but I don't know how to tell her that), and she thought she saw some people in a potential abusive situation, so she followed them around alone and drunk. After they went home she asked me if she should call the police or someone else. In the end she did nothing except spend the rest of the night crying and feeling bad about not doing more.
An episode like this happens once or twice a week. My girl's amazing, and I love being her support structure (she's an INFP, I'm an ISFJ). But sometimes I really need a break from the crusades and emotional breakdowns. I'm worried about the day she brings me something I can't help her with, or the next time she does something to get herself hurt.
She misses class and deadlines, pays for online RPGs, then complains about money, and drinks heavily 3-4 times a week. I don't want to give her some kind of ultimatum, I don't want to make things worse for her. But I don't think it's right that when I'm not with her, I have the same feeling a mother would have leaving her 10-year-old at home alone.
I don't see her learning from her mistakes or maturing. Will she ever? Or is she the type of person who eternally moves from one emergency to another?
TL;DR:
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Girlfriend trades one crisis for another for the past year. Is this a rough patch, or an aspect of her personality?
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SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by not knowing my own name until I was ten.
POST: I have a similar story to a recent post here, but not quite as long as a 29 year one. Also this was not today. My name is Samuel, but until I was about 10 I didn't realise this. Everyone had called me Sam all my life and that's how I had learned to write my name. One day in primary school I was looking at the list of the class's names in the wall (to have stickers and stuff put next too if we had done well in something) and couldn't find my one. I did however see the name Samuel and started laughing as I had read it as if it was pronounced "Samool" and was looking around for the poor fucknuckle with that name.
TL;DR:
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I didn't realise my name was Samuel instead of just Sam. Thought there was a kid in my class called Samool and felt bad for them.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [28M] have been dating this girl [26F] for a couple of months and now shes been distant the past couple of days
POST: So I have been seeing this girl for a couple of months on and off, but the past couple of weeks we really hit it off, we've both told each other we really like each other, and we've been intimate. We've been texting just about every day and she also initiates many of the conversations.
We were supposed to meet up a couple of days ago, but she cancelled last minute and said she had a lot to do, and that was the only thing she said. I was bummed but obviously if she's busy then there's not much I can do, but I do know it was her day off, and we had even talked on the phone the prior evening to discuss plans for meeting up.
I had hoped to hear from her later since we had been talking a lot prior to this, but I heard nothing so I texted her the next day and asked if everything was alright, and she said yea, but she was just busy.
Obviously she could just be really busy, but given our past interactions it seems like she would still have time to text here and there or try and schedule another time to hang out.
I just want to know if it would be a bad idea to shoot her a message and ask if she's still interested because it seems like something has been off? My friends tell me I should just wait for her to message me, but I feel like if the relationship is going to work then I should be able to talk to her about my concerns openly and if it scares her away then maybe it wasn't mean to be. Waiting also sucks cause who knows how long it could take for her to say anything, if she ever does...
TL;DR:
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Should I reach out to her and try to see if she's still interested or just wait for her to reach out to me?
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SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: Entry level Advice: NYC
POST: Hi New Yorkers,
I am a recent college graduate who has been working part-time and volunteering at a non-profit back home in the suburbs. Ive recently been offered a position at a firm in New York. Its office grunt work with the possibility of advancement (hopefully) in a field that I am not really interested in anymore. The pay is 18/hr but Im not capped at 40 hours a week so I can work more to offset costs.
Math Break Down
Salary if working 40 hours a week- $34,560
Correct me if I am wrong but actual earnings after Federal and State Taxes- $20,960
Im asking for advice because at the moment, Im more interested in finding a market research position because that is what I want to do in the future. Although, I do not have experience in this field but I will be working on projects at my volunteer work that may touch on this.
Im torn right now, New York is an amazing place, my girlfriend and some of my friends are there. However, I dont just want to take this job because its the only one that has hired me. Now I understand the job market and I should be super excited but I have student loans to pay and if I leave the suburbs, Im on my own, parental support will be limited to phone calls, visits, and emergency situations only.
I understand this is a lot to read but I really could use some advice. I want to move on to full time work but should I hold out for a position or internship in the field I want to do.
TL;DR:
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Recent Graduate wants to move to NYC for entry level position at pre-tax 34k in a field that is not interesting to him. But needs experience, can he survive on that or should he hold out for something better?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18/F] with my SO[19/M] of 1 year and a half, have had trouble with personal information
POST: So I recently got a job that required me to get a TB test. My TB skin test turned out to be positive. I told him(my SO) and he asked if he needed to get tested. I said maybe and I was going to get a chest scan because my skin test may be a false positive.
Anyways he is living at a friends parents house along with the parents sister and family. The sister has a child who has a low immune system.
When I called him after I got off work he had told me that when he told everyone a few people freaked out.
I am angry that he shared that with everyone (parents, friends, and sisters family) It was personal and it seemed he stepped over his boundaries telling everyone the same day I found out.
I found our I had tested positive that day and it was a roller coaster of emotions. It's selfish to say but i just wanted him to ask if I was okay. When I told him I was angry that he told everyone he said that he needed to because I was putting people are jeopardy. It ended with me saying ill talk to him on Monday.
I would understand if I was completely positive and refused to tell anyone about TB(even with the young boy) It would be okay for him to tell the sisters family for the sake of the child.
All in all I am angered that he told everyone that I -had- TB because it is not certain yet, it hurt my feelings(embarassment, I have met then less than 5 times), and I wished he would have asked me or told me that he was telling them.
How do you feel about this situation?
TL;DR:
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Boyfriend told friends family(parents, parents sisters, friends) about my positive Tb skin test. Felt it was crossing a line of trust.
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SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: Ankle and foot pain when not running, but no pain when running.
POST: I'm trying to determine if I should go to the doctor. Has anyone else experienced this? When I run, I feel fine. When I'm not running, the sides of my ankles hurt and feel really tight, and the tops of my feet hurt. Yesterday I was wearing shoes with a low heel, and it all really hurt. When I got home and took off my shoes, my ankles and tops of my feet were a little bit swollen. Today, I'm wearing higher heels (boots with a chunky heel), and they don't hurt as badly. (I know, I probably shouldn't be wearing heels, but it seems like the lower the shoe, the more painful my ankles. Plus, I sit down most of the time at work.) This leads me to believe that perhaps my muscles are just really tight and I need to do different/better/more stretches? Not sure if I should go to the doctor or just skip my next run (tomorrow) and next week cut back on my distance. I think what happened is I was sick at the beginning of the year and didn't run for two weeks. When I started back, I didn't cut much off of my time/distance. Before I was sick, I was running 2.5 miles 3 days a week. I could do that in about 35 minutes. No problems with ankle/foot pain. After coming back from being sick, I only cut back to 2 miles at a time, in about 29-30 minutes. Maybe I should've started with a mile and a half? I know it's not a lot of distance, but I just finished the C25k in December. I'm not a small person, but running has helped me lose almost 10 lbs since the fall, and I don't want that to come back. My running sneakers are only a few months old, so I don't think the age of them has anything to do with it. Plus, the path I've been running on most of the time has lots of hills, and maybe I should've stuck with the flat one at first.
TL;DR:
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ankles and feet fucking hurt when I'm not running but feel fine when I am. Has anyone experienced this? Should I go see a doctor?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend [29/F] just broke up with me [22/M] and her reasons are confusing. Is there something I can do?
POST: A bit about me: Self-employed, low on work. kind of at slow point in my life. live in a house on my parents property.
A bit about her: currently on medical leave, french teacher. successful.
She and I had been dating since late november of 2014, but I have cared about her very very much. She has been through alot, including rehab (she struggled with drugs and depression most of her life) last month, but I knew who she really was deep down and was there for her and supported her through it all. After struggling through those times, a few nights ago I told my best friend how I finally felt that I was very happy with how the relationship was going and that I felt good and confidant. She always told me how much she loved me, and i her. I felt that she really meant it
Two nights ago I took her bowling with me, for her to meet some of my friends for the first time. (theyre near my age). After taking her home that night, I could tell something was bothering her, and it turned out to be the age difference and how it makes her uncomfortable.
In her words "I dont mind our ages when its just us" and that "i should be with some young girl my age" and later on she said "Im at a point in my life that im finally ready for a house and family and stuff".
I told her numerous times that I think shes beautiful and that her age means nothing to me.
The day before she literally sent me a text saying i "was her dream guy". What changed? I sucks im still at home, and it looks like im a dead end, but I am trying to make things happen
I wish i could say something for her to have faith in me, that i want the same thing. What do I do? I do love her and care about her, but is there nothing I can do to bring myself (or bring her and I) to the same level?
I'll answer any other questions
TL;DR:
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good relationship, says im dream guy, breaks up with me a day later, says shes ready for a house and start a family after meeting my friends
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: The guy I'm subletting my apartment from is now camping in my kitchen-- What can I do!?!?!?!
POST: I rented an apartment for three months (paid in full) from this guy who was supposed to be going to Switzerland for an artist residency. I had my doubts that he would be going because his art sucks, but I figured even if he wasn't in Switzerland he wouldn't be living in his apartment because he had subletters (another guy is also subletting the other bedroom).
Well, I was wrong and he's now been camping in (sleeping, living, never leaving) my kitchen for nearly two weeks. The kitchen is tiny and there's hardly any counter space for food prep under normal circumstances and now it's all been taken over by his shit. He sleeps in front of the refrigerator and with my weird schedule I often come home wanting dinner and I find that I can't even open the fridge let alone use the stove!
What can I do! I asked him this morning when he would be leaving and he freaked out, screaming that it was his apartment, his kitchen, and told me I had to leave a week eariler than we had previously agreed.
We don't have a written agreement, I only have our emails and a copy of the rent check (with "three months rent" written in the memo line). Do I have any rights? I really don't want to get a lawyer because it's not worth it, but I am furious.
TL;DR:
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I have a hobo (the guy I'm subletting from) living in my kitchen. what can I do?
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: BT Broadband, are they having a laugh?
POST: My parents home internet is provided by BT, (British Telecom). Our subscription is an unlimited package, with 8Mb download and unlimited usage.
The last few months the speed of our line has decresed dramatically, almost to the point that it has become unusable for most internet applications, such as youtube, streaming and any form of downloads.
This is a recent [speedtest](
I have been in contact with BT numerous times about the problems, but they insist there is nothing wrong with the connection, and I have checked any possible hardware problems, such as router, cordless phones, ADSL Splitters being faulty....
Every time I call them to complain, they insist that the line is operating at 8128 Kbps Down, and 448 Kbps Up.
This is clearly **NOT** the case.
All they do when I call is tell me the IP profile of the line, which they are obviously not aware, is different from the actual sync. speed. I have tried to tell them this, but when I do, they simply say that they do not detect any problems, and that they do not accept tests such as speedtest.net as a valid test.
When I asked them to explain why streaming from youtube and downloads of files were so slow, they tried to make me believe that those sites were suffering from congestion... haha. Youtube, having upload issues?...I think **NOT** maybe one day out of the year, but not everyday.
This has been going on for a few months now, and frankly, it has left me and other users in the house feeling rather angry and frustrated at BT. Has anyone on here had a similar experience with the same (or any) ISP, and how did you get the problem solved?
I reckon if we threaten to switch providers they may snap out of it and actually help us. They have been charging us £35+ a month for this "Broadband" which by FCC standards does not even count as broadband. I see this as extortion, and clearly a breach of their service agreement.
TL;DR:
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internet is slow, ISP is denying that they are to blame, need advice on what to ask/say to them to get them to help.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Possible new relationship....but she is pregnant, what do I do?
POST: I'm getting into a relationship that I [22M] never really thought would happen. I'm a guy and I've known this girl [22F] since high school. We were in the same graduating class, and we worked at the same place after high school. We even went to the same college and had a few classes together. We had been friends through all of this but she had an on/off boyfriend the whole time, and i had been in a semi-serious relationship for 3 years. Anyway she joined the military and was gone for 6 or so months and her and said boyfriend break up for real.
During this break up we get a lot closer and start kind of getting closer sexually too. At this point for me she was just that friend I always had, but I felt like it was becoming more. Then, brace for it, she gets back with her ex and ends up getting pregnant. So they try to work it out for the sake of the baby. But like a thousand times before, they broke up. Now we are getting close like we were before, and this has been going on for a month and a half or so.
What I need advice on is if I should continue to further my relationship with her and how? I mean I do like her and care about her. But idk how we could possibly have anything real with her having another guys kid. I don't want to get invested with her, and then end up getting hurt by her going back to the baby daddy. I don't know what to do. Help me please.
TL;DR:
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Girl next door and I are finally both single and talking again, but she is pregnant and I'm scared about getting hurt.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I 24[M] am not sure if I see my Gf [22] as a friend more than anything.
POST: I've been with my Gf now for 3 years and it started of great, had a lot of fun and felt like we were really close, never fought or anything. 2 years down the line and nothings changed - We still rarely fight, see each other a lot (I live 30mins Drive away) and have a holiday booked for summer in Portugal.
She really is a great person, thoughtful, caring, lovely to be with but can be very clingy at times, everyone loves her and says how great she is.
But why can't I shake these feelings?! Like some days we can have a really good time but others I just seem to get wound up notice i'm not making the effort. The sex is alright, we both enjoy it and while she's up for quite a lot of stuff it can be a little boring and repetitive sometimes. I have come to the conclusion recently that perhaps I see her as just a really good friend - enjoy hanging out and stuff but I don't really see a future, I think I do envy the single lifestyle at times.
Two things really concern me though, If I do break up with her its going to really hurt her and I really don't want that, the thought is really upsetting as she's such a great person. Secondly I feel like if I do break up with her I'm going to completely regret my decision and wish I never had, Don't know what you've got until its gone and everything..
I would end with, Should I wait until the end of the holiday, but the indecisive thoughts have been occurring for near on a year now and I'm sure afterwards (Even though I'm sure we'll have a great holiday) they'll be back.
TL;DR:
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Don't know whether I love my Gf as a partner or a friend. Things have been good but I keep getting recurring thoughts of whether I'm truly happy.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Should I get a kitten?
POST: So I'm a real cat lover, was raised with them and always have been, and would really love to have one of my own. I'm also a graduate student and work all the time. I haven't had a cat since I moved out of my parents place before college, and I'm not sure if I will have the time to devote to the thing.
My life: When I'm around town i tend to work ~12 hours a day, ~6 days a week. I have to travel here and there a few times a term. I have a roomate (who isn't really a cat person but isn't opposed either) who can help out, and friends as well.
I know theres so many cats out there that get put down because of lack of people who want them. Does anyone have advice on raising a cat in graduate school or with a job that demands many hours away from home each day? Anything else you think I should consider?
TL;DR:
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I want a cat but I have a very busy life, not sure if I could give it the time it deserves. Thoughts?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Well... things went south fast ([16/m] worried about [16/f]'s past, Should I remain Interested?)
POST: (16, male, high school, Central coast of California) Recently I've been talking to a girl I've been interested in. Was ready to ask if we could hangout some time and maybe go surfing then grab a bite (start dating). As I was talking to her she seemed almost bipolar, staring intensely into my eye's having an awesome conversation with hints being dropped by both of us, then the next time I talk to her she's almost ignoring me. Rinse and repeat at different levels of interest and disinterested. I thought nothing of it cus that's nothing on it's own, then as I talked with her friends, talked to her more and learned about her past a little more. I have been able to deduce through my extensive dating experience (not really) that her life has been mildly to moderately painful. Like she's been through shit, but haven't we all, not like this, I can tell what ever it is left scars. I'm not in the business of making repairs so what should I do? I do have some details and some of the bigger picture of what happened but no one I know knows more then a few things.
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I was talking to a girl and was ready to start dating, found out some stuff about her past and don't know any more if I should still be talking to her?
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Real talk Reddit, I need some advice on what to do with my life.
POST: I don't want to write a huge block of text about shit you won't care about, so I'll try to make this as concise as possible. I'm also not really an expert when it comes to formatting so this post might look weird.
I'm an eighteen year old living in Seattle with my Dad and I'm currently attending a community college via running start to make up a bunch of credits that I failed during my freshman and sophomore years of high school. Technically I'm a super senior, but that's not what bothers me. What bothers me is my lack of a job, passion, and any kind of motivation to do anything productive. I also feel like I've screwed up my potential to have a fulfilling life, because I fucked up my transcript so terribly in high school. Is there any way for me to remedy my situation? Any advice would be appreciated!
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I screwed up my high school transcripts beyond repair and am currently attending a cc to make up credits. Is there anyway I can still have a good future? or have I doomed myself to a life of working in fast food?
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: [Serious] Redditors who are (or have been) in open marriages; What are your experiences?
POST: My wife just had her first extramarital date. It was worth an old friend of hers, and they slept together.
We came to this agreement mutually, several months ago, where we could sleep with other people, as long as certain rules were followed:
* Protection would always be used.
* No always means no.
* The other spouse has to know about the event.
* Any emotion that comes up will be discussed openly between us.
All of this being said, I am not sure how I feel right now. Last night, I felt very isolated & alone. I'm kind of sad, but at the same time, I'm glad that my wife got attention that she felt she wasn't getting from me (even though we had sex 2 nights ago).
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Wife & I are in an open marriage, but after she slept with someone on their first date, I'm conflicted.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Update. I(18m) like a girl (17f) who is dating a friend of mine (18m).
POST: Original post
So after everything, John and I had a heart to heart so to speak. After laughing in my face for a few minutes, he offered me a deal, because "I'm his best friend" and "she's just some chick". He said he would call her and break up with her right then and there if I wanted, but only on two conditions, the 1st is that he gets to slap me as hard as he can one time. Whenever he wants, because I'm being a little butch about it. And 2, I have to agree right now to some unnamed favor in the future, and if I Welch on the favor, he gets to slap me again.
I told him that I needed a day to think about it. He just laughed and said don't take too long and made humping motions in the air.
He and I are cool again, I don't know if taking the deal is the right thing to do, I don't know if she even likes me back. We. I tried to talk to her about it she kind of dodged the question. I asked her if I had asked her out instead of john, what would she have said, she just kind of laughter and said, I'll never tell in a sing song voice.
What should I do?
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My friend John offered me a deal for him to break up with Lena. I don't know if I should take it.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [27/F] have a friend [24/F](friend of 5 years)who is a compulsive liar and gossiper. I want to end the friendship, how to proceed?
POST: I have a friend who's a compulsive liar. Normally she tells stories about herself that aren't true and I just brush it off and don't engage in her lie.
She also is a huge gossiper. Every time I'm around her she's telling me personal and private details about everyone else. So I don't really trust telling her anything.
Lately, I've had mutual friends approach me who are "concerned" about me. Even work colleagues and management has pulled me aside for questioning. For whatever reason this friend has told a group of people that I am doing hard drugs.
It's just such a bizarre thing, I don't know why someone would make something like this up. I don't really think there's an answer besides "she just likes attention and likes making up stories".
In turn, it makes me question a lot of things she's told me about other people. She's probably been lying about people for quite some time and just never got caught. Fortunately, I have a good group of friends who called her bluff and warned me about her.
She constantly sends me messages about how I'm her best friend and how she's glad she has someone in her life who doesn't share her personal business with others. It's almost laughable considering she's always gossiping about others and making up rumors.
I'm so frustrated with her. Somehow word got out to my employer and I was asked to do a drug test. Which I did, and passed. I don't even care if they drug test me randomly for the rest of my life but it's just super aggravating. (P.S. I live in a state with medical marijuana so that'd be the only thing to ever pop up lol)
Should I tell her I found out she was spreading lies about me? I feel like this may backfire because she'll know what friends told me and then they're all in this weird friend fight because of me.
Or should I just simply say I can't be friends with her anymore because I don't trust her? Or just stop communication with her ASAP and don't reach out to her?
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Should I explain to my friend why I don't want to be friends anymore or should I just cut her off cold turkey?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19/M] don't know how to talk to my girlfriend [21/F] about her blatantly flirting with others infront of me.
POST: I'm having a little internal struggle here. For some backgorund, I'm never a jealous kind of guy. My girlfriend has friends who are guys, and I have friends who are girls. We both don't get jealous and it makes us work great because we both hated dating our exes who were both extremely jealous. Lately there has been a couple guys pursuing her. They know she has a boyfriend but they don't stop, they ask her on dates, try and touch her, etc. She is honest and tells me, and I appreciate that and I trust her, knowing she'd never go behind my back.
Here's where things got weird today. I went to the school pub with a friend for a beer, and I saw her at a table with people from her group in one of her classes, including these guys that keep pursuing her. I noticed she acts towards them in ways she's never acted towards me, ever. Typical flirting actions, leaning in to talk to them, laughing at every joke, smiling big, especially playing with her hair whenever they're talking to her. And that threw me off.
So I don't know how to approach her, because I've never felt jealousy like this. And I know she doesn't like jealous guys. Do I tell her it bugs me and theres no wonder these guys are into her? Do I ask her if she was trying to make me jealous? Any advice from you guys would be appreciated.
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I don't know how to talk to my girlfriend that it bugs me how she flirts with guys who have been trying to make a move on her, and continue to even though they know she has a boyfriend.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend dumped me and now uses me for rides to work
POST: I'd like to apologize ahead of time for lack of formatting, it's been a rough month.
Ex girlfriend [18] and I [19] dated for a year.
She broke up with me on our anniversary because she "wasn't happy anymore," (I think she found someone else) and it hurt of course. I had a huge anniversary date planned and she comes over to my apartment and dumps me on the spot. I was heartbroken.
Fast forward 2 weeks, she texts me at 1 in the morning trying to strike a deal where she gives me gas money for driving her to work. I reluctantly agree. Things go okay for about two days when I start really wanting her back so I muster up the courage to ask her if she'll give me another chance. She says no because she doesn't think things will change.
Now fast forward 3 days, my best friend gets hit by a train and dies. I absolutely lost it, i was already in a deep state of depression already and this just sent me over the edge. Ex girlfriend with her lack of sympathy for anything doesn't understand that the last thing I need is to see the girl I thought I would be with forever everyday to drive her to work.
I guess I'm just a pushover because I can't get rid of her.
Any advice?
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Girlfriend of 1 year breaks up with me on our anniversary. Makes me drive her around. Best friend dies in horrible accident, ex girlfriend doesn't care and forces me to drive her everywhere anyway
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [18/F] learn to trust my [18/M] boyfriend of 2 years?
POST: I have trouble becoming attached to people, even friends that I've known for a few years, and my parents. I feel like my boyfriend is the first person I have gotten to know and have become attached to. Maybe even too attached.
He lives about 5 hours away, I can't drive, he can drive but had strict parents and no car. We go to boarding school, so we see each other every day and then don't see each other over breaks and summer (3 months). During breaks, I don't know any of his friends and we only communicate over text. He's always been the kind of guy to have more female friends than male friends. This didn't used to bother me that much. However, we're going to be seniors in high school and he's started hanging out with people who drink and smoke and party, and again, I don't know any of them. He goes to movies with his female friends and has even told me that his mom thinks he's cheating on me because he's hung out at (don't know how many, either one or two) female friends' houses until midnight.
This part sounds bad, but I've seen what they look like and I'm not really intimidated. I'm just worried that hanging out with these girls who are so different from me will change him somehow and make him want to date more normal girls.
What I'm most worried about though is emotional cheating. I hate seeing her comment on a picture of his or vice-versa. I hate thinking about them texting each other, and I imagine them texting until late at night, while he sends me short answers and goes to bed at like midnight.
So um, really long. We've had a lot of talks lately, and I don't want to push his patience with another one. I just want to know what I can do to improve myself and become strong enough to not compulsively worry about him.
He still occasionally calls me cute and hot and agrees that we're going to have a lot of sexy times when we see each other again. But I just worry that I'm not enough.
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I worry a lot about my boyfriend emotionally cheating on me while we have been unable to see each other for almost 3 months.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[26F] with my boyfriend [36M] 6 months, he has a tattoo from a previous relationship, worried about Thanksgiving w/ parents
POST: So, my boyfriend is recently divorced, and he's got a wedding ring tattoo from that marriage (young, stupid, etc.). He is planning to get it removed, but he's got kids so there's always something else to spend the money on. It was never a top priority for him, before I came along.
I'm his first real relationship since the divorce, and we've gotten fairly serious in the last few months, and we'll have been together 10 months total by November. I want him to come home with me for Thanksgiving to meet my parents, BUT they are already not big fans of tattoos, so this is going to be a BIG deal to them. Basically, they'll think he's an idiot for having it.
They haven't really liked the other guys I've brought home, for good reason, but I really love this guy and I want them to like him. I'd like this one to stick around for good, and I don't want them disparaging him behind our backs like they did my sister's husband. And apart from the stupid tattoo, I think they'll absolutely adore him.
So, I guess I'm not sure if we should figure some way to cover the tattoo (makeup? His wedding ring and just come up with some reason he still wears it?) or wait until next year to introduce him to the parents?
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Boyfriend has a wedding ring tattoo from a previous relationship; Should I find a way to avoid showing it to my parents at Thanksgiving, or just skip this year and bring him next year when it's gone?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [21 F] deal with roommates from hell [20F's]
POST: I currently live with two girls in an apartment.
They are lazy. They don't ever take out the trash and they will let piles of trash bags lay in the hall for months before they take them out. They eat my food. Dishes will pile up in the sink when we have a dishwasher they don't think to use. They have boys over all the time and I have to hear them have sex often (very thin walls). And now the one is starting to not pay her share in utility bills.
I cannot move out because I'm on a year lease until August. Trying to talk to them or drop hints at them about helping out around the place and such does not help. I don't know what to do at this point.
How can I deal with awful roommates?
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Live with 2 girls who are lazy, messy and starting not to pay share in bills. Talking to them doesn't help. How I can deal with them?
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Help settle a bet on the square - rectangle relationship.
POST: A friend and I had a bet revolving around the whole "a square is a rectangle but a rectangle is not a square."
I was thinking that the fact that a rectangle is not a square is not always true as there is a specific case in which a rectangle is a square, when both congruent sides are of the same length. They told me that was just called a square but I disagree. A rectangle is defined as a shape with four sides, opposite sides being congruent and four right angles. So by that definition, I could draw a square and label it a rectangle as it is that single case in which the inverse of the "square is a rectangle" statement is true.
Your thoughts?
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A square is a rectangle. A rectangle however is only a square in a single case, that four sides are equal. Correct? So the original saying is flawed.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Conflicting situation with best friend [f20] and boyfriend [m20] who don't really get along.
POST: So long story short both me and the BF (been together almost 2 years) are both going home for break, he lives across the state while I only live about an hour away from the uni we both attend. He will be flying back to stay with me at my family's house for the last week, which we agreed on a month ago.
Fast forward to this week, my best friend who moved across the country for college that I don't get to see often wants to come visit for two weeks, and without thinking I got so excited and said yes but it turns out to be the same weeks that my BF will be there, and the week that we go back to school. My boyfriend wasn't happy about the situation, this has come up before with the same friend and it was a bit of an awkward third wheel situation, my friend got kind of possessive of me, which was uncomfortable for my bf as he is on the shy side. It would be easier if they got along better.
I explained to my friend that my boyfriend will be there, and that I want to be able to spend quality time with her and not neglect her or the BF, since its hard to have quality "girl time" which we are both used to when we are together, but she still wants to come and visit with my fam and her other friends from home.. I don't want to deny her that and I do really want to see her but I'm afraid it will make everyone uncomfortable and it won't be fun.. What should I do? I know I need to talk to my friend but I don't want to hurt her feelings or make her feel like im choosing my bf over her. Any tips on how to handle bf/bff friction?
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My long distance bff wants to visit while my bf is visiting over break and Im afraid it will be awkward and stressful but I don't want to turn her down. What should I do?
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SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I think I'm in a toxic relationship
POST: I will preface this saying there have been other issues and fights but today was my tipping point.
Lately I've been working real hard trying to provide for my wife and I; got a new job with better pay, paid off all credit card debts, etc. Talking to my wife about the future and moving soon and starting a family has got us really excited.
My wife has MS and while she isn't on any medication she has found relief in marijuana. While I'm ok with the usage of marijuana recreationally or medically I don't think it should used as a crutch. Currently she smokes 24/7 and does absolutely nothing around the house. I work 9/5 come home have to clean, do the laundry and cook dinner every single night. I'm not saying thats her job or anything and I know she's sick but she should have to hold her share of this relationship. It feels like I'm living with a roommate.
While the notion of starting a family has me excited at first, I mention to her that if we do decide to go through with having a family she would have to stop smoking weed. Initially she agrees and stops. Now after a few days she has become so unbearable to be around to the point I don't want to go home anymore. She's constantly yelling at me and the dogs, throwing things and threatining to hurt herself all because she's in pain.
I've offered to take her to the hospital, or even the regular doctor to get some actual medical help but she refuses.
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This relationship has left me a broken, beaten shell of a man I never knew. I can't fight anymore I just can't
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (23F) just found all my father's (42M) personal info online. What now?
POST: As my username suggests, I was raised by a single mom. I was playing around with google search trying to see if I could find a picture from my mom's high school graduation and ended up playing around on whitepages. My therapist has been asking if I was ever interested in talking to my father a lot recently so I searched not expecting anything. I found my father's current phone number and address. I don't know what to do with this information now though.
I feel conflicted on reaching out. I have a very unique name and if he were interested in me he would have contacted me. I just feel burdened by having this information and don't know what to do with it. I think I'm most troubled by the fact I grew up in the same town and he was there the whole time living a separate life. I always imagined he would have moved.
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I found my absent father's phone number. Father's day is soon. Could say "Hi" or "Fuck you." Or continue ghosting.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: SO F[18] told me M[19] that she feels an emotional connection with someone.
POST: We have been together for almost a year and a half and last night she told me that she feels like she has an emotional connection with her friend as well (I don't know who this person is). She said it just sits there and she doesn't do anything about it and it hasn't bothered her so far, but felt kind of overwhelmed by it last night. Apparently thoughts pass through her maybe as often as once a day, which she described mostly as what-ifs such as what if I had never come around, etc.
I'm her first long term relationship, everything else has only been hookups for for a couple of months. She thinks that she may be having these thoughts because she found shorter term relationships fun before she started looking for getting serious with someone.
She told me that she doesn't see him as someone she could be with for a long term relationship, maybe only a few months, but is confused as to what we should do and so am I.
If the thoughts continue to overwhelm her, I think she would eventually have to choose between severing their friendship and severing our relationship. Even if they don't overwhelm her again, I'd be concerned that it may become a problem again, though I can't say for sure.
Has this happened to anyone before? Am I missing something in my thoughts about this? What are your thoughts? Thank you in advance.
TL;DR:
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SO told me she has "what-if" thoughts about her friend and we're both confused as to how to proceed
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My best friend (21F) just told me (20F) that she's pregnant and I'm not happy about it.
POST: So, my best friend (21F) gathered her closest friends together tonight to announce that she's pregnant and none of us really reacted the way she hoped because no one was excited.
She first got pregnant at 15, miscarried, and has had strings of relationships since then. She has been engaged twice and has awful taste in men, but she falls very hard and fast. As her friend, I feel like I have to be the person to protect her sometimes because she doesn't protect herself. She "falls in love" with every guy she dates and gets hurt badly, which is normal for a twenty-year old.
The relationship she's currently in is 2 months old and she just told me that she's 7 weeks pregnant. She's moving in with the father in May and they were discussing engagements and how much they loved each other after their first date. Honestly, I haven't supported the relationship because she's always been shady about it. I don't think a baby is a good enough reason to get married, but she does.
She's currently upset because I wasn't excited for her baby, but I didn't know how to respond. Am I being a terrible friend or is this a normal response?
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My best friend (21F) is having a baby with a man that she's been dating for two months and I don't know if my cautious, non-congratulatory response was normal
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What's the most terrifying thought to ever cross your mind?
POST: When I was younger, I used to think most difficult things were entirely a matter of willpower, things such as death could be avoided by just keeping your eyes open and staying awake. One day when I was about 14 I had to have surgery, and I was surprised at how quickly I went under after I was administered anesthesia. It opened my eyes at just how quickly you can just slip out of consciousness and possibly not return. When the thought hit me, an intense feeling of dread came over me and I just couldn't shake it. Every so often when I was lying in bed, I'd get to thinking again and keep myself up at night just thinking about what death and the moments leading up to it would feel like. It still happens every now and then, but it doesn't hit me nearly as hard.
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I was a blissfully ignorant kid who thought death was easily avoidable until reality bitch slapped me and made me think about dying and stuff.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28] don't know if I should continue to fight for my anxious [28] gf
POST: Hi,
My gf had a hard childhood, raised in the family where she was forced to be religious and her parents had a very bad relation with a lot of violence and disrespect.
Her sister where also forced to marry someone she doesn't love. Basicly there's no happy lovers around her..
Since I knew her she was a commitment phobic, she feel insecure and anxious when it comes to engagement.
I have been with my gf for more than 5 years,she is wonderful but can't believe that two pple can live happily together.
Recently we broke up because her family putted a lot of pressure on engagement and she doesn't feel ready, I thought she is not that onto me and asked for breackup.
Two days ago i read a conversation(i know I shouldn't but anyway) between her and her best friend and she was telling her that I'm the love of her life and the ideal man but she feels powerless against her fears.
I feel that I want to continue with her, that I don't want to replace her, so we agreed to meet next week and talk about it.. Am I right to fight for my love?
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recently broke up with anxious gf but she says im the man of her life, should I try to take her back again
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18/F] need help with my [18/M] boyfriend of 2 years in terms of in the bedroom
POST: My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years now. Recently, he's joined the Army and is going to get Holiday leave for 2 weeks! I'm really excited but there's a problem I'm having..
I can't have vaginal sex. I don't know why, I just can't. The idea of doing it really freaks me out and whenever we get close to trying I feel like I'll faint and we stop and he's been really understanding about all of this.
We have done oral and anal and I know for sure that I'm ready to do the deed but I get too freaked out!
I think it has a lot to do with what my friends have told me and the stories I've read about the bleeding and how much it hurts, etc., but I don't know any solutions.
I don't just want to have sex because he's coming home, but after a really stressful school semester and I'm sure he's been worn out, too, I feel like it would be good to try again. Except this time I want to go through with it and actually experience it.
Thanks, guys. Any help will be appreciated!
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I can't have vaginal sex with my boyfriend because I panic and feel faint, but I'm ready to do so and need tips on how to get over it.
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SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by leaving the cooker on and nearly burning down my house.
POST: 23 years old male here.
So, yesterday I bought a hand warmer like [this](
It's a plastic bag with a liquid substance in it. When you activate it, the liquid slowly becomes solid and the bag emanates some warm for 30mins.
To use it again, you have to liquify the substance inside, and you do that by putting it in warm, boiling water.
What happened today is: I left the hand warmer to liquify in a cooker with a moderate flame below and left it there. It takes about 10mins they say, so I go check my email and stuff. One hour and an half pass by. I enter the kitchen to eat but as soon as I open the door I see this kind of white-ish air, and notice a terrible smell of burnt plastic. I go to the kitchen and see a black substance in the pot and nothing else. The smell there becomes atrocious. So, I shut down the flames, open the windows. 6 hour pass. The air is normal but the smell is still there.
The thing is my parents went outside the whole day today. They will take any chance to remind me of how I couldn't live alone and shit, as they've done in the past when things way less severe happened.
So with all the determination and will power in the world, I stay for an hour and an half cleaning the floor, the walls, the kitchen.
My parents return and the smell is gone away.
Or at least it seemed like so.
Right now, 3 hour after my parents arrived, I have just entered the room and the smell reappeared real strong, after the room has been closed for 3 hours.
How the fuck is this possible and how can I get rid of it?
Shit. I'm fucked.
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Left a hand warmer to liquify. It became vapor. Smells like shit. Trust from my parents is about to be broken for an year or two.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Ugh, I'm an idiot (f34) (m31)
POST: Not a throwaway cos it doesn't matter, nothing to hide, I'm just a total nutjob.
I (f34) have been dating literally the most awesome guy (m32) for 2 months. New relationship but totally fun and awesome, I love him and I know he does..did...love me too.
He has awful migraines, something I'm new to and don't know much about, I have aspergers (diagnosed, 1 year) which makes me a social idiot (UNDERSTATEMENT)
I was supposed to see him three times last week and each of those days he was struck with migraines. Unfortunately, I'd had a crap time too, lots of doctor and psychiatrist meetings, and I passed out with exhaustion in a supermarket.
I'm generally ok with him postponing through illness, but because my week was so tough, I ended up working myself up with loneliness and convinced myself he was making up his illness as an excuse to not see me (not true) and I had a huge meltdown and texted him nasty shit, things I don't even mean.
I called him later still mid-epi and he quite rightly told me he wasn't going to talk to me.
I woke the next day feeling awful and in utter disbelief I could be such a bitch to this guy I love everything about.
He hasn't replied, it's been 3 days since meltdown, one day since apology text.
I'm praying he's in his man cave, I'm probably right in thinking I've lost someone who meant everything to me because of my idiot aspie crappy broken stupid brain.
Ugh. I'm an idiot.
TL;DR:
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bf has migraines, im diagnosed aspie, meltdown equalled nasty texts I didn't mean, now he won't respond after apology. I messed up big time.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 31m/27f Struggling to see long term
POST: We live together. We have since last year but a good portion of that we were separated by long distance requirements. He JUST returned home and I can't shake the feeling that we're not going to make it. The two main things eating at me are his attitude (he complains a lot, about mostly minor things, without realizing he's even doing it) and his living habits. He is incredibly sloppy. His belongings are scattered throughout the house. I am a neat freak... I feel overwhelming anxiety when things are not orderly. When I first moved in I helped him get his belongings in better order but here we are almost a year later and while he doesn't hoard he does just leave things on every possible clean surface of the house. I love him dearly, but these two things are really really shutting me down from him emotionally. I don't know what to do because everything has been discussed more than once. I'm not perfect and I don't think he needs change on my behalf but should I just accept that these things are deal breakers for me? I'd really hate for that to be the case. I'm thinking about moving out but keeping our relationship if he's open to it... I just need to get myself in a better place financially first.
TL;DR:
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bf is like a grumpy old man and is sloppy... two things im struggling to come to terms with. I love him to pieces but I feel like I'm on the verge of packing up and leaving
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19F] with my this guy [21 M], I like him but don't know if I'm that physically attracted to him?
POST: I met this great guy about 2 weeks ago and the first date we went on went amazingly well, almost too good to be true type amazing. We just got on so well and clicked, there was instant feelings there and i just really liked him.
The second time we saw each other (less than a week later), suddenly i didn't feel as physically attracted to him, i know its so shallow but i just started noticing these flaws like his nose or his hairline, or his chin and it started to bother me. I was questioning if i was actually attracted to him physically, even though he has an amazing personality.
i know we've only been out twice, maybe I'm overthinking things, but i feel like at this stage should i not have that kind of 'cant stop thinking about them' thing going on? usually when i like a guy i get like that and feel on top of the world for weeks but i haven't got that yet, which is weird cause i feel such a connection with him
Im so confused.
TL;DR:
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Seeing a guy, really liked everything about him at first, we get on so well, second date, suddenly questioned if i found him physically attractive.
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SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: My Thoughts on Life After Weight Loss
POST: I've always liked reading articles about people who have reached 'the other side', so I sometimes look up articles on life after the weight loss. I came across this:
I'm reading it and although it is a little bit demotivating and disappointing, I have to say something about this.
The person described in the article claims that nothing has changed, that her life and problems are the same.
Here's my two cents: Firstly, she had a gastric bypass surgery. I think that alone explains her view of her new, post-obese life. Unlike people on /r/loseit or /r/getfit or even my favourite /r/keto, she, and people who underwent gastric bypass surgery (except for those whose lives were hanging in the balance; to me, that would then justify choosing this procedure); these people did not work for it like we are doing now.
They did not put in the effort and made the necessary MENTAL changes that were required for such an endeavor.
So to me, for people to undergo surgery when they do not need it to actually continue living (like some 600 pound man stuck in his home, for instance), are faced with an empty victory. Their bodies change but their minds do not. Hence, the not-so-positive view on their outcomes.
What do you guys think? Again, i think that this surgery, if chosen WITHOUT IT BEING A NECESSITY TO CONTINUE LIVING, is the 'easy way out'. It doesnt require changing mindsets, or erasing bad habits.
Ive said my piece. This has been bothering me for awhile now.
TL;DR:
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woman had gastric bypass surgery, says her new life is no different. believes fat people have been sold a lie. i think that only applies to people like her who take the easy way out.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: A family member stole from me. Now wtf do I do?
POST: Brief history:
I had been room mating with my brother for the last few years (We're both in college). A month ago he moved out with his girlfriend. Yesterday I had to buy something on ebay, so I used our joint paypal (We shared a lot of things, being brothers. Paypal was one of them. It seemed silly at the time to have different accounts since it would all go to the same address. Stupid on reflection, I know). I was curious and looked back through the history and found out that a few months before he moved he had taken my iPod and sold it on ebay.
This hurts, because he has always had money problems, yet every weekend he would drive four hours to see his girlfriend. No one in the family liked her except for me, and I often stuck up for my brother in family arguments. Now he's stolen from me. I don't even give a crap about the ipod, its just glass and plastic, but its the fact that I was living with someone that would do this to me, even after I was literally his only friend (excluding the gf, of course). A lot of thoughts and feelings are spinning around in my head right now and I'm nearly at a loss for words.
What do I do, reddit? Do I confront him? call him? Meet him somewhere? WTF Do I do?
TL;DR:
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close friend (brother) stole from me after I stuck my neck out for him and now I don't know what to do.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [39 M] with my single mom girlfriend [37 M/F] 2 years: Considering calling it quits
POST: Been dating my GF for the last two years.
She is a divorced single mom of two boys 6 & 11
Shares joint custody with ex-husband that lives in the next town (about six miles away)
She has been divorced for five years and they were married for eight years.
There is quite a bit of resentment between her and her ex-husband
We are having some major challenges that have repeated themselves over the last year and a half.
1) She is insanely busy and we only spend one night (Saturday) together. (we do see each other a couple of times through the week)
2) Any plans have to be cleared through the ex who will often change his mind at the last minute. This has happened with big things and little things
3) The older kid is having behavioral issues. Both kids are constantly fighting.
She is a package deal with the kids but the package deal includes the issues with the ex-husband.
Will not be able to change him (he is very resentful towards her).
My choices are to move forward in the relationship and accept the issues/baggage OR to call it quits.
TL;DR:
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Dating single Mom with two kids and debating if I can handle the external pressures. Should I call it quits or embrace the challenge?
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SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by ignoring other TIFUs and slathering my upper thigh in Deep Heat.
POST: May this be a warning to those brave souls who will come after me. The confusion. The pain. The chaos. Why did I think I was different?
I write this as I grit through clenched teeth and pray for forgiveness. TIFU by eagerly applying copious amounts of deep heat to my thigh tonight. Earlier today I felt a pain in my leg and realized I had done something to the muscle. All day I fantasized about slopping some deep heat all over it and stretching it out. Oh the simple pleasures. Well, I finally got home and went to town. In my frenzy I realized I had grazed my balls with the creamy goodness. No worries, it was only slight. I didn't think much of it and went about my business and got dressed - then slowly but surely, there came a glowing warmth, like the embers of a camper's fire being fanned to life in my nether region.
Needless to say what followed was a series of questions: Why am I here? Should I go on? Is it really worth it?
I shall now spend the rest of the evening googling the effects of deep heat on my ability to bear children.
TL;DR:
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Ignored stories of the past. Eagerly slathered where I shouldn't have. Potentially ended my family lineage.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24M] with a girl I'm seeing [22F] - annoyed by FB usage and jealousy
POST: Been seeing this girl for about a month now and we are really hitting it off, she compliments me a ton I her a ton. We seem to really be into each other. Strictly with how we interact with each other, I'd have no reason to be jealous. What has been bothering me is how she uses Facebook.
She as like 1500 friends, seems to just accept literally everyone that adds her. Mostly dudes from places not even near us (out of state, across the country). She likes to post selfies and they are always full of creepy comments like "hey beautiful" "looking good girl" and other creepy flirty stuff. A lot of this comes from old dudes too.
Is it wrong for this to bother me? As far as I can tell she doesn't engage them, but she could be talking to them on Messenger, which I know she's an avid user of.
On top of this I know she likes to visit a local bar with older men that frequent it, and I know she gets hit on constantly. I feel like she likes the attention and it's probably harmless but every time I know she's at the bar I get jealous that she's talking to other guys. And every time I see her creepy Facebook stalkers post on her selfies I cringe and wish she'd delete all these guys and just accept people she actually knows.
If I'm being completely irrational just tell me straight up, I recognize that I am not able to see the situation clearly because I have feelings for her.
TL;DR:
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Girl I'm seeing has many FB stalkers and seems to encourage attention from guys at bar she frequents. Am I baby for letting this bother me? yes [ ] no [ ]
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SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by cursing at my school principal
POST: So, at my school, there's a train station about 300m from the school. I catch the train to school and from school everyday with my friends, as we catch the same train. So anyway, after school today I realise I got out of class late and my trains going to be arriving any minute now. My friend is waiting where my locker is, since we always leave together for the train. He says "Hurry up, our train's coming in, like, 6 minutes dude!". There's not another one we can catch for like another 20mins. So I'm flailing about getting my stuff in and out of my locker like a spastic. I finish up and together we go charging towards the school gates. Now, sort of something that my principal likes to do is stand right next to the gate where everyone comes and leaves from school when they're catching the train, because he likes to check our uniforms are tidy and shit. So, just when we're about to bolt out the gate, someone tugs on my bag. I expect it's my friend Mike that i'm running with, since he was slightly behind because he's a little more slow. So I say "Fuck off mike, we gotta get this train!". And then I hear Mike laughing, so I turn around, and Mike's standing behind the principal, basically rofling, and the principal's still got a hold on my bag, because my uniform looked like someone had smudged dog shit on it. And guess what's even worse? The principals name is Mike aswell.
TL;DR:
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I accidentally cursed at my principal when I was trying to catch a train and got held back at school for a 3hr detention + a 6hr detention on Saturday.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My sister in law is an idiot and I need to convince her of that.
POST: My sister in law, has been dating this guy for about a year off and on. This "man" is a drug dealer, been in trouble with the police three times THIS year, an ILLEGAL alien and he's cheated on her so many times with random guys. ( He states he's bi but its more along the lines of doing anything for meth and weed). My husband is so hurt, he can't even go because she got the license Monday and is getting married Saturday. None of her family supports this marriage, She thinks by getting married he'll become legal. She doesn't care that if he gets cought again he has to go back to mexico and not be allowed to enter the US for ten years. She's only 19, so when he DOES get cought ( its only a matter of time) she wont be able to get a divorce, unless of course she moves to mexico with him. She and I don't get along, but I want her t realize she's is throwing her life away. How can I tell her without coming off as the bitchy sister in law who just wants her to be unhappy?
TL;DR:
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My SIL is marring a drug dealing, low life illegal Mexican who's cheated on her and basically treated her like shit. How do I show her that?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me, my long-term SO, and possible Misophonia
POST: I'm 29M and SO is 28F. We've been dating for 2.5 years and we're engaged to be wed in just under 3 weeks (oh ... wow)! Overall things are pretty great except for one thing - my SO (who I'll refer to as R) makes noises that drive me up the wall.
I'm normally a very calm person. I'm definitely the calmer of the two of us. And I'm not the only one with odd issues - R has "texture" issues and will constantly remake the bed before bedtime, even if I'm in it, trying to sleep. I put up with it.
But certain noises drive me up the wall. For example, R seems entirely unable to chew gum with a closed mouth. I don't understand how this could be impossible, but okay. R is also the only adult I know that sniffles rather than blowing their nose.
I know, I know. In the big picture, not really much to worry about. But I get very irrationally angry when I hear these noises. It takes all my self-control not to snap, and I usually end up wincing or twitching. Based on a search of this sub-reddit, it sounds a bit like Misophonia (wiki has an article, but I can't link in my post).
Does anyone else have it, as well as an SO who triggers it? What are your coping mechanisms? I'm assuming I can't get R to blow their nose or chew gum with a closed mouth. Or is that not an unreasonable thing to ask?
TL;DR:
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Some noises make me irrationally angry. SO won't / doesn't know how to stop making those noises. Any coping mechanisms anyone can share?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [17M] progress my (first) relationship with girl [17F]?
POST: Background: I've never had a girlfriend, and after hanging out with this girl in a group quite a few times, I asked her out and we've been on 2 dates. We have both had great times and are trying to plan a 3rd date in a week or so since different plans (and her getting her wisdom teeth pulled out) are getting in the way. However we will see each other twice at group things before the next date.
Now, since we are both pretty inexperienced at this, there's not much in the way of actual flirting or contact going on, just nice conversations and having fun. The only real contact was hugging after I drop her off at her house both dates.
I'm wondering, is there a not-so-awkward way of progressing this relationship by way of holding hands/kissing for the first time?
Also, while I'm posting, is there a certain point where you kind of become boyfriend/girlfriend (assuming both parties continue to want to see each other after multiple dates) or is it something I actually have to bring up and straight up ask about? I've been wondering this because I really want this to happen. Thanks in advance.
TL;DR:
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No real flirting/contact besides hugging on first two dates. How do I physically progress (read: holding hands, kissing etc) my first relationship as least awkwardly as possible when we are both very inexperienced at dating?
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: THE PROJECT
POST: Hello Reddit. I'm pretty new, just signed up last week I think, but I've been lurking for a while. I've read a bunch of the advice threads and I think you guys might be able to help me.
I just recently got out of a three year relationship, that was the best relationship of my life but had to end for logistical reasons. I learned alot from it and from my ex. I learned that I'm good looking but I absolutely lack confidence. I've been working out for the past year and have amassed a good amount of muscle. Before this relationship I suffered quite a bit with women. I've always been a nice guy, and I ended up in this last relationship because I had grown tired of being taken advantage of. Which brings me to my project for the summer.
I have taken it upon myself to become a machine of sorts. I want to be able to get any girl I want. Before I get yelled at in the comments, let me make it clear that despite all that I've been through I still respect (and actually love) women. I love being around them. BUT. I'm just coming into my own in the world. And I want to get into and perfect the dating game. So here's the deal. I've been working at an office for an internship program and there's this really hot intern that works on my floor. She's black, and from her accent I think she's into gangsta dudes, and wouldn't at first be attracted to me. I'm a black suburban guy. But I think confidence is key. Sometimes I get a little shaky when I'm around her and do my best to ignore her. I think she caught me looking at her legs one time but that might be a good thing. Yesterday I made her laugh a little bit, and SHE sometimes gets shaky with me when she's in my cubicle. I want to ask her out, and by the end of the summer I want to get her naked. There's going to be an office party in two weeks and I want to have made significant progress by then. Any advice on how to proceed reddit?
TL;DR:
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Intimidating but hot black chick, good-looking but nerdy suburban black guy, same office, how to ask out/seal the deal?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (23M) met a girl from another country (21F), and need advice on how / if I should make it work.
POST: Hey Reddit,
This is my first time posting something like this, so here goes nothing. I was backpacking Europe for two months and I met a very good looking very amazing girl from Eastern Europe. We met up later on in my trip and shared an apartment together and basically fell for each other. I don't know if I am crazy, and I have been in several relationships, but this girl feels and seems like someone worth pursuing aka "the one" even in a different country.
Yes, I know I only spent a 'short' amount of time together, but she feels the same way. We talk all the time still and video chat as well and I really want to go visit her. I just finished my Masters Degree, so I decided to look for jobs over Europe as well.
Reddit, my question to you is if I should make this work. I don't really know who to talk to or who would actually listen to this and not say that i'm crazy. It may be young love, but I really want this more than anything.
Preach to me guys!
TL;DR:
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Met a girl from a different country while backpacking, fell for her, trying to figure out if I should make it work or not
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (f24) feel like a bad toddler because I do not want to share my savings with SO (m25). Dating 6 years, living together 6 months.
POST: I thought about posting this to r/personalfinance, but I think you r/relationships people might be better at disecting this.
My SO and I have been together for 6 years, and moved in together this past year. We're talking about next steps, like buying a house, but therein lies the issue. I have money (like, 50K in investments) and he does not. We're trying to figure out how to combine our finances, and I'm wary of sharing my private nest egg.
A bit of background is required here. I have been working and saving my money literally since before I can remember. My parents tell stories of me growing green peppers in my backyard and selling them to my neighbours at the age of 4. Adorable, I know. I started investing before I was a teenager, saved for school, ate beans and rice and cabbage through university, lived in my parents' basement, paid off my debt, and worked multiple jobs at once. I have a bit of a nervous personality, so my money is my safety blanket, and a bit like my score in life.
I love my man more than I like my money, but I don't really want to share. He says that if it was his money he would consider it ours (don't scoff, he studied philosophy and I believe him). So I'm feeling guilty that I don't want to just hand over those dollars that represent my working time. Those dollars are my payments for heat exhaustion, blisters, headaches, working weekends, etc.
If I were to change "my" savings into "our" savings, it would bring us years ahead of where we would be otherwise, as far as affording a house. But I also feel that if our relationship doesn't turn out well down the road, I would really appreciate past-me keeping her money for herself.
So the question is, how do you deal with unequal finances in a relationship? Does being in a serious long-term relationship mean sharing things exactly equal, or should it be a "from each according to their ability" type of thing?
TL;DR:
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I'm not sure I want to share my personal investments with my SO, even if it were to be a down-payment on a house. Is it bad that I want us to contribute equally?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (22f) boyfriend (23m) of 4 years went through my phone earlier and found some pictures that he didn't like.
POST: My boyfriend went through my phone earlier and found some really old pictures. I'm talking like pictures from when I was still in high school. Among some of those were pictures of some naked guys. I totally forgot they were on my phone. After seeing them we both got really upset.
He thinks that I have no right to have pictures like that on my phone because he doesn't keep any revealing pictures of other women on his phone. He says that I'm the only one he thinks about when jerking off.
I think that what he did was a serious invasion of my privacy. I don't think he should have been going through my phone. It's not like I'm hiding these things but, come on, he's getting worked up about pictures for over 6 years ago! Before I had even met him.
What do you guys think? Am I wrong for having those (even though I forgot about them)? Or is he wrong for going through my things without asking?
TL;DR:
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Boyfriend found some REALLY old pictures of naked men on my phone. I think he's invading my privacy and he thinks I shouldn't have those pictures on there.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what is the most incredible lie you were told as a child?
POST: I'll start.. After losing my first milk tooth tooth (I was maybe about 5 or 6 years old) I ran and immediately informed my parents, who were sat in the living room. They took the tooth from me, placed it upon the TV and told me they would deliver it to the tooth fairy personally after their show had finished (how I never saw through this frankly quite lazy ruse is beyond me.. I must have just assumed they had "connections"). Anyway, exhausted from the excitement and thoughts dominated by all the wonderous possibilities, I decided to take a nap. I awoke maybe 2 hours later and blearily wandered into the living room to find my parents still sat in the same positions. I looked over to the television to find my tooth had been replaced. By a brand spanking new VHS copy of Space Jam. Hysterical, I asked how such a miracle could have occurred. My parents insisted that shortly after I went for my nap, there was a blinding flash of brilliant light and the tooth fairy, in all her splendiferous glory, appeared to them. This was shortly followed by another flash, after which both fairy and tooth had disappeared, only to be replaced by the hallowed tape. I believed this for years and still have the same copy of the film.
TL;DR:
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Lost first tooth, parents told me tooth fairy appeared in a flash and replaced with copy of space jam, which I still own.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Am I alone, or do other people feel like this?
POST: I am F(21) I have dated my fair share of guys. I have even dated guys that at first I did not like, but decided to give them a chance. After being single now for a solid 3 months, I despise men. I am really starting to feel like I never want a relationship again. I have been through almost everything the douche bag guys could pull. Being cheated on, guy seeing me and my friend at the same time, getting dumped for them to go back to their ex. Some people tell me I am going after the wrong guys. This may be true to an extent, but I have dated guys that were in business school, computer science, engineering, scaffolding, and plumbing. I am really starting to lose hope in the male species. Talking to people even about men, I am starting to catch myself generalizing. I have even started to realize the flaws in myself, for them to have treated me so poorly. But I am just finding that I never want to go on a date with a guy again, I don't even want guys texting me. Even in school just talking to a guy that is my friend I end up wanting to punch them. I am sure there are decent guys somewhere in the world, I would really like to think that. But I know for damn sure they are not within 500km of me.
TL;DR:
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is it possible after dating too many assholes, you really just would rather be alone for the rest of your life? rather than ever encounter the male species again?
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SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by slicing open my hand and bleeding..everywhere.
POST: So as of 10 minutes ago I fucked it up. By day I'm a teacher and by night I like to clean and turn fossils into art. So having a nice piece of slate I wanted to split I picked up my blunt knife...yeah I'm also looking for an honourable mention Darwin award here.
I find a nice crack and try to split the slate and as you can guess I put too much force into it, went through the rock and into my hand. For the next ten minutes I repeat "I'm a fucking idiot" while bleeding everywhere. The carpet, on the dog, the bathroom now looks like a scene from a horror movie.
I manage to pinch the skin together and tape it up. I'm wondering if I should ask the neighbours to drive me to A&E or just drink and try to explain to my fiancé why I'm now on a list for googling 'how to get blood out of the carpet'
TL;DR:
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try to split rock with a dull knife, stabbed myself and bled everywhere. Now waiting for the fiancé :/
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (22M) can't stop thinking about a friend (21f) I hooked up with last April and it's poisoning my current relationship.
POST: I hooked up with this friend one and she decided we should stay friends. I was okay with it at the time but the thought of her intrudes on my mind on occasion. I start wondering if she's dating someone or if she's going out on Friday and getting fucked by some random dude and it kills me.
The worst part is I started dating someone (since last August) that I think is a wonderful person (22F) that I really enjoy spending time with but we live about eight hours away from each other and these thoughts still bother me daily.
What can I do to truly get over my friend? I can't just never talk to her again and I can't really talk to anyone else about it. I've wondered if I should tell my girlfriend but that seems like it would only hurt her and not help anything.
TL;DR:
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I can't stop thinking about a friend I slept with once a year ago because she just wasn't that into me and I don't know what to do.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what are your thoughts on this? Interesting hospital Experience.
POST: Last night I took my friend to the ER. It wasn't serious, he only needed a few stitches.
We walk into the doors of the ER. My friend stepped up to the check-in counter, and I was in the position to see the side of the receptionist and a full view of the keyboard. The first thing asked by her was date of birth. He gave it to her. She then asked for his last name, first name, then confirmed a few things to him.
This normally isn't odd, as his information would probably be on file. However, the odd thing is that she typed in NOTHING. As stated, I had full view of the keyboard. The only part I could possibly have missed her typing was when she asked for a date of birth. This, however, would have nothing to do with her pulling up his info, as thousands of people were born on this date. When he told her his last name and first name, all she did was hit tab and enter.
Also, he did not give her an insurance card because after this incident he asked me to run out to the car to retrieve it for him.
But I'm curious Reddit, why did she not type the information into the computer, and how was she able to confirm things, such as his address, without typing in ANY info to pull up his information?
I of course have my own theories, but I'm curious to hear what you think reddit.
TL;DR:
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At the hospital, the ER check-in-lady was seemingly able to pull up a friend's info without typing any personal info into the computer.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I(26f) want to become friends with my(27m) professor
POST: This semester I am taking a statistics class and all semester I have had a crush on my professor. I have gotten to almost every class early and had random conversations with my professor, nothing personal just small talk type things. He is a grad student and is always very friendly. Now that the semester is almost over I find myself wanting to get to know him more and see him again when the semester is over.
I don't really want to pursue any kind of romantic relationship with him right now I just want to be friends with him, but I don't know the best way to go about doing that. First off I don't know if there are rules aganist being friends with your former professors or not but I know that I have to try and become friends with him.
So my question lies in how should I approach him with this? What should I say? I have thought that it'd be cute to ask him on the last day of class whats the probability of us being friends, but I'm worried that will sound flirty. I thought about asking him in person but i'm afriad that will make him feel pressured to say yes. I prefer to ask him this in person rather than in email but I will try whatever has better odds of working.
Any advice you guys can give me on the best ways to do this? I really don't want him to even know I have a crush on him.
TL;DR:
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I want to be friends with my professor after the semester ends but I don't know the best way to go about becoming friends with him. any advice is appreciated.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] with my ex [20 F] 3 months, she said I didn't take care of her emotionally well enough.
POST: She and I met online and it started out fantastically, we were both laughing and having a great time, so we decided to meet and see where it goes from there. We started off fast in person, like really fast. Sparks were there pretty much instantly. We dated for about 2 months and then things started to settle down. It seemed like she was starting to drift away so I decided I'd take her out on a fun date, so we went to Shenanniganz and then cooked dinner when we got home, it was awesome and we both had a great time. After that, for about a week, things were awesome again. However, just about 30 minutes ago, she breaks up with me over Skype and tells me that I didn't take care of her enough emotionally. I feel like I did everything I possibly could have to make sure we were both happy and content the entire time, since that's what I figure a relationship was supposed to be like. I just don't get what I could have done better if anything.
TL;DR:
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What could I have done better or was there anything I could have done in order to make her feel better about it? Also, sorry for posting like a noob, this is my first reddit post.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Advice I (23M) her (24F) involves a child which is hers and another guy not mine
POST: Allright reddit, I just moved out to Phoenix AZ about a year ago. I pretty much just picked up and moved so that's where I am at today. However before I moved out here I was talking to this woman and hit it off very well never really hung out with her just talked to her a lot at work and after work. When we decided to hang out and everything she backed down because she found out she was pregnant and she said she was really sorry and didn't expect this because of the other guy who is a douche bad. I still tried to talk to her because I liked her a lot and she didn't understand why I tried because she was pregnant with someone else's kid. This was all a year ago and we still talk quite often when I live 2000 miles away.
Fast forward to now a little back ground on the father of her child, the baby was born and he wasn't even there for the birth of his child nor has any par take in his life as of now. She is raising this child alone.
Now reddit this is I guess my question or concern, I am struggling out here in Phoenix all by myself don't really have friends and no family out here so I am contemplating on moving back to Michigan. I guess my question is am I moving back because I like this woman and want to be with her and possibly a father to a child that's not even mine. Am I wanting that, does she want that who knows? Am I trying to just help this woman because she is broken is that my weakness and what I like to do? Idk. I like this woman a lot have been keeping in contact with her snapchat her however I just don't know if it would work out because she has a kid with someone else. I guess the same thing happened to me and my dad now who is no my biological father I look at him like he is. So I know it can be done and work because my parents have done so. Thank you reddit even if I get no response it was nice to just let it go from my chest.
TL;DR:
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I like this girl a lot who lives back home 2k miles away she now has a kid who the father wants nothing to do with her and the kid.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25 F] ignored a guy's [25 M] messages now I feel sorry but he doesn't reply to my messages anymore. What should I do?
POST: I had a really hard break up last year. My ex boyfriend used and betrayed me for months. I fell in a deep hole, I needed professional help to manage my daily life. I lost all my self confidence and I couldn't see how to move on.
I moved to another city at the beginning of this year which helped me to get better and for the first time in months I can go through a day without feeling this massive pain. A friend of mine took me out a month ago and a really good looking guy approached me. We were taking for a bit and became friends on fb. He texted me the next day but I was sure that I don't want to go out with him. I don't want to get into trouble again and lose the feeling of being ok. I texted back and found an excuse why I couldn't catch up. I did this another two times and after that I didn't reply to his messages anymore. I know that this isn't nice I just didn't know how to react.
After I taked to my friend about it I felt really sorry about my behavior. Just because he wants to go for a coffee doesn't mean he's gonna treat me badly. I apologized and asked him to catch up this week but he didn't reply. This was a week ago. Should I text him again or should I leave it? I'd really like to get to know him especially as I am new in town.
TL;DR:
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I ignored the messages of a guy several times. I feel bad about it now and apologized but he didn't reply anymore. Should I try to contact him again?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend [27 F] and I [28 M] are visiting her family for Thanksgiving. Her dad keeps smoking around us and it makes me visibly sick and uncomfortable, but my girlfriend doesn't mind it. How can I communicate my concerns without looking like a jerk?
POST: As the title says, my girlfriend and I are visiting her father and mother-in-law for Thanksgiving. We all get along great except for when he smokes around us, which makes me visibly sick and uncomfortable. Usually I just make an excuse and remove myself from the situation until he finishes smoking (although he smokes about a pack every day or two), but it *really* bothers me that he smokes around everyone despite the health problems associated with smoking and second-hand smoke.
What makes this especially difficult is that my girlfriend supports her father's behavior, and became mad at me when I brought my concerns up to her. Normally I'm a pretty straightforward person and would communicate to him that it's a serious problem to me that he smokes around us, but I don't want to come off like a bossy jerk that's telling her father what to do in his own house.
Any outside-the-box ideas on how to approach this situation?
TL;DR:
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Girlfriend and I are visiting her family and her father keeps smoking around us, which makes me sick. I want to bring my concerns up to him, but my girlfriend thinks I should just deal with it.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is it just me(21f), or does reddit think it's odd that my bf(25m) of 3 years will not share his past relationship history nor does he want to hear mine?
POST: Basically what the title says. We met when I was visiting family across the country and kept in touch online for a year until he moved across the country to be with me. So since we have no previous connection (work, school, friend of friend etc) and I am not close with his friends or family I only know what he chooses to share with me. And he chooses not to tell me about any past relationships and it is starting to get to me.
I know he has had at least 1 gf, only because our moms were talking and his mom told mine that he has only allowed her to meet 1 previous gf before (which made it sound like there have been more)
I don't want to know his "number" necessarily... I just want to know about his past, not JUST relationships. He has told me a bit about his childhood, but almost nothing about his life during highschool and college.
I just want to know more about him and I want him to feel comfortable telling me anything.
I've told him I don't care about how many women he has slept with, I do care about how many serious relationships he has been in. I just do. It IS starting to concern me how much he is against talking about it...
TL;DR:
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bf refuses to share his relationship history, it is starting to bother me and I am asking reddit if I should or should not be worried?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Boyfriend (24m) just ended things with me (21f), should I meet up with a guy (25m) I previously dated who wants to apologize for hurting me in the past and be friends?
POST: My boyfriend (24m) of six months ended things with me (21f) with me very suddenly last week for unknown reasons. He had problems with drinking, marijuana,and expressing any type of affection, but I'm still heart broken over the breakup.
I had dated another guy (25m) casually for about 3 months before my ex and I started dating. We were non exclusive, but sleeping together. I thought we were at the point of becoming exclusive and was not aware that he was seeing other people until he told me that he was in love with someone else and ended things. He then cut all ties until last month when he contacted me again. I told him I was uncomfortable talking to him since I had a boyfriend.
A couple of days ago he contacted me again (I'm assuming he learned through facebook that I was single again) saying he was trying to be a better man and right his wrongs. He says he wants to talk to me in person so that he can apologize and explain everything to me. He also claims he isn't trying to start things up with me again which I really doubt. I'm afraid he's just trying to get me in bed again (not what I want right now), but do kind of want to meet up with him to see what he has to say. He's in the military and is moving in the summer. So I guess my question would be should I meet with him or not.
TL;DR:
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Ex and I just broke up, guy I dated previously wants to meet up so he can apologize for hurting me in the past and be friends. Should I agree to this or not?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (18m) have issues maintaining meaningful friendships with other males
POST: Ever since my friend (let's call him Ed) moved away when we were 14, I haven't had another male friend that I would consider good or significantly close to me. All of my current close friends are female and have been for a long time, but this is putting some strain on things both for me and my girlfriend since it makes her feel (understandably) not totally comfortable that I practically only have female friends and I talk to them pretty regularly; though that's not the focus of this post.
I'm feeling a bit like I need a bro, but every guy that I've tried to befriend I haven't hit it off with. I feel like I'm a very amiable guy and I have no issue with communicating with people but I still can't find any meaningful friendships with other males for whatever reason and I'm starting to suspect that I'm the problem but I really can't figure out what.
Is there any advice anyone can give me?
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I almost only have female friends and can't find any good male friends, I feel like I'm the problem but I don't know how, what do I do?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27M] with my GF [29 F] constant fighting and money problems.
POST: Me and my gf have discussed moving in for awhile. I have been pouring money into savings and working as much as I can to provide us with funding to do what we wish. This has resulted in a heavy strain on me, I work 8 hour days 6 days per week and sometimes I work well beyhond that. The shifts are all over the place, some days I start at 5am and some I start around noon and work until 10pm.
My issue is this: my GF has HORRIBLE credit, mine isn't great but it isn't terrible either. If we are to move in together it will be 100% in my name. Because of this I have suggested we start saving money, both for down payment on a place and as an emergency fund. Sadly while I have slowly gained a solid financial backing she has not. She claims to have saved quite a lot but then has reasons as to why it had to be depleted. I can't confirm she has actually followed through with any attempts to save money for either of these things.
Fast forward to a few days ago. While we are definitely hoping to find a house soon we are not close at all, in my eyes we havent even truly began. However a recent death in the family has left a house opened temporarily (2-3 months) and she wants me to move in with her to said house paying very minimal rent. While I like the idea of living with my GF I know we wont be able to: locate, offer, accept, and close, on a house in that time. I don't want to move into a temporary house just to move back home to mom and dad and possibly back out again in a few months. Is this unreasonable? This move also takes me further away from my job, which I have to go to 6 days a week and takes me right through rush hour traffic.
What do you think reddit? If you have any questions I'll be happy to answer.
TL;DR:
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Young couple with financial issues. I want to bulk up savings, GF cannot seem to accomodate. GF has death in family, house temporarily available, I want nothing to do with it. GF think's it's absurd.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Today at work my boss implied that when my contract expired, he wouldn't be re-hiring me. I need help staying motivated since I still have another month there. What are some of your tips for staying motivated?
POST: Context.
I'm still studying in college, and my college offers cooperative education.
During the interview for this position, I asked if I had a future beyond this coop. My boss assured me that they hire a lot of new grads and that (assuming all went well) I would be a shoe in for permanent employment.
They've hired a handful of previous coop students into full-time positions before.
I thought everything was going well, and I really love everything about this job.
I made a comment about being at the company in a year and he paused and said. "Oh. We'll have to see what happens between now and then."
I realize I may still get hired there (it wasn't a no, but I feel as though it's not as much of a sure thing).
Two options:
It's my fault I'm not being rehired, in which case I need to motivate the shit out of myself to impress them; or
It's not my fault, and I still need to motivate the shit out of myself so I can at least get a good reference.
Any help?
TL;DR:
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It kind of feels like I've been fired, only I have to still work at my current job for another month.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25 M] am struggling with my bisexuality and the effect on my relationship with my girlfriend of 2 years [24 F].
POST: Male, 25. Been attracted to both guys and girls my whole life. I sorta denied the homosexual urges early on, determined to hide my hookups from my friends and family. This line of thinking has continued until this day. I have had many hetero relationships and have a current girlfriend I've been with for ~2 years.
I am just so confused. Sometimes I feel like I am more deeply sexually attracted to men than women BUT feel like I wouldn't want a relationship with a man. It is a difficult concept to come to terms with. These questions swirling around my head have created a problem with performance in the bedroom with my GF as well. Not getting it up makes me feel like perhaps I should be with a man instead. I am only out to my current girlfriend. I just don't know how to handle my urges and desires. I feel like maybe I need to experience life out as a bisexual before getting really serious with the current GF to be sure of what I want. At the same time I love her and am terrified of losing her.
Not only that, I am extremely worried about getting back into the dating scene with both girls and guys and continuing to have erectile problems. If you've had a similar problem you know that this line of thinking is extremely counterproductive towards overcoming it.
Sorry for the rant. I just need advice and perspective. Thanks friends.
TL;DR:
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Bisexual questioning is messing with my sex/love life, how can I be sure about my future with my longterm girlfriend?
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SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Do I have to pay this parking ticket? London Ontario, Canada
POST: I'll give the entire story - I went to a condo building in london (ON) to stay at my friends place there. He confirmed he has visitor parking and a communal parking space that no one uses amongst him and his room mates. When I got there it was 8pm and the security said that only the property management can issue parking passes. In my personal experience I have NEVER seen front desk security not allowed to issue parking which is my first concern.
Anyway, so I ended up parking in the private garage regardless under the building without a pass. Of course from being there for under 12 hours I received a ticket. I have heard before that you do not have to pay parking tickets here if they're issued form private companies and many people I know have outstanding private parking tickets but were still able to renew their license. The key factor here is that it's private, not government. They sent me a collection letter later. It's also 75$ which is outrageous, another reason I certainly do not want to pay it. They threatened that a debt collection agency would contact me via mail, but I don't think its anything more than a threat.
My question is, do I have to pay it? Should I ignore it? We have parking at the building too because of my friend's lease, could I even contest this somehow?
TL;DR:
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I parked in a private parking lot when security wouldn't (but should have) issue me a parking pass. Do I need to pay it? Are their debt collection threats just threats? Can I contest it?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[19 M] gf [19 F] cries every day over trivialities
POST: So I've been with my college girlfriend for about 9 months, and ever since I can remember she loves to cry. She moved in for 2 days, 3 nights a week so it's more convenient for her to get to school (this happened in Fall 14'). The majority of her episodes are about trivial things; like the fact that we missed our bus, that the grocery store didn't have pie, or that we woke up at different times.
It's making me resent her. At first I had utmost sympathy, as she was clearly a very emotionally weak person. But now, after such a long time, it just pisses me off because it's never a big deal.
If I was to bring it up, she simply cry and refuse to discuss it. It's not a healthy predicament. A part of me wants to suggest she gets clinical therapy, but I don't think she would consider that an option. I still want to be with her. She's the sweetest and most innocent girl I've ever known.
I'll edit with more information as it's requested.
TL;DR:
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gf cries over trivialities, guilt trips me over nothing and now I'm resentful. How can I remedy this situation?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [23F] aunt [44f] keeps letting her drug addict brother, my uncle [41m] back into her house. what advice do i give her?
POST: This has been ongoing for years and everyone keeps telling her the same thing "kick him out, this is not your burden to bear".. It's tough love but every time she lets him in, he's high around her children, steals her stuff and then she finally kicks him out and he guilts her with "im just living on the streets" so she takes him back. He is not doing anything to better himself and we've all tried to get him into rehab before, when he had health insurance, but he would not go. I just want some sound advice to give to her because everyone can see that she feels that she must provide for him but he is walking all over her.
If there's any suggestions or needed information, let me know. Please help! We just want to get him help without her having to provide for him; she's not in a situation to do that.
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my aunt keeps letting my drug addict uncle back into her house. he has no medical insurance and he's been living on the streets. how do we give him help without her having to support him?
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SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by taking a long, relaxing,shower
POST: It was 8 am and i decided to go into the bathroom, and follow my daily routine. Wash my face, take a piss, and shower.
I washed my face and then hopped in the shower, i decided today, being Sunday i would take a shower. Little did i know (or hear in my case) the sink was running. So i continue on showering and relaxing shaving my balls and such, until im interrupted by my dads Spanish girl friend "water leaking downstairs". So i immediately jump out of the shower to see my sink overflowing, water dripping on the floor and hear my father yelling at me from downstairs. Meanwhile I'm standing here with a half shaved ballsack.
Got downstairs, and there is a potlight leaking right below the drain from my bathroom. Drywall creases are fucked up. Lighting is fucked, and who knows what. Looks like the drain under my sinks overflow valve is clogged. Mold underneath sink boarding. Great. Looks like this sink has been broken for a while.
TL;DR:
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Took a shower, left sink running, flooded broken drain in upstairs sink. Floor below is now leaking profusely
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SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by accidentally suggesting an inappropriate acronym for a Christian camp and giving our church a bad name.
POST: So this wasn't actually today as lots of these stories are, but anyway in January this year I attended a Christian camp, called "leaders in training" or (LiT) with six other people from my church. The camp is aimed at late teens helping them to learn how to lead events in local churches and what not. Anyway the camp is pretty big and lots of different "types" of Christians were there, some who are very strict and conservative, others who are not as much.
On the first night our church group is sitting together in the main hall waiting for the main teaching/service to begin for the night. One of my friends mentions to me how he thinks the name wasn't very well thought out. The camp likes to seem modern to the younger generation and had a large social media presence using the hashtag "Lit". Upon viewing the hashtag half the results were photos of people at the camp, or posts concerning it, and the other half was of people smoking weed.
Here's where I mess up. I respond to my friend that "I agree, the name is misleading and suggests something they no doubt wouldn't like to be associated with, and even if you ignore that, the name doesn't even suggest it's a Christian camp"
Here it comes…
"It's a bad acronym, they should have just called it "Christian Leaders in Training" instead."
It took about two second before my friend and I realised why this wouldn't be a suitable replacement. After these two seconds my friend bursts out laughing, arousing the interest of the rest of my church group (no pun intended).
He then explains the conversation to the rest of the church group. They were also amused, however one of my friends didn't understand why this was inappropriate and says (quite loudly) "Clit? Why is that so funny? What's wrong with Clit?"
The thirty or so people around our little group, who have just heard this question completely out of context, give our group some very upset and indignant looks.
So it's night one and our little church group gets a bad rep thanks to my lack of thinking before speaking.
TL;DR:
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Accidentally gave my church group a bad rep by suggesting the name of the camp should be changed to the shortened form of the word "clitoris".
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21/F] with my friend with benefits [26/M] of 6 months. He had sex with me while dating another girl but refused to have sex with her.
POST: Last November I met Matt at a party and we dated for a while but we both decided that we didn't want to be in a relationship. Instead we've been friends with benefits since January and things have been great between us. Not only do we sleep together but he's also my best friend and we care about each other a lot.
Matt and I have both been dating people during this time, however he only recently told me about a girl he met in Janurary. He described her as being perfect for him as she was extremely attractive and they had common lifestyles (they both train for several hours a day at the gyn). He thought things were going great with her but she unexpectedly broke things off with him in April. She wouldn't explain why and it devastated him. He fell into depression and I have been helping him through it.
This is all fine.The thing that really irks me is the fact that he didn't have sex with this girl he was so clearly in love with, and the fact that he regularly had sex with me (3-4) times a week while dating her. I just can't understand the reasoning behind that. Any thoughts/ suggestions would be greatly appreciated!
TL;DR:
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Friend with benefits of 6 months was dating the perfect girl for 4 months but instead of having sex with her he continued to have sex with me.
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What should I do for my major?
POST: Well, here's the deal. I go to Bridgewater State in MA, and I'm currently an Elementary Ed major. I love kids, so this works. Until I start prepping for the math MTEL (licensure exam). Math is my worst subject. And in doing these worksheets and taking this class... I'm practically failing. I don't understand anything. I'll never pass the math portion, meaning I can never become a teacher.
So... I've decided to cut my losses while I'm still a freshman and can make these decisions without seriously harming my progress. My next thought was working with animals - particularly dogs. I love dogs as much as I love kids. Problem is, the only thing relating to animals (dogs) I could find is Biology with an ecological concentration.
My hope was maybe to work in a doggy day care, or maybe even training service dogs. But my school has nothing even close to this, and I also have no idea what that "major" would be anyways.
I really don't want to transfer schools, which is another huge issue of mine... I hate having to go through the whole finding friends routine...
So, Reddit... think you can help me out?
Also, in case it helps, my school's [list of majors](
TL;DR:
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Suck so bad at math I'll fail teacher licensure. Trying to find major working with dogs, either training service dogs or doggy day care deal.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M] and my ex [19 F] dated for about a year, broke up about a year ago. Should we be friends again?
POST: For context, we're both in college and we were together for about a year. We ended on somewhat bad terms but I feel that enough time has passed now that we could try being friends again. While we were together, we were very good friends and completely open, so I feel like a good friendship could be salvaged. I have no intention of getting back together, as I don't have any feelings for her anymore.
At the same time, there was a lot of pain between us. Toward the end she became borderline verbally abusive, and she was very emotionally unstable. Despite this, she and I were almost the same exact person, and we meant a lot to each other during our time together.
TL;DR:
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Ex and I haven't spoken in a year but I'm considering burying the hatchet and trying to make things better.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28/F] with my married friends [28 M and 28 F] she got in a car accident and I found out about it on social media
POST: I have been friends with Sean and Kate since college. They got married about 3 years ago and I have been hanging out with them steadily since then.
I am single. I don't think this should matter, but perhaps it does. I see them once or twice a week for game night. It's always just me and them. I watch their dogs when they go out of town anytime they ask because I love them and I love their dogs. I never get invited to couples nights out or their other college friend get-togethers. This usually does not bother me because I guess it's a couple thing and I just don't fit in. It always seemed like they wanted to keep me separate for this reason, but after this incident, I no longer know how to feel.
Today I was going through my Instagram and I saw a post from her. It was flowers and basically said how thankful she was for her friends (which was about five girls from her inner married circle, most of whom do not even live in town) and that they cared about her when things went wrong. I immediately texted her to ask what was going on. She informed me that she had gotten in a car accident with her mother that resulted in injury. This was old news to her as she explained what happened. I became upset (not directly to her, but after the fact) and questioned (to myself) if I mattered enough for them to let me know about this at all. I feel like I do not matter enough in their lives and this is the realization that hurts me the most. How do I let them know how I feel without making the situation about me, because I am sure she is reeling as it is.
TL;DR:
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friend got in car accident and I find out about it much later, making me feel our friendship matters much more to me than it does to her/them
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SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: Reddit, help me create my new job.
POST: Currently, I work as an "Instructional Technology Specialist" at a college. We are in charge of everything electronic that isn't the computer (projectors, audio systems, video conferencing, etc.). This summer I made a short video detailing our new Telepresence system. Everyone at the school was super impressed with my video skills (though the video wasn't that amazing, imho).... though, I have a degree in film.
Because of that video, I've had a number of requests to make more videos. My boss decided that maybe it'd be wise to make a position for just that purpose with the intention of it going to me. He has asked me to create a job description and come up with some equipment that I think I'll need.
So, with this rare opportunity, I'm wondering if there is anything I can sneak into the job description that would be fun or funny. My boss is obviously going to review the description, so it has to be subtle. Even if it is just a joke that only certain people would understand. Or maybe it isn't a joke, but a "technical" part of my job that my boss wouldn't understand, but sounds acceptable.
qualification ie. "knowledge of existing and emerging internet technologies such as vimeo, twitter, and reddit"
I have the [description in its current form on google docs] for folks to look at (and edit).
Also, I am making [a post] in WeAreTheFilmMakers to suggest equipment.
TL;DR:
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I'm writing the job description (for myself) for a new job making videos for the college I work at... have any ideas of things I should add?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [22f] Feeling trapped and depressed with bf [26m] of a different culture
POST: We've been together 3 years. He's from central america, I'm from Utah (former mormon). He knows english even better than me, no accent at all, but I feel like the things I take for granted in the way my brain works (i.e. U.S. social norms, how to cheer someone up, how to be a good person), he takes in almost the complete opposite. He's always getting angry at me and I'm always saying "I'm being misunderstood!". We want to make each other happy, but no matter what we do, it seems we can't avoid fighting. We're so dependent on each other, and since our relationship began, never left each other's side (so I have no friends, or life at all other than him now) The problem is, I'm reaching my limit of him getting mad at me while having no idea why. I was always yelled at as a child/teenager, and I'm afraid my entire life is always going to be people yelling at me. It's not his fault, we're both just reacting to how we think subconsciously. I just feel like I have to turn into a "bad" person, in order for him to think it's good. Is this something that can be fixed or am I condemned to a life of sadness and heartache?
Example of recent argument: He has an idea for a story, seems like he's throwing around title ideas, I try to help him come up with a title based on the feeling of the story. He gets angry at me saying I think I know everything. I say it seemed like he wanted another title. He gets angry at me for putting words in his mouth. After an hour of fighting, I find out he didn't want another title, that he really liked the title he was throwing around. I wish I didn't open my mouth.
TL;DR:
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Boyfriend misunderstands me because of cultural differences. What's good to me is bad to him. When I explain what I mean, it gets worse. I just don't want to talk at all now.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23F] with my ex [24M]. He is refusing to tell me his new address even though our son [2M] stays there.
POST: I have posted on here before with a problem relating to my ex and I got some very helpful advice and so I thought maybe I could get some advice again.
A brief background to this: my ex and I have a 2 year old son. About 10 months ago we broke up and initially it was on good terms but then I found out he had started his relationship with his new girlfriend before we broke up and then things got quite bad between us. Not long ago we went through mediation to agree on custody and recently we have been getting along much better and have actually been talking to each other.
But a few days ago I heard from a friend that he and his girlfriend are now living together. I admit I don't like her and it has hurt me a little to know they are living together so quickly but I know he can do what he wants. I really don't like that he has not told me that his address has changed as it means I don't actually know where my son has been when he has been with his dad. I emailed my ex asking him why he didn't tell me and he got aggressive in his response telling me that he doesn't have to tell me everything and it's his right to do what he wants with his son. I asked him where he lived now and he refused to tell me.
I might be more angry than I should be but I don't like not knowing where my son is. What I would like to know is it okay for him not to tell me or am I being irrationally angry? I don't know how to make him tell me but it is something I would like to know. He gets me so stressed out over small things by refusing to talk to me when I want him to and sometimes I don't know how I can get through 16 more years of this.
TL;DR:
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my ex bf and I have son together. we had a bad break up and now he has moved in with his new girlfriend and won't tell me the address. I don't like not knowing where our son is staying.
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SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: the girl is confusing the shit out of me
POST: So I live in a house with this girl, have since the fall. We're both students, she's 20 I'm a male about to turn 22. We've hung out nearly everyday, drinking and talking and stuff. I've also been in love with her for a long time, but it seemed that she didn't really like me, so I kinda tried to get over it and move on, so I saw a couple other people instead (btw, I should mention I'm the not the forever alone type or extremely socially awkward either). But anyway, about a month ago, we did mushrooms with a larger group of people, kinda spent the day in different areas, which is fine and all, but at the end of the night, she seemed like she really wanted to hang out alone, we went out onto the porch and talked about our experiences. Then I was like, I'm gonna cuddle up on you, so I did, then we ended up cuddling for a while, she brought blankets out from her room cause it was cold out. Well for some reason I didn't make a move to grab her hand or kiss her or anything, because to be honest I was kinda surprised she wanted to since I had thought she only wanted to be friends for such a long time. So a week later, we were chilling on the porch again, and I decided to lay down on the couch with my head on her lap, and eventually I grabbed her hand. So that was good for a while. Now though, we haven't done much because I can't seem to coax her alone away from the house. And I don't want to come right out and be like, let's go on a date please. It seems kinda wrong somehow. I also wrote her this super-corny note with simple pictures and things, but didn't end up giving it to her, because I figure actions are worth more than words, but most of the time she's not very open or responsive, like in the way her body posture is, but then occasionally, there will be a good time and she'll open up more. I don't want to spend all the time on the porch trying either, because it's a busy house, and that's shit is easier and imo better done alone and on a date and shit.
TL;DR:
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This girl is confusing the hell out of me and I don't know what to do about it. You pretty much gotta read it.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20F] with my ex-BF [21M] of 6 months, broke up Sunday. My 21st is next week.
POST: I'm sorry if this isn't the right place for this question. My BF and I broke up Sunday, after a mostly great relationship but 2 weeks of mistrust, fighting, yelling, crying etc. I feel a lot better than I thought I would, but I didn't make any plans for my 21st birthday as I thought I'd spend it with my now ex. I don't have a lot of friends, and most of them went with the BF. I'm not necessarily looking to date again right now, but I'd like some tips on how to get back out in social settings after a major breakup.
TL;DR:
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Serious BF and I broke up, next week is my birthday. Need tips/advice for getting back out there and having fun!
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25M] with my GF [26F] of 6 years, She cheated and trying work things out
POST: My GF has worked 3000 km away 4 months of the year for the last two years. One week before returning at the end of this summer she broke down crying during a skype date and said that she had sex twice during the summer with a co-worker(once in June and once in August). She has been back home since Friday (we live about an hour away from but see each other every weekend).
She is truly sorry for what she did and wants to do anything she can to make things work between us. She blames her infidelity on losing sight of the "big" picture during the summer as well as letting the distance get the best of her. I'm looking for advice as to what losing sight of the big picture and letting the distance get to you even means. please help reddit.
TL;DR:
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GF of 6 years cheated with co-worker while away during the summer. She blames it losing sight of the big picture and letting the distance get to her. What does that even mean?
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SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by hot gluing my finger to my lip
POST: My daughters birthday is coming up so we decided to make a pinata out of cardboard. Well taping it wasn't working so we decided to hot glue some of the places that the tape didn't want to stay on. Well hot glue dribbled down the side so I used my finger, like the genius I am, to stop it from running all over the pinata. It really hurt so I put it up to my lip...Now I have a piece of my lip burnt off and my finger is starting to bubble. I really don't know why I put it up to my mouth. I guess I wanted to stop the pain lol Please forgive me if this sounds like crap, this literally just happened and I can't type well.
TL;DR:
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hot glue dribbled so I used my finger to stopped it, it hurt so I put it up to my mouth to stop the pain. I'm pretty sure some of my lip is on my finger. :(
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SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Looking for direction/ideas? (Career goals)
POST: Warning Long Read:
I recently moved to the Washington DC Metro area with a Fortune 500 company. They paid for my move and overall I have been satisfied with the job. I do feel underpaid for working in this (geographical) area (38k a year) and recently my boss (who is just one position above me) made a dumb move and left his W2 out and I found out he makes 120k a year. The realy dishearted me because I was already feeling overworked/underpaid and now even more so. He's only been with the company 4 years and in that position for 2 years.
**My Issue:** I spoke to a guy that has been working at this location for the past 38 years (he likes to joke that he has been with the company longer than I've been alive). He has worked with my boss from day one and has seen 4 people leave my position after a year because my boss won't promote them because he does not want competition (I work sales). I am quickly approaching the one year mark and want to look at getting another job and wanted to see what people recommended?
Education: Double Major International Business/Business Admin
English and Spanish Fluent
10+ Years Experience in Sales/Customer Service (I'm very people oriented).
TL;DR:
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Overworked/Underpaid, Boss Probably won't give me a promotion because he does not want competition in sales. Looking for ideas in other jobs/careers? Analyst with a goverment contractor here maybe?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: She [29 F] is moving across the country. Do I [31 M] tell her how I feel?
POST: I met her 7 years ago in college. We were introduced by a mutual friend. We have been around each other in the same social circle since then.
I've always had feelings for her but I never acted on them because we were always seeing other people and the timing was off.
I just found out she is moving across the country to be with her long distance boyfriend in a few months.
Our group of friends are going on a trip this weekend to stay at a cabin for a few days. Do I tell her how I've felt about her all these years or forever hold my peace?
TL;DR:
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Woman I have feelings for is moving across the country in a few months. Should I tell her how I have felt about her for years?
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Dieticians!! What would you recommend to someone who depends on coffee as a laxative?
POST: My brother-in-law is anorexic, he lives with us & we are taking care of him because he can't take care of himself. I make him healthy, beneficial food. He'll eat 2-3 mouth fulls, put the food away then proceed to eat junk food. To which he complains about lack of energy, he believed he had chronic fatigue due to lack of energy (he doesn't btw). I have explained the difference about processed vs. raw foods & why he would be more compelled to go for the junk food. He explains that he feels full & that his bowel movements are stagnant so he drinks copious amounts of coffee for bowel movement. His body has now become dependent & now can't do it naturally. Dieticians, I need a weening alternative to get rid of coffee in our household. Please help.
TL;DR:
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anorexic bro-in-law has lack of energy, to the point of no bowel movement. Now is coffee dependent, need a solution. HELP!!
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SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by listening to Kanye West while writing an essay.
POST: It was a thursday night, and I had an English essay due the next morning. I was up late because I had procrastinated. The prompt for the essay was essentially to pick a mundane object and write three pages on how it showed something about the human condition. I picked a caterpillar to write about, and was getting pretty fucking frustrated (I get angry easily). I decided to turn on Pandora to get my creative juices flowing, and the first song that came on was POWER by Kanye West. I was already in a spiteful mood, and this song got me going. I went on a rampage for the next five minutes. In the final paragraph of my essay, I called the essay (and all of human curiosity) "useless" because "on the off chance I actually come up with something you think is meaningful, I'll just forget about it in a week when summer starts!" and wrote whatever spiteful, proverbial middle finger I could come up with, and decided I would not revise or reread the essay at all because WWKWD (What Would Kanye West Do?)
TL;DR:
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Kanye West inspired me to write an essay where I complained about how useless English class is instead of what the prompt was about. And I didn't revise.
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SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Credit Card Debt Help! (Just found out =\)
POST: Hi folks,
My current situation is weird, but please hear me out, I could use a lot of help.
So my mother is a single parent, who lives with my grandmother and my sister. My mom works 2 min wage jobs, make roughly $1800 a month and my sister makes roughly $800 from her job (min wage as well). I'm away at college, and basically I take care of myself. My sister put $6700 worth of debt onto one of my mother's cards and (I just found out) $7000 onto another card. My sister basically takes care of our finances and my mom has no idea. The debt is from when we were going through some rough times (both cars broke down, grandma's dental bills, ect). Yelling at my sister won't change much, I basically want to get my mother out of this debt.
We have roughly $7000 in a savings account, which my sister hasn't been using to pay the debt off because she thinks we may need it in case something else goes wrong (I've been urging her to use at least some of it for the debt). Our rent/utilities come out to be roughly $1600 or so per month at the moment. Also, after taxes my mom and sister should receive about $6000 in tax returns.
Can anybody lend me some advice about this. My mother has virtually no idea of finances, my sister clearly isn't handling this properly, and I'm just getting overwhelmed and dealing with my sister crying on me every time I bring this up (I love her to death, but I'm also stressed as hell right now).
TL;DR:
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14k credit card debt (7k ea on 2 cards), 7k in savings, $2400 monthly income, $1600 rent/utilities/gas. HELP!
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: 19/M need help talking to a girl without being a creep.
POST: I spent a weekend visiting my buddy up at college and we went to a party where I met a girl. Didn't learn too much about her other than her name, where she's from, and where she attends school now. (She goes to a different school where a couple of friends of mine go.)
Anyways me and my friend partied with her and her friends for a night but now that I'm back home and she's back at her school I have no idea how I'd ever see her again. I do remember me saying that we could party with my friends at her school but being we were both drunk idk if her yes meant anything or that she would even remember me if I did go there.
Normally wouldn't post anything like this on the internet, but I'm really bad with women. Like almost as bad as Raj from big bang theory where he has to be drunk to speak to them.
TL;DR:
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met a girl at college A, she attends College B and probably doesn't know I exist. How do I message her/meet her again without being a total creep? Thanks for any help.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [23F] make up with my almost SIL[28 F] after she said some not so nice things about me to my SO when we were on a break?
POST: Hi all! My fiance (Ben) and I met 10 years ago and were friends for about 3 years before we started dating. We have been engaged for the last two years, mostly because of cultural issues that dictate us getting married after his elder brother (Jack), who's now wife of 6 months is the almost SIL (Jill). Now that they are finally married, we have been starting to plan our wedding for sometime in 2017.
Over the last few months I've been feeling pretty hormonal due to new medication and haven't been the best fiancee. We are also temporarily LD for a year because of a contract position I am on and I'm unable to be there emotionally and haven't had time to see him on skype due to a 7 hr time difference. Due to this, about two months ago, I had a panic attack and told Ben I needed a break from everything because I felt so bad. He was also ticked off with me and calling me out for checking out of the relationship recently. I said I needed sometime to myself where I can clear my head and set my priorities before I could wholly commit to him because it wasn't fair to him to put with someone who could not prioritize him.
Ben started freaking out because I was leaving him, and confided in his brother who then confided in Jill. While I'm sure Jill had the best intentions some of what she said to my fiance rub me the wrong way. For example, she immediately assumed that I was cheating or found someone else to cheat on and told this to my fiance. She also said something like:
"She thinks you're going to wait for her? That's her holier than thou attitude thinking she can do no wrong"
It rubs me the wrong way because I feel as though she has some opinions of me but doesn't share them for whatever reason.
Ben and I have since mended our relationship, and figured out it ways to get past the distance. I'm just not sure what to do with this because I'm a bit socially awkward and don't know how to act around Jill. So reddit, how do I get over this?
TL;DR:
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Almost SIL said some things that rub me the wrong way while my fiance and i were on a break. We are good now, but I don't know how to act around SIL
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: To break up or not .. confused ..
POST: First post, seeking advice (sorry in advance if lengthy)! I've been dating my SO For about 3 years now, let's call him Max a 23 year old male. I a (21 year old female) am confused and don't know what the hell to do.
Lately I'm not sure if I'm really happy anymore and he's been talking to this girl who I absolutely HATE for awhile now and they decided to go hang out today at the movies. They're friends of course and she has a boyfriend. The reason I detest her is b/c when him and I broke up awhile back, he attempted to get nudes of her and he even told me that as soon as him and I broke up, her attitude towards him changed into flirty.
Of course I was pissed off b/c everytime I ask him to go on a one on one date w/me to the movies, we always go with a group of friends, so this really bothered me. I used to talk to someone he hated as well, but he found out so I stopped. I never hung out with the person he hated though. He has done a lot to change for me, he deals with anger issues and his jealousy has subsided quite a bit. I'm not sure whether I should let this bother me to the point where I should break it off or not.
TL;DR:
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boyfriend hangs out with girl I dislike, has tried to get nudes of her before, don't know if I should break up or not
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SUBREDDIT: r/AskDocs
TITLE: I think I injured my lower back doing deadlifts improperly yesterday, what to do?
POST: So yesterday I was weightlifting and one of the guys I was lifting with wanted me to do deadlifts. The form he showed me felt off but I went with it, legs straight and at shoulder width back bent when picking up the weight. After a few reps I felt a twinge on the lower right side of my back, initially I didn't realize what it was because it wasn't excessively painful, but I soon stopped when I realized ehat was happening. Since then I've had sort of a dull soreness in that lower right area of my back. I can't really feel it when I'm standing or lying flat on my back. Yesterday it seemed to go away when I was taking a hot shower. I really don't want to deal with a doctor but I also really don't want to screw up my back permanently. I know for certain that I won't use anymore free weights or do back exercises until I've researched proper form.
TL;DR:
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Was deadlifting with straight legs and bent back yesterday and felt slight twinge. Today I have a sort of dull pain on the right side of my lower back that goes away when standing or lying flat. What do I do?
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 M] with my gf [21 F] 5 months, am I being crazy and overly sensitive here?
POST: I have a problem with the way my GF talks to me. She criticizes me, curses at me, and is sarcastic in ways I don't like. One time she made a sarcastic joke about her trying me out in bed and me not being very good. She says I'm autistic in a joking way. She keeps trying to put her finger in my butt. She calls me a ho and thinks it's funny. Gives me the middle finger and thinks it's funny. She randomly bites me as we are walking down the street. She tells me I don't compliment her enough and I'm not very romantic. She is late every where when we meet up somewhere, anywhere from 30 minutes -2 hours later (which I found rude). When she gets mad she will blow up, yell, and curse at me during an argument.
She curses at me in casual conversation. For example, I made a wrong turn and she told me "Why the f**K would you turn there," in a very condescending tone--things like that happen.
I tried having a talk with her about it and she tried to change. Last time I got annoyed with her and told her I wanted to speak to her, I called her and told her I didn't like her tone with me and she told me "this is a stupid f***king conversation. If you want to bring up every time I speak to you rudely we should just break up. I have stress with school and it will happen just let it roll off your back"
I gave her an ultimatum last week and told her either she changes or I want to leave the relationship. She told me I was "overly f**cking sensitive" and that she speaks to her mom in a similar way (her and her mom call each other hos, middle fingers at each other, curse at each other, and think it's funny). She told me that it's just her personality and she doesn't think she can change but will take some time to think about things and get back to me.
TL;DR:
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I think my GF is rude, but she thinks I'm overly sensitive. Not sure if I am being somewhat crazy here.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Friend's [25 F] BF[24 M] of four months is meeting a girl he had feelings for during Thanksgiving break
POST: My friend's bf of 4 months told her that during the thanksgiving break, he will meet up with this girl who was a great friend of his, and one he had deep feelings for even though she was his best friend's girlfriend at the time. Nothing happened, they never dated because of his best friend, and they are now just friends.
He has asked my friend that she can come along when he meets this girl.My friend is not happy about it. She was nervous about his relationship with this other girl the moment he told her about them. This girl also sent him a new housewarming present which my friend was not pleased about.
When he announced that he is going to meet his friend, she got even more upset. It hurt her feelings that he is going to go MEET this girl even though my friend has always made it clear that their relationship makes her uncomfortable.She has told him it looks like he is still prioritizing this other girl over his girlfriend's feelings. He says she cannot tell him to cut off his friends and he will not and he hopes overtime she comes around to it.
Would you be upset?
TL;DR:
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BF wants to meet up with a friend he had feelings for over thanksgiving break. GF is upset and feels disrespected that he is going to meet her disregarding her hurt feelings.
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SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I'm [27/M] less attracted to my girlfriend [26/F], but she puts/rants when I try to explain. Advice?
POST: edit: POUTS not Puts
So basically I work an evening job and she works during the day. We both work long hours, but when I get home she's almost ready for bed and I'm kind of still geared for another 2 hours of lounging. Anyways, she'll say she wants to "hangout, talk, have sex" but she's just sleeping on the couch next to me dozing on and off, and when I'm like "OK, I'm ready to sleep" She starts pouting, i.e. turns away, mumbles incoherently, silent treatment.
I'm sorry but her sleeping on the couch and pouting does not turn me on and I don't want to have sex. So we argue about it. Or she starts pouting and I say "I can't understand you, you're mumbling and I'd like to actually have a conversation." And so then I just want to sleep, and then she's like NO! Let's talk about it.
I'm kind of just getting tired of it, and I don't feel as attracted to her anymore. I know she's tired by the time I get home, so I try to be understanding, but it just seems like she can't see it from my side.
TL;DR:
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My girlfriend is asleep or pouting and doesn't understand why I don't want to have sex with her, even if I explain I"m tired or don't find that attractive.
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